


Guess We're Stuck With Each Other - Sirius x Hermione

by destielsmestiel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Arranged Marriage, BAMF Hermione Granger, Dumbledore Lives, F/M, Flirting, Fred Weasley Lives, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Marriage Law Challenge, Nymphadora Tonks Lives, Post War, Remus Lupin Lives, Severus Snape Lives, Sirius Black Lives, Truth or Dare, au where no-one died, bit of PTSD, everyone is on edge, everyone loves party games, implied wolfstar, marriage law, marriage laws, oh so much angst, oh yeah and did i mention, unstable ministry, yes that means a bit of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 58,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7422232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielsmestiel/pseuds/destielsmestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Ministry's new laws to repopulate the Wizarding World mean marriage is a necessity. But Hermione doesn't want Ron.<br/>Reorganising her life, she makes some unusual friends in some unusual places.<br/>With a completely spontaneous marriage, Hermione Granger and Sirius Black try to make it work. After all, they're only the most opposite people in the world.</p><p>(All hail the mighty JK who owns all characters)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Burrow Breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first proper fanfiction - please be gentle.
> 
> Just to clarify this AU, the war ended in Harry's fifth year when he defeated Voldemort. We never lost Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Snape, Cedric, Fred or Dumbledore. Thought Voldemort is dead, the Ministry is corrupt and Death Eaters are still a problem.

Stumbling down the stairs, Hermione could hear the bustle of the Burrow; it was a sound that she adored. Everyone moved in sync: the twins could dart from one end of the room to the other without knocking a single person over, Molly laid the table just as everyone sat down, Arthur managed to move off the stairs, brush the last of his hair out of his face, peck his wife on the cheek, and put his coat on in one fluid movement.

Her hair was acting up again. That was evident from a quick glance in the mirror.

"Ron, have you seen the Daily Prophet?" It was Ginny, her usual, bubbly self. "Rita Skeeter's at it again."

Hermione weaved through the mess of ginger haired people, taking a seat between Remus and Ron.

"Guess it could be much worse for you, eh, Hermione?" Remus nosed over the top of his copy of the paper, giving her a gentle smile.

"What's that, sorry?" she turned sharply to face him, confused and curious.

"Harry!" Ginny beamed as he too stumbled down the stairs with bed hair. "Look!" She continued to grin as she handed him her copy of the paper.

Wincing, he adjusted his glasses and took a seat. “Ministry's New Marriage Laws Hit The Wizarding World By Storm."

Almost simultaneously, Harry, Ron and Hermione spat their drinks.

"-The Minster of Magic agreed the disastrous decline in wizarding population could not be targeted any other way. He proposed the law last night at the end of the Yearly Wizarding Conference, stating that he hopes all those 2 years out of education to be married."

Silence filled the air. The only one left smiling was Ginny.

"So-" Molly began, trying to restore the atmosphere before the outrageous news. "You kids better eat up," she gestured to the trio, "your last weekend of freedom before you buckle down for NEWTs. 5 months and counting, is it, eh? We should all go to the pub. Butterbeer's on me."

Hermione didn't look up from her cup. "I don't think I have the stomach, Mrs Weasley, but thank you. I think I'm just going to go for a walk."

"I can't make it either," Harry added, "I've got a ton of work to do for Monday, and Sirius wants to take me out to this old place he used to go to with my dad. I won't be back 'til late."

Remus looked up. "Not that rusty old barn he used to hide in, is it, Harry? Don't forget to bring a jacket or else you'll freeze."

"I dunno what it is, he won't say. He's been oddly mysterious about the whole thing." If Hermione was listening to that she would have turned her nose up at the comment about mystery - it never was something she particularly enjoyed or approved of. Why couldn't people just be up front to each other?

Remus' comment seemed to have done it. Everyone seemed to forget about the impending realisation they would all have to take part in unprepared, arranged marriages, as they began chatting about Sirius' unforthcoming attitude towards the barn.

Everyone except Hermione, of course.

* * *

She returned 5 hours later, tired, exhausted in fact, heavily breathing after her brisk walk, and went straight into the shower.

As she was getting dressed there was a knock at her door, and a head appeared.

"Ronald! I'm getting changed!" she shouted throwing the closest top she could find over her head.

"Sorry... I just... I think we need to talk," he began.

"About what?"

"The law."

"We have two years Ron, don't worry about it, we can make it work," she calmly began. "We're lucky, we have each other. If you stop ignoring me like a child and close you mouth when you chew, I'm sure everything will be fine." She laughed a little to tell him she didn't mean it hurtfully.

"Yeah ok," Ron replied mindlessly.


	2. Her

"Ronald! Ronald! Are you even listening to me?" Hermione bellowed mid-conversation.

Nothing.

She waved her wand and a shoe flew at his head.

"Wow, what was that for?" he cried across the room. This was the first time in a while that had he looked up from what he was doing.

"What was I just talking about?" she asked.

"Dunno, NEWTs probably. You won't shut up about 'em," he snapped.

"Probably?! Probably NEWTs? Is that the best you could come up with?" she spat bitterly.

"Well was I wrong?" he smirked.

"You clearly don't care about me, that's pretty clear," she said trying to change the conversation.

"Of course I care about you, I love you." Though his eyes were not on her, but the piece of paper he was holding.

"I," she smiled and looked sweetly up at him, "love-" she paused, noticing the parchment, breathing heavily in through her nostrils. "Ronald, what are you reading?"

"Oh, just some work," he replied unnervingly quickly.

"You haven't done a day's work in your life. I should know, I'm usually the one who does it for you," she grimaced.

He folded the note quickly and tucked it in his pocket. "NEWTs, eh?" was his attempt at lightening the mood, but Hermione was no fool.

"Can I see it, please?" Ron couldn't tell if her tight lips were due to politeness or rage.

Stuttering, while not removing his hand from the pocket he had ferociously stuffed it in, he grew more and more uncomfortable.

" _Accio_!"

"Hey, give that back!"

But it was too late; Hermione was the other side of the room, note in hand, and tears welling in eyes.

" ' _Thanks for a wonderful evening, and a fab night. Maybe my place next time? I know I'm a pointless romantic but maybe the Leaky Cauldron doesn't set the right mood. My love, 3 kisses_ ' what is the meaning of this?"

"It's not what it looks like," Ron jumped in. He knew that look; it meant someone was going to be hexed in their sleep.

"I most certainly hope not, because to me it looks like you've been playing me like a fool for a while now, Ronald, and I don't want to be a fool." Poison spat from her mouth with every word. "Who?" She was suddenly speaking quietly, but there was no reply. "Answer me, Weasley, give me a name, that's all I ask, who is it?"

Still not replying or daring to look in her eye, Ron turned to leave.

"Have it that way then, but believe me, I will find out who she is." Hermione's words in no way resembled her emotions. She sounded to the boy like a vicious, aggravated attacker, but if he had only looked up, he would have seen a tear roll down her left cheek. If he had only listened a little harder, he would have noticed how her voice cracked at the realisation of everything they ever had being a lie; being over in minutes.

POP! Disapparated and not planning on coming back, Hermione was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  I do my best to proof read each chapter but I'm usually writing at 2 in the morning so I apologise in advance.


	3. A Much Needed Break

The vast meadow of daisies that Hermione found herself in was calming, refreshing, but not habitable. She had only taken what she thought was a small nap, but woke up to a bright amber sunrise. Shuddering, she wrapped her cardigan tighter around her body. The grass had covered in her dew so she decided to climb the closest tree. It was nothing particularly high, just enough for her to have a perfect view of the sunrise.

_Nature, the perfect antidote to any problem,_ she thought.

Hours had passed and she realised she should probably head back to civilisation. Not before arguing with herself first of course.

_Must I? Are NEWTs really that important?_

_He's not worth it. I won't ruin my career over a boy. I'm better than that._

_Where can I even go? The burrow don't want me, mum and dad will ask waaaay too many question._

_Get over yourself Hermione, you better go now and get the best damn NEWTs in the history of NEWTs._

* * *

"Hermione, my dear, are you ok? You look a mess." It was Remus. As comforting as his words were, she really didn't want to have to explain everything.

"Went for a bit of a walk," she replied casually, hoping he didn't pursue this line of questioning.

"In that jacket? Didn't you freeze?" his concern appeared honest, so she felt bad having to brush him off.

"Can I borrow your shower and a change of clothes?" Her smile was that of someone with nothing more to lose.

"Of course, Hermione." He gestured to the left of him, directing her to the correct room. Though she often visited, this was usually only with Harry, and her visits were fairly brief.

The clothes Remus had found her were plain and ill fitting, but she didn't care, she had nothing else. It was one of Tonks' skirts, and an old dark grey top she assumed to be his.

Once she had come back down the stairs after a much-needed shower, she saw Remus had barely moved from his seat, reading a copy of the Daily Prophet. There was a steaming cup of coffee on the table, one in his hand that he was sipping on, an opened letter, and a few dusty books.

"Is something going on, Hermione? Take a seat, I made you a coffee." She did. "I also just received an owl from the burrow. It sound pretty hectic over there, I'm not surprised you left." Her face fell as he waved the open letter, and the same look of concern from earlier washed over him. "Oh no, I didn't mean that, I just mean…"

"It's ok. I know running away was childish; I just didn't know what else I should have done. I didn't know who I could talk to. Everyone I know would start taking sides and make it worse."

"You're safe here, you know," Remus interrupted.

"Yes," she smiled thankfully at her new host, "You are the only person I knew I could count on not to start a fight."

"So do you want to tell me what really went on?"

And she did.


	4. Thank You Remus

“So what do you think?” Hermione asked critically. 

“I think the Hogwarts train leaves early tomorrow morning and you are, in no universe that I have any power over, going to find yourself confronting a Weasley. I think you are one hell of a woman for not hexing him on the spot, and I think running away was the most mature thing you could have done in that situation.” Remus’ reply was exactly what she needed to hear.

“But what about the Ministry’s Marriage Law?” 

“Look at me, Hermione, you are not going to marry that arrogant, self-centred, cheating Weasley. I will marry you myself if that is the only other option.” The twinkle in his eye made her realise that he was serious. That was that then. She wouldn’t be marrying Ron.

“I don’t think I quite want to get in a fight with Tonks for you though,” she joked. “She’d be a little more invested than myself and I recon I would lose miserably.”

“That I don’t doubt,” Remus chuckled. “I’ll send an owl back to the burrow telling them you’re save but would prefer no visitors. You are welcome to stay until tomorrow if you want.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.”

* * *

“Where is she?” Ron shouted, as soon as the Floo powder had landed him at 12 Grimmauld Place.

“Can I help you with something?” Remus looked up, surprisingly sarcastic considering the situation. It was almost as if he was toying with Ron.

“I need to talk to her. I know she’s here. We got the owl.” His bloodshot eyes squinted with distaste.

“If you read it, Ron, you would know she doesn’t want any visitors. I'm sure that was made quite clear.” His witty tone was beginning to get under the skin of the boy attempting to barge round Remus. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” His words were stern and unforgiving, while his arm was blocking any entry to the hallway that would undoubtedly lead to the heart-broken girl.

Almost snarling, Ron took an angry breath, reached for his wand, and concurrently planned something foul in his mind.

Hermione was just reading her mauled copy of _Hogwarts: A History_ (the one she had lent to Tonks, endeavouring to convince her that it was truly wonderful) in an attempt to ground herself, when she heard a smash. She almost jumped out of the skin.

SMASH! This one was louder.

She slammed the book closed and eased the creaking bedroom door open, hoping to confirm Remus’ safety. Wand in hand, she peaked her nose around the corner. Empty.

Tiptoeing further forward, she did her best to avoid the squeaking floorboards.

_If that’s Ron, I swear by Merlin I WILL hex him!_

Something grabbed her from behind. She tried to squeal but a hand muffled her cries. It picked her up as she tried to shake herself free. It dragged her backwards into the room behind her.

“Shhh,” it said. She couldn’t recognise the voice. “Calm down, it’s me.”


	5. A Familiar Attacker

She spun free to face her attacker once they had reached the other side of the room. 

“Sirius? What in Merlin’s name do you think you’re doing?” she asked stubbornly.

“Shhh, keep your voice down,” he whispered, pulling her behind the bed.

“You better explain yourself, right now,” she said adopting his amplitude, as they crouched, their backs against the side of the bed.

“Ron’s up to something.” His eyes looked deeply into hers. “He tried to attack Remus while asking for your whereabouts. If something is going on downstairs, there is no way I'm going to let you get hurt.” His argument seemed valid but Hermione didn’t want to admit it.

“I can look after myself, you know.”

“I'm sure you can.”

Her tone changed, suddenly seeming comfortable with him. “But seriously, you don’t know the half of it. I'm not going to burden you with my problems. I'm sure you’ve got enough of your own.”

“What? Problems? You can never have too many problems,” he grinned cheekily. “Go on then,” he said, swinging his arms either side, nearly hitting the bed frame, “give me some of yours. I want to live the life of a problematic Granger. Lay it on me.”

“What about Remus? You can't just leave him on his own.”

“You don’t really think Ron has a chance against the great Remus Lupin, do you now?” He raised an eyebrow. “I think you’re just stalling.”

“Then why are we hiding behind a bed?”

“Better safe than sorry, eh?” The sheer cheek of his hypocrisy was somehow reassuring.

* * *

 A gentle tapping was heard on the other side of the wooden door, followed by Remus, who leaned around the partial opening, his eyes catching the top of her head. He opened the door fully and rested on the doorframe.

“He’s gone.” Remus’ heartening voice calmed her, allowing her to breath out heavily. “I'm gonna have to go too, Hermione. I promised Tonks I’d take her out before the new term starts. Sirius is around here somewhere, and I'm sure he’ll take care of you just fine.”

Hermione got up from behind the bed and turned to face him. “Thank you, Remus, for everything, but I can look after myself, you know.”

“I'm sure you can.” Muttered a mischievous voice from Hermione’s direction.

Hermione swung her arm at him, playfully hitting the side of his head. “Ow, was that really necessary?”

“Pads? And what exactly are you doing with Hermione behind that bed,” Remus sniggered. “Actually I’d rather not know. I’ve heard enough stories like that for a lifetime.”

“Does he usually abduct people, then?” asked Hermione, raising her eyebrows.

“Only on the weekends,” they chortled.

“You too’ll be careful I presume. Ron may be gone for now, but he could quite easily come back.”

“Of course, Moony. When am I not the height of cautiousness?”

“And where exactly is all the alcohol stored in this place?” Hermione added, once Remus had disapparated.


	6. A Drunken Mistake?

“If you really need to find someone, you know,” he cleared his throat, “you know I'm, er, single.” The last part almost seemed like a question.

Hermione giggled drunkenly. It had been a few hours since Remus left with Tonks. Consequently, Hermione decided alcohol was the answer. “Who are you?” She stumbled towards him. “The Sirius I know would never propose such an absurd idea.”

He led her back to her seat and sat down, a seat between them. “I'm sorry, love, I just don't like to see you so torn up.”

She leaned over towards him and tapped the chair between them, indicating to him that he should move up and close the gap. When he moved, he leaned over her, reaching forward. She breathed on his neck and smelled his cologne wash over her. He jumped back, bottle in hand.

“You gonna drink that?” He gestured to the half empty Jack Daniel’s he had just picked up and took a sip. “Save some for me, eh, love.”

His wink made her blush uncontrollably. No amount or makeup or intoxication could hide that. When he noticed what he had done, an unmistakable smirk grew across his face.

They spend most of that night joking and flirting, as they got more and more drunk.

* * *

Hermione woke to the sound of the shower going. She rolled over and got a flash under the covers.

 

_Dear Merlin_

_Where are my clothes?_

_Hermione Jean Granger, what in Merlin's name have you done?_

_What have you become?_

_Wait wait wait_

_What's the last thing I can remember?_

_We were just in the kitchen... Getting very drunk._

_But he smelt so good… I couldn't help myself._

_No Hermione, you're over reacting. You're jumping to conclusions. There is no proof you did anything. You don’t remember a damn thing._

 

The bathroom door creaked open.

“You alright, love?”

Sirius had a towel wrapped around his waist, and Hermione couldn't take her eyes off his chest. She examined the odd looking tattoos, the way scars curved around his sides. _Azkaban_ , she thought.

“Love?” Concern spread across his face, as she stayed frozen in the bed. Slowly, he began to walk round to her, perching on the side of the mattress.

“That depends what happened last night…” whispered out of her mouth.

“Not that, pet.” It was quick, sharp, and almost rehearsed. “You better get dressed. Take a shower if you want, too. I'll make breakfast.”

“Sirius.” He paused mid way through putting on his t-shirt and turned to face her. “Thank you.” The sincerity was so apparent in her voice that Sirius couldn’t bring himself to make a joke. “Thank you for not… I know I was too drunk to know what I was doing.”

"Breakfast. 10 minutes." He grinned, picked up his wand, and closed the door behind him.


	7. Morning After

She had no idea how much time had passed since his footsteps down the stairs were heard. Her breathing was heavy, nasal, and not looking like it was going to change anytime soon.

 

_Shower shower shower_

_I can do this. Ok let's just get out of bed._

_Underwear!_

_I'm wearing underwear! Thank Merlin._

_Is that a mirror?_

_Goodness, I didn't think I looked that bad._

_Shower, OK, in here._

_Ah, hot water, I need this._

_How long has it been?_

_I don't want to be late to breakfast._

_I'm looking forward to breakfast? I haven't done that in a while._

_I guess marrying him wouldn’t be that bad; I reckon I might actually be quite happy._

_HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER! STOP FANTASISING ABOUT MARRYING HARRY'S GODFATHER! YOU ARE IN HIS SHOWER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! YOU JUST WOKE UP IN HIS BED! DEAR MERLIN!_

_Ok, how do you turn this water off? Nope not that. This? No. Um, concessus? Hurrah._

_Towel towel towel_

_Yes, ok._

_Clothes? Shit. Um, I mean shoot._

_Oh who cares?_

_Considering what you did last night…_

_Wait what DID I do? Not now._

_Clothes clothes clothes_

_Are these mine? I don't think they're Sirius'._

_How the hippogriff did he get my underwear? But they were in my wardrobe at the burrow. Not now. Let's just get changed._

_I don't remember buying this top._

_Mmm… Is that…?_ She took a breath, absorbing the fibres of the t-shirt, _Sirius…_

_No, bad Hermione, go, he's waiting for you._

_Ooh, waiting for meeee._

_Stop it!_

_Less fantasising, more walking._

 

“You're late.” It was him.

* * *

 “And where have you been the last half hour? I was going to send a search party. You’re missing out on some spectacular pancakes.” He waved the spatula at her.

“You’re doing it wrong.” She wandered over to where he was standing, giggles escaping through her teeth, as she attempted to save the mess he had made.

“I’m glad you’re having fun.” Hermione whipped her head round to see Tonks’ smug face looking up from a copy of the Daily Prophet. Her cheeks began to burn as Tonks continued. “So what did you two get up to last night? Anything interesting that you would like to share with us perhaps?” Her head nodded in Remus’ direction.

“That’s not a question I need answered, thank you very much.” Remus corrected.

“Can't say I remember much.” Hermione slouched on the table with a coffee after discarding the fail pancakes. “I was a little too drunk to be thinking straight.” She scratched her head, “or thinking at all for that matter.”

“Goodness me, Hermione,” Sirius said, raising an eyebrow seductively, “anything could have happened.” This time the wink he sent in her direction was more friendly and supportive than it was flirtatious.

“I’ve heard that line before, Pads. Though last time you...”

“When’s the train leave?” Sirius interrupted, slightly more violently than he meant to. ANYTHING was necessary to stop his friend from finishing that sentence.

“Eleven. It’s left at eleven ever since 1849.” Tonks added.

Hermione looked up in shock. “You read _Hogwarts: A History_?”

“Most dull book I’ve ever read. I don’t know how you stand it. Though, to be honest, I think we make quite different choices in many fields.” She smirked.


	8. All Aboard The Hogwarts Express

Bring their arms up to check their watches, Hermione and Remus saw that they were on time.

10:30

They loaded their bags above their heads and sat down in an empty compartment. Remus had taken Hermione into the teachers' area at the front of the Hogwarts Express. He knew Ron was not a prefect, so had no reason to be anywhere near them. Once they had settled down, he looked up at her.

"So… Sirius?" He was genuinely curious.

"What about him?"

"I think we need to talk about him."

* * *

10:45

"We're going to be late!" Molly yelled as her children arranged themselves on the train station. "Only three of you left… I've been doing this for goodness knows how long, and no one has learnt to leave the house on time." Ginny was busy gawking at Harry as Ron walked into her.

"Move, you two," Ron aggravatedly added.

"You just want us to move so you can try to find Hermione. Well I will take my time, thank you very much," Ginny snapped.

* * *

"What about him?" Hermione repeated.

"You and him, my dear." Remus was getting more and more awkward as he tried to continue. Thankfully there was a knock on the cabin door. Remus flashed a look at the door and then back to her. Carefully raising his wand, he rose and opened the door.

"Severus? Can I help with something?" he asked, more confused than anything.

"Ah, Remus." It seemed the awkwardness was far from gone.

"Yes?"

"I saw Miss Granger in the teachers' area, and, I…" Snape was only making it worse for himself.

"You can continue your round of the train knowing that she is with me. She's not exactly one to break the rules, now, is she?" Remus added a polite nod and attempted to close the cabin door.

"Actually, Remus, I was… wanting to return a book to her."

"A book?" Remus was genuinely shocked by the lack of arguing that Snape provided. Instead, he was calm, almost smiling, and almost friendly.

"Yes."

Dubiously, Remus continued. "What book?"

" _Portland's Premonition Potion_ , I assume," Hermione breathed, sounding very fed up with Remus' paranoia. "Remus, he's clearly not with Ron so just let him in." She raised her eyebrows and Remus let him in. "What did you think of it?" She turned to face her potions professor, wide eyed. He perched on the seat next to her.

"Marvellous," he smiled at her, "but what is this I hear about a Weasley? Trouble in paradise? That can't be too convenient."

"Lay off, Severus," Remus interjected, "I think we've had our fair share of your spite."

"I'm not being spiteful. It's just that I saw Weasley and Potter scouring the train not a moment ago. So what's going on?" Snape knew he had some power over the situation and was using it to his advantage.

"That's a story for another day. Are you going to help me or not?" Hermione replied bluntly.

He got up, placing the book in his seat, and exited the cabin. Upon closing the door, he turned to Hermione, "I'll see what I can do," he smirked.


	9. Him

11:00

The Hogwarts Express left at 11 on the dot. All the students scrambled around each other looking for seats, buying sweets and joking around. Most were still in their muggle clothes, much to the disgust of a few pureblood families, but everyone was generally getting along. The chosen prefects and many teachers were marching up and down the train to make sure everything was in order.

Hermione stared down the hallway, peeking through a gap in the door. She was focused on Snape as he focused on the approaching Weasley.

“Can I help you with something, Weasley? This is the teachers’ section, so unless you plan on spending the rest of your schooling life in detention with me, I recommend you don’t enter.” He was cold, unnerving, and exactly what Ron was scared of. 

“You know where she is, don’t you? She’s in the restricted section, isn’t she? And you’re trying to hide her from me.” It was quite clear that he feared his professor, but that wasn’t going to stop him from answering back.

“And who might it be that we’re talking about then, Weasley?" 

“Er, Hermione,” he answered patronisingly.

“Is she not with you, then? I assumed she was _your_ girlfriend, not mine.” The sarcasm was bitter and his attitude was twisted. “If I see her I’ll tell her you were looking for her. Though I assume, as a prefect, she is somewhere on her rounds of the train, and won’t be heading in this direction anytime soon.”

“Screw you, Snape. You're just a…” Ron paused, considering the consequences of painful potions lessons for the next few months if he finished that sentence.

“I didn’t quite catch that, Weasley, what did you call me, exactly?” Snape towered over him, causing him to turn and sulk off back to Harry with a shrug.

When they were out of sight, Snape looked back at the cabin containing a frightened girl. Distaste was obvious when he had seen that she was watching the whole time, but that didn’t stop him from giving her the most comforting and almost unnoticeable nod.

She looked back at the teacher she was sitting opposite. “He’s gone, and I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“Then I think we need to get back to our previous conversation,” Remus said, sternly.

* * *

A few minutes of Hermione trying to change the conversation had passed. They covered a range of topic from the weather to Tonks’ wardrobe. Finally, Remus looked up seriously. 

“What exactly happened last night?” Hermione knew they would be on the train for a fair few more hours so couldn’t avoid the question forever.

“I don’t remember that much at all,” she answered honestly. “Once you left I got very, very drunk. Sirius joined me for a bit. We joked around a bit. At one point he told me he was single and I…”

“…thought about?”

“I don’t know what I thought. I was too drunk to be thinking. I was lonely, and he smelt so damn good. Then the next thing I know I wake up the following morning in his bed.”

Remus smirked. “I’ve definitely heard that before.”

She put her head in her hands. “Why do I feel like this?”

“My dear, I think you’ve fallen for Sirius Black.” He moved round to sit next to her. She rested on his torso and they spent the rest of the journey chatting about the man she realised she wanted more than anything in the world.


	10. Friends?

The train got all the students to Hogwarts by dusk. They piled off the train in great numbers. A mass of cloaks and bags swarmed the school. Harry, Ron and Ginny among them. But not Hermione. She was nowhere to be seen. Not by Ron, not by anyone.

* * *

"I think we're at Hogwarts now, Hermione," Remus whispered sleepily to the roused girl resting on him. She moved slowly off of him and stretched her arms out, trying to wake herself up.

"Sorry about falling asleep on you. You're a lot more comfortable than you look," she smiled.

"Our little secret, eh?" he chuckled, sitting up, fixing his clothes and hair. "We should probably not move for the next few minutes though. Ron could quite easily be outside. You may have to face him at some point, but not today."

"Nice thinking," Hermione complimented, and moved her hand away from the compartment door, "why didn't I think of that?" Her constant need to be the smartest was annoying to most, but to Remus, he only ever took comments like these as praise.

Sitting down again, opposite to him, she could hear all the students making their way off the train through the half open window. She crossed her legs and picked up the book Snape had left her.

"So what's going on with that book, then?" Remus asked politely.

"I think you've heard enough of my secrets for a lifetime," she giggled. "You also probably wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me," he said solemnly, "I haven't doubted you yet, have I?"

"We're friends, Severus and I," she began. If Remus had a drink he would have spat it violently out.

"You're... friends?" he asked cautiously.

"See! I told you that you wouldn't believe me," she argued.

"Ok then, I believe you. You and Snape hang out at the weekends, go shopping, have sleepovers, braid each other's hair..." His sniggers grew to the point that he couldn't finish talking.

"Not like that. I've always been his best student. I meet his sometimes after dinner and we design potions. I'm one of the only people that can get anywhere close to matching him."

"Potions, eh? Is that all you two do? Because he's single too, you know."

She nearly threw the book at his head with that statement. "I am NOT shagging him!" she shouted, much louder than she probably should. If anyone were around they would definitely have heard. Thankfully, all the students were far from the train.

"On y va?" He got up, offering his hand to her. "I think it's safe to go now." She politely took his hand. "And if it's not, then whoever  _is_  around will most certainly know by now that you're not shagging your teacher," he muttered.

Remus got their luggage down from the overhead compartment and they walked through the front gates of the school, arms around each other.


	11. You

It was dark when they reached the front of the school, but they could see that further down the Great Hall was well lit, as it contained most of the school. When Remus realised anyone who looked out of the hall would see them arm in arm, he shielded Hermione and turned quickly down the closest corridor. They followed a strange route up to her dormitory and were greeted by the Fat Lady, who, as always, asked for the password. 

"He could be in the common room." Hermione stopped just as she was about to give the password. "Do you mind if I stay with you?"

"Of course not." Remus led the frightened girl away from the portrait and towards his office. When they got to his room, she laid her stuff at the furthest side, near a chair that she was planning to sleep on.

"Don't be ridiculous, you can't sleep on that. Take my bed, I'll take the chair," Remus graciously proposed.

Equally politely, she declined. "No, but thanks, I've had much worse. I'm not going to deprive you of your bed. Besides, I've got enough bad memories as it is waking up in Marauders' beds."

"Hey, I heard that!" It was Sirius. His head appeared through the fireplace and was pouting at her. More than anything, it made her blush.

* * *

"It's not just me, is it? I'm not paranoid, am I, Harry?" Ron nudged his best friend as they sat enjoying the banquet before them.

"I'm worried about her," Ginny added. "She wasn't on the train and she's not at dinner. I hope she is ok. What did you say to her Ron?"

"Nothing. She didn't want to talk to me yesterday and Lupin wouldn't let me see her."

"No, I mean before that. You must have said or done something to make her want to run away." Ginny huddled up to her boyfriend, rubbing his shoulder as she talked to her brother in front of him.

"I didn't say or do anything wrong," Ron lied. "I reckon she just can't deal with the laws or something. Got too overwhelmed and made a run for it."

"I feel bad for her. If she's not ready to marry, it could really put a strain on your relationship." Ginny snuggled up further to Harry. "She probably just needs some time to deal. She wouldn't miss exams for the world."

"I guess," Harry tried to reassure her, "this is Hermione we're talking about."

* * *

Remus really didn't want to get caught in the middle of anything so went to the kitchen to get some food. In the mean time, Sirius and Hermione began chatting again. She crouched by the fireplace, leading on the frame.

"How was the train journey?" he asked, curious as to whether her ex decided to make an appearance.

"Thankfully the teachers' section was much quieter and ex-free than I expected."

"So what did you do the whole time? You can't have just read, I know for a fact Remus would have been bored out of his mind."

"We talked."

"About?"

She blushed. "You."

"And what exactly about me were you so intrigued by that you talked for hours on end?"

"Not telling," she murmured friskily.

"That bad, eh?" he snickered, equally as playfully. "You didn't happen to mention the offer I proposed yesterday?"

"Might have..."

"So you thought about it?"

"Of course. It's not something that can be easily forgotten."

"And what exactly were your thoughts?" Though his questions were getting more intrusive, Hermione far from minded.

"Well..." she began.


	12. My Woman

“Well, firstly I thought it was a preposterous idea, you’re Harry’s godfather and it would be terribly wrong.”

“Then what happened? Because it doesn’t look like you think that anymore,” he toyed. If her cheeks were not already rosy from the heat of the fireplace, they certainly were now. “Do you just want to spend all day staring at my chest after a shower and smelling my clothes?”

She turned, standing to face him, giving him the most shocked face she owned, and releasing the corner of his t-shirt that she had been mindlessly fondling. She brought the neck of the top to her nose and breathed in heavily. “It doesn’t even smell that much like you anymore.”

“So you do pay attention to what I smells like then?” His charm worked like a treat on the innocent girl. “What does it smell like instead?”

She looked up, “um, Remus?”

“Remus? Why him?”

“Why me what?” As if he couldn’t have found a worse time to intrude on their conversation, he entered as soon as they had begun talking about him. “Why me what?” he repeated, handing Hermione a wrap (he knew she wouldn’t eat anything heavy).

“Moony! What have you been getting up to with my woman?” he joked, throwing a disapproving look towards his friend.

“ _Your_ woman? You don’t have a woman” he replied hastily, returning the disapproving glare. 

“Actually, I do.” He paused to look at Hermione. “Don’t I?”

“M-me?” she stuttered, nearly choking on her dinner.

“Oh,” Remus saw the opportunity and took it, “I don’t think I’m the professor she’s interested in, Pads. She’s more fond of a…”

The man in the fireplace cut him short. “Lay off, Rems. I don’t see her in Binns’ office; she didn’t take the train with Flitwick; she doesn’t smell like Snape. She’s in your company and smells like you.”

“Well actually,” Remus countered, “she’s still wearing _your_ top.”

“ _She!_ ” Hermione butted in, “ _she_ is in this room, and would prefer not to be referred to in the third person!”

“Sorry, love,” Sirius discarded any grudge he was holding against the other man in the room, and looked into her eyes. “You think some more about it then.” He gave one of his seductive winks.

Before she had the chance to respond, he was gone. “I don’t need to,” she muttered to herself, “I don’t need to.”

* * *

The chair was more uncomfortable than she had suspected. Even after transfiguring it into a sofa, she still couldn’t relax. She partially wished she had accepted the offer of Remus’ bed, but another part of her was thankful she didn’t make him sleep so poorly. She had imposed enough in his life. 

Sirius clouded her dreams. Her mind wanted it to be real to such an extent that she thought she could even feel his warmth embracing her.

When she woke, however, she was alone.

She silently grabbed her robes, aiming not to wake her roommate, and headed for the shower.

 

_Just a dream, Hermione, I don’t know what you were thinking._

_There is no way he actually called you ‘his woman’._

_I don’t want to be ‘his woman’. I'm not an object. I have feelings too, you know._

_Yes you do, Hermione, feelings for him._

_What am I saying?_

_Just get dressed._

_What about his top?_

_It still smells like him._

_Wait, WHAT!_

_How is that possible?_

_It was just a dream; he can't have actually been on that sofa with me._

_Dear Merlin, is that black dog hair? How did that get on the top?_

_We need to have a serious conversation!_


	13. The Book

7:00 

“You're up early,” Remus groaned at her. He had just woken up to his owl delivering a note from Tonks, while Hermione was dressed and ready, engrossed in a book.

“Hmm…” She nodded her morning greetings in his direction, not taking her eyes off the book. “Didn’t sleep well.”

“Whatcha reading? Not that book Snape gave you?”

She scribbled something in the margin of the hardback with her quill. “Harry’s been getting better grades than me in potions ever since he got Snape’s old textbook. I won’t let him get better NEWTs than me.” Stubborn was most certainly her middle name, but Remus just laughed.

“ _ostensus_ ,” he waved his wand at the book. He had now realised what was going on. _Portland’s Premonition Potions_ was just a cover. Snape had been helping Hermione edit her _Advanced Potion Making_ textbook to be just like his. The yellow of the Portland’s cover began to turn the dark shade of purple he was expecting, then suddenly began to fade into a maroon.

“ _Super Advanced Potion Making?_ Well I wasn’t expecting that. Severus truly spoils you.” The impish grin he gave her reminded of her of the man that joined her in her sleep, causing her to blush.

“Shut up, Remus!” she said, storming out of the room, heading towards her potions professor’s quarters, unable to contain her laughter.

“Where do you think your going?” He raised a rascally eyebrow.

“I don’t think I'm quite ready to face the Great Hall, I'm going to camp out in a friend’s office. The only place I know they won’t look.” Waving with one hand, and books in the other, she turned from walking backwards to marching down the hallway.

* * *

She made her way to the dungeons, constantly vigilant of the possible Gryffindor ambush.

 _Ron wouldn’t be awake this early in the morning_ , she reassured herself.

Knock knock

“Who is it?” An impatient and snobbish voice bellowed from the other side of the door, followed by footsteps that slowly got closer. Sharply, the door swung open.

“Ah, Miss Granger, it’s a bit early, isn’t it?” He checked his watch. “Can I help you with something?”

“I was hoping you could help me with a potion I was reading about,” she stated politely.

Extending the opening of the door, inviting her in, he added, “insufferable, as usual I see, Granger.” Once the door closed, he immediately shed the stern outer shell he had been wearing in the outside world. “What’s going on, Hermione?” It was much more caring than he had ever been to anyone else lately – probably even rivalling his treatment of Lily. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on with Ron or are you just expecting me to follow you? I trust you, but I'm not a fool. I'm not going to do anything without understanding the circumstances. I made that mistake with certain Dark Lord and look where I am now.”

“We’re not seeing each other anymore. He seems to have found someone else.” Refusing to let the welling tears escape her eyes, she looked up to him, presenting a sore smile. “I guess you could say the new relationship overlapped with mine.”

“How long had it been going on?”

“I don’t know… a while, I assume. I presume I intercepted one of many letters.”

“And I suppose you want to sit as far away from him as possible in lessons without raising too much suspicion?” He gave her a sensitive smile.

“Suspicion? I don’t care about his reputation. It can be destroyed for all I care. I just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t have to be brewing with him. Merlin help me, I'd slip Moonseed into his snacks.” Thankfully the conversation began to get more light-hearted from there. She stayed in his office until lessons started, but sneaking to the library of course at 9, so no one asked why she was in class before them.


	14. Rebound

When she arrived in the dungeons for the second time this morning, she was surrounding by a bustle of student’s chatter. She took her usually seat, awaiting her friend to offer his aid in the situation. Nothing 

_He couldn’t have forgotten. We agreed a few hours ago. He’s not even looking at me._

_Dear Merlin, it’s Ron!_

Ron and Harry took seats either side of her, almost squashing her on the bench.

“So,” Harry began, completely unaware of the situation around him, “I read this great thing in my textbook - a sort of side note, if you will. Basically it said that with the NEWTs, unlike OWLs, ‘cause of the fact less people take-” 

“Potter, I am trying to teach a lesson. I understand your grades are doing just fine, but there are other people in this room who will almost undoubtedly fail without paying attention.” Snape shot a fierce look at Ron, making him tremble. “Miss Parkinson, will you please stop flirting with Malfoy, this is a classroom not a mating arena.”

Hermione began to panic. She couldn’t deal with this, with Ron. She was trying to get up to run away but he was sitting on her robes. Struggling, she couldn’t free herself. How could Snape betray her? She trusted him.

“Miss Parkinson!” the professor thundered. “What exactly do you think you are doing? Miss Granger! Switch places with Miss Parkinson before she becomes completely incapable of conceiving anything that isn’t Mr Malfoy’s children.” Quiet giggles were heard from the corners of the room. Snape let a small smirk slip in her direction, along with a nod. They were unrecognisably minuscule to anyone accept her. She was irrefutably thankful.

* * *

“You and Pansy, eh, Malfoy?” The newly cheerful Hermione sniggered at her new potions partner.

“She’s not my type,” Draco replied grimly, “I prefer someone who can tell their fingers from their thumbs. Such a shame you’re a m-,” he paused, biting his tongue, “muggle-born.” He grimaced. “With a little more pure-blood heritage you’d be just fine.”

“You’re such a cockroach, Malfoy.”

“What’s happening with you and the blood traitors then? Gonna get married?” His frank interest alarmed her.

“What is it to you?”

“So you’re not? Aren’t you two even together?”

“Again. What is it to you?”

“Granger, well I never.” he toyed, clearly taking the opportunity to torment her. “I thought you’d be living happy families with the Weasleys. Have 12 gingers of your own, second hand-” he stopped when he noticed the welling in her eyes.

“You loathsome boy,” she spat bitterly, making sure she wasn’t heard by the people around her, “he found someone else probably months ago and didn’t have the courtesy to tell me.” Her eyes were bloodshot and it scared Draco. “Now I have two years to deal with that, hex the bitch, sort out all of my own problems, find someone new, and marry them. I wouldn’t quite say that that’s happy families, would you?”

“I'm sorry,” he spluttered.

“No,” she rested a hand on his shoulder, fixing their potion, “I'm sorry, I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. At the moment, I actually dislike you less than him. And that is saying something,” she smirked. Pinching a few strands of lemongrass out of the cauldron (there was clearly too much), she ducted behind him as it spat sparks. Cautiously, she nosed back in the cauldron. It seemed to have settled.

“You’re touching me, Granger. Snape’s going to kill you if he sees,” Draco pointed out, as Snape began to approach their desk at the back of the room.

“If that’s the only objection you have to me touching you, then let him,” she whispered, as she nuzzled herself into his neck. She also knew that every few minutes Ron and Harry would look over them. She didn’t care. She lost all shame when Ron played her for a fool. Now it was about bringing him down with her.

“Granger! Malfoy! See me at the end of class!”


	15. An Unlikely Friendship

“I expected better from you, Malfoy.” Snape wasn’t even emotionally invested into the scolding enough to look at him. Instead he was sifting through paperwork. 

“Actually,” Hermione butted in, “it wasn’t his fault.”

“Actually, Miss Granger,” Snape copied her in a mocking tone, “I don’t care whose fault it was. It will not happen in my classroom. Is that clear?”

“Yeah, whatever, sir,” Draco replied, heading for the door, “you coming, Granger?” Wide eyed, Hermione looked back at him in scepticism. Draco was holding the door open for her, waiting impatiently. “I'm not waiting all day,” he called at her. She picked up her books and left via the door he offered her.

Once they were out of sight of their teacher, Draco leaned into her, whispering, “what the hell did you think you were doing? You're lucky Snape didn’t have you in detention for the rest of the year. You should have just let him think it was me. He’s never put a Slytherin in detention before.”

“Trust me, Draco, Snape’s not going to put me in detention. We’re going to be late for Transfigurations as it is, I need to get my books. You want to join me?”

He raised his eyebrows. “I'm not going anywhere near the Gryffindor common room. Are you completely insane? I’ll be mauled to death.”

“So would I. My books are in Lupin’s office.”

* * *

“Ah, Miss Granger,” McGonagall stated, sounding rather pissed off that her lesson was disturbed, “you finally decided to join us. And you come baring Mr Malfoy I see. Sit down.”

“It was my fault, Professor,” Draco began, “Professor Snape kept us behind because I was messing around.” He gave a subtitle wink to Hermione, mouthing ‘I owe you one’.

“Very well, Malfoy, but no funny business in my classroom.” She returned to teaching her lesson. “As I was saying, I cannot yet reveal what your exam will consist of, however, I can tell you that you will be asked to transfigure a foreign object. One you will not have had any contact with before. You will be tested on accuracy, quality, and power. It is pointless transfiguring a rabbit if it is can't hop, so you shouldn’t try anything you know cannot achieve. Regardless, I expect maximum effort and no slacking. That includes you, Malfoy.” He was too busy ruffling something in his bag to notice the entire class staring at him. When he did, however, he turned a dark maroon. Empathetically, Hermione noticed how embarrassed he was. It wasn’t fair that he had to feel that way. She was the reason he was late, and after everything, he took the blame.

“ignarus,” she whispered under her breath, causing everyone who was previously staring to turn back to what they were doing. Only Professor McGonagall continued to stare.

* * *

At the end of the lesson, as people began to file out of the classroom, Hermione and Draco were asked to stay behind.

“We’re making quite a habit of this, aren’t we, Granger?” the Slytherin smirked.

“What exactly do you think you two are doing?” McGonagall was deadly serious. “I don’t think you realise the severity of the new marriage laws. You can't afford to be tittering around with each other, arriving late to lessons, using possessing charms on other students.” That one was aimed at Hermione. “If nothing else, your grades will plummet. You of all people, Hermione, should know how important they are. And Draco, what would your father say?”

“Actually, I don’t care.” Hermione began. “Not about my grades, not anything. All that’s left of Voldemort is the crooked Ministry of Magic. I don’t want to work somewhere that he has corrupted – not even in the name of SPEW.” She paused, reassessing what she had said to be not quite true. "Well, actually my grades  _are_  important to change the lives of house elves, but I don't see how Malfoy is affecting them."

“I don’t care, either.” Draco continued. “It’s not like I’m marrying Hermione tomorrow. We’re just friends, something that would have probably been quite useful a few years ago, but I make do. I’m probably better for her at the moment than Potter or that slimy Weasley. My father will most definitely disapprove. He will undoubtedly have me engaged by the end of the week to a pureblood, but I don’t care. I'm always going to stick with my friend.”

“Well then,” the poor witch stood, speechless, “I guess there is nothing I can do. And I suppose, as there is nothing more than a friendship, I can't technically object.” She paused, unaware as to what to say next. “May I ask you what happened with Ronald Weasley?”

“He’s been, um, seeing someone else, um, and, um…” Hermione was lost for words. How could she put this to her professor in an appropriate way?

Draco, on the other hand, cared little for formality. “He’s a cheating git and she doesn’t want anything to do with the ghastly slime ball. Now if you don’t mind, Professor, I would very much like a chance to go to lunch; I'm starving.”


	16. Lunch

“Sit over here, Granger.” She was ushered towards the Slytherin table, passed a horrified Ginny. “I don’t think sitting with them would be very wise.” His arm was firmly around her shoulder, leading her to a seat next to him.

“Nor is sitting at this table surrounded by a load of blood supremacists.” She spoke at a whisper, so they didn’t hear.

“Common ground, Granger. You may not have the most appropriate heritage, but you hate Weasley enough to fit in around here.” He raised his voice for everyone to hear the last part of that sentence.

“You hate Weasley? So you ain’t marrying him?” one of Malfoy’s followers piped up.

_This is my chance. Common ground, here we go…_

“That grimy ginger? Are you crazy? Why would I want to marry someone like him? He’s the most irresponsible bastard I know.”

“Yeah, but you’re a mudblood, what ya doing at our table?” another asked, only to be interrupted by their leader.

“She’s with us now, so watch your language.”

“With _us_? You mean with _you_?”

“No, if she’s with me, she’s with all of us. We look after her, stand up for her.” Hermione blushed at how much Draco cared, though she was unsure if he was actually doing it out of genuine fondness for her. It seemed to most that he was just doing it to spite the Gryffindor table.

“But why?” the same follower butted in, only to be further interrupted, by Hermione this time.

“You’re in my Ancient Runes class, I can help you with your translations. I always see Professor Babbling picking on you, and I have an, um, interesting idea." A slow but twisted smile grew across his face.

“She can stay,” he proclaimed to the rest of the group.

Draco hadn’t taken his arm off her shoulder since they left Transfigurations, so Hermione was very close – probably too close for comfort. It was getting too much for her. Overwhelmed by the group of boys surrounding her, who were cackling as an unfortunate 2nd year dropped his books, she spun free from Draco’s grip and headed for the door.

All eyes were on her. Slytherins were already watching her every move at their table. Gryffindors were whispering between each other, subtly pointing at Harry and Ron. Three pairs of eyes at the teachers’ table shot in her direction. Snape looked angry, McGonagall seemed disappointed, and Lupin was concerned.

“Granger!” The measly boy called, chasing after her.

* * *

The library was calm, quiet, peaceful.

_Breathe_

_Breathe, woman, breathe!_

_Hyperventilating won’t solve any problems_

“I’m… sorry." A soft voice came through a bookshelf. She could only see his deep blue eyes. “I didn’t mean to make you…” he peeked around the corner of the shelf “…feel like you had to run away…I just…I was just trying to get them to like you.” He was now standing a few metres away, with big, lost puppy eyes. “I understand now that you don’t want that. I’ll leave you alone from now on. Besides, Weasley was only looking at you every few seconds. But I'm sure you can find other ways to spite him.”

“You’re going to be late for your lesson.”

“I’ve got a free afternoon. Just like you.”

“Then you should know this. It wasn’t that I was trying to spite Weasley, well, it was to begin with, but that changed. I actually wanted to be your friend. You just had your arm… it was just all too much. I do want them to like me, but not at the expense of losing who I am. I just-”

“You’re rambling.”

“What?”

“You’re rambling. I get it. I'm irresistible,” he joked. “Now you wanna go to my common room and study with me or what?”

“Can we drop by at Lupin’s office first? I need to pick some stuff up first.”

“Sure.”


	17. Is He Cute?

"Does Lupin not mind you sneaking around his office when he's out?" Draco asked, constantly checking there was no one behind him.

"I'm not sneaking, I slept here last night. I just need to pick some stuff up. It's not exactly like I'm going to be heading to the Gryffindor tower anytime soon, so-"

"Rambling again, Granger," he smirked. "Where are you going?"

She was about to open the door to Remus' bedroom. "You don't have to follow me if you don't want to. I left my stuff in his room." Her hand rested on the door handle, as she applied pressure, and leaned into the room.

"You and Malfoy, eh?" a familiar voice sassed from her teacher's bedroom. "Can't say I was expecting that."

"Goodness, rumours spread fast, Sirius. May I ask what you are doing here?"

"It was the talk of the Gryffindor common room, I had to see for myself, and I guess it's true." He was standing, hidden by a bedpost, drink in hand.

"You spoke to Harry?"

"He's worried about you."

"As he should be." She picked up what she had been searching for, and began heading out of the room. "Look after yourself," she said, "because goodness knows no one else will these days." With that, she closed the door behind her. "Come on, Draco, let's go, before anyone sees us."

But it was too late. "Is he cute?" a voice called from behind the wall. The door then opened a crack. It was still too dark to see his face still, but Hermione knew Sirius' voice. "The Malfoy boy, is he cute?"

"I think, if we were to be discussing anything right now, we have slightly more pressing issues to discuss." She turned from the direction she was walking with Draco to approach him instead. "Like how it is possible to sneak into Hogwarts in the middle of the night completely unnoticed. Or how impolite it is to just disappear without saying 'goodbye'. Or 'hello' for that matter. Perhaps we should also be discussing personal space."

"No idea what you're talking about," he muttered, biting his lip. "Like I was saying, on a scale of not at all cute to the height of all cute, whereabouts does he fit in? Out of ten, perhaps?"

"You're rambling, sweetie," she smirked, knowing full well that Draco could hear them.

"What, no I'm not. You just haven't answered my question."

"No one's as adorable as you, if that's what you're asking," she smiled, lifting a hand from her pocket, cupping his face in her right hand. "And before you ask what you're about to ask: citrus. He smells like citrus."

* * *

As usual, Remus found the most inappropriate time to walk in on her conversations. "Ah, Malfoy, what are you doing here? Can I help you with something?"

"No," he said, not taking his eyes of Hermione, "just waiting for Hermione."

Remus didn't plan on trying to explain away what was going on in front of Draco, so joined him in leading on the door frame. "uhum, Pads, Hermione."

Hermione's hand whipped down, from Sirius' face as she spun round to find two men staring at her. "I, um, was, um, just leaving." But she couldn't. The doorway was blocked. "I just had to pick a few things up," she began, as she turned more and more crimson. "We'll be off now. I've got a lot of work to do."

Remus nodded, moving out of the doorway, allowing her through. When she looked back, she saw Sirius' smug face, as he gave her a presumptuous wink. One she audaciously returned.


	18. Sacred 28

"So," Draco prompted, once they were enveloped in the closed drapes of his bed. Though they were alone in the dungeons, it seemed necessary to create another layer between them and the outside world. "He's the new guy in your life, eh, Granger?"

She was sitting cross-legged at the base of the bed, scribbling in her favourite quill, as she rushed to make a note before she forgot it. "Yep, though promise me you won't tell anyone? It's not exactly official."

"Of course."

"What about you, if not Pansy, then who?"

Draco's face dropped from a chirpy boy to a suddenly serious man. "My father sent me an owl at lunch. He says Daphne Greengrass has got a younger sister. I have to meet her family this weekend for a proposal."

Concern spilt across her eyebrows. "Oh, I'm sorry. It's my fault, isn't it? He doesn't want me near you."

"It was bound to happen. Her father has some great position at the ministry."

"And I assume she's a pureblood?"

"The purist. Sacred 28."

"What's a Sacred 28?"

"Haha," he was back to the Draco she entered the room with. "The Sacred 28 are the only 28 pureblood families left in Britain. Abbott, Avery, Black, Bulstrode, Burke, Carrow, Crouch, Fawley, Flint, Gaunt, Greengrass, Lestrange, Longbottom, Macmillan, Malfoy, Nott, Ollivander, Parkinson, Prewett, Rosier, Rowle, Selwyn, Shacklebolt, Shafiq, Slughorn, Travers, Weasley, Yaxley. Someone hasn't been doing their homework, Granger. I expected better."

"You must be the only one paying attention in Binns' lessons," she chortled.

"I've had to do some research. You know, to find an eligible girl. My father also sent me a list of things I need to do ready for Saturday. There is this whole ritual that purebloods have to do with rings or something." He got the letter out of his pocket, followed by a ring. " _We all have a right of passage, son_ " he read in a monotone, mocking voice, " _it is time you were to marry, and your mother and I believe Miss Greengrass would be suitable. Upon meeting her this weekend, you will dine alone, and present her with the enclosed ring. It is a priceless family heirloom, so you will not lose it. If it were to fall into the wrong hands, such as those less pure, the shame on the family would be vast. I trust you know that._ That last bit was aimed at you."

"Can I see it?" she asked curiously.

The boy held out a bold, metallic ring with a 'M' inscribed in italics. "Don't touch it though. It could quite possibly be warded against you." As she studied it, she noted delicate engravings all around the sides. If it weren't so worn out or intolerant to her, she might have actually thought it was rather pretty. "What are you smiling at?"

"Everything makes a little more sense now."

"What are you talking about, Granger? Have you gone completely insane?"

"Quite possibly." She was practically glowing.

"But you're not going to tell me why?"

"What else do you know about marriage outside of the Sacred 28?" She beamed, pulling her hand out of her pocket, revealing a similar looking ring.

"If I were to ever present a ring like this to a muggle-born I reckon my father would...I mean, if any of us were to ask for the hand of someone not...especially with a ring like this...they would be spitting in the face of everyone who stands for-" He noticed the ring. "DEAR MERLIN, GRANGER! Where did you get that from?!" Grabbing her hand, he pulled her towards him. " _HOUSE OF BLACK!_ " He read. "WHAT?"

"Keep your voice down. People will be coming back from lessons anytime soon."

"You better tell me everything, Granger. Every. Damn. Thing!" he demanded, somewhere between shocked, alarmed and horrified.

 


	19. What Really Happened

Draco lay perpendicular to both Hermione and the bed, looking up at the curtain seams. Hermione was resting her head on his stomach as she recounted everything that happened. She held her left hand up, allowing him to examine it as she spoke.

"The man hiding in Lupin's office was actually Sirius Black. He heard from Harry that we were hanging out and came over to investigate. Long story short: we'd got drunk one night and he told me he was single. I thought he was joking but he kept bringing it up. I thought he was playing a practical joke on me, or something, 'cause he'd worked out I like him. When I saw him today though, he didn't seem like he was joking. I don't think I had ever seen him that nervous before. What you didn't hear from our conversation was most adorable speech he gave me..."

* * *

"We could elope, you know. We could go right now, we'd be married by the afternoon." Sirius gazed deep into her eyes.

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm as sober and sane as you." He leaned in resting his forehead on hers. 

"I haven't even agreed to go out with you yet and you're already planing our wedding?"

"Yet...," he smirked. "I realised something today. I care about you more than I am willing to admit. I was actually rather jealous when I heard rumours about you and Malfoy. That's never happened to me before; I don't get jealous. I'm  _Sirius Fricking Black_. That night at Grimmauld Place, you made me see something. I've spent so long just going through the motions, not living my life, just surviving. Drinking just made everything easier to tolerate. You made me realise living your life is possible. Though nothing happened between us, I feel like I woke up a new man. I was alive, because of what you did to me."

"But I didn't do anything."

"You did everything. You treat me like a man; like an equal. You don't judge my past. You see me as my present. I don't want to spend another second away from you. I don't want to go back to what I was. I want to be whole. I want to be yours. If you'll take me, that is?"

"uhum, Pads, Hermione."

* * *

"I wish I cared that much for someone, Granger." Draco was both melancholy with his own life and happy for her. "I guess he slipped the ring on your finger then?"

"I actually didn't notice until he winked at me as we left," she bit her nail. "Do you think I've done the right thing?"

"Right thing? No. The right thing would never be to marry a Sacred 28 who is at least 20 years older than you. But am I going to stop you? No. And do I support you? Absolutely."

There was a rustling underneath one side of the drapes. Then the nose of a giant dog appeared. No, it was a hellhound.

* * *

The Slytherin common room was dark and dingy, with doors at either end to each dormitory. The last lesson of the day had just finished, so one after the other, people filed into the dungeons. The deafening noise could be heard from the dormitory Hermione was in. Crabbe and Goyle had just entered the boys' dorm. 

"Crabbe, I don't think we should be here, look." He pointed at Draco's bed. Two silhouettes were visible through the curtain, along with a great deal of chuckling. "If we get in the way of him and Granger..."

"Good thinking, let's get out of here."

When they returned, however, the clamour of the common room was gone. Everyone was huddled at the corners of the room, mute. When they too looked up, they saw a great dog, growling, ready to attack at any moment. But it didn't. Instead it moved slowly in the direction of the boys' dorm.

Goyle hit Crabbe hard in the stomach. "Draco's in there," he said. "What are we going to do?"

"He was the one trying to summon hellhounds the other day. I guess it backfired, but it's his problem, not ours."

At that moment, a petrified 2nd year, who had managed to shuffle out of view of the animal, ran out of the dungeons, screaming to alert the surrounding teachers.

* * *

Draco jumped up on the bed and backed away until his body rested against the headboard. The hound's nose became a snarling face. "No sudden movements, Granger, move towards me, slowly." He opened his arms gently to catch her. Hermione looked up gradually from her book to find herself confronted by a giant, angry hound. There was less than a centimetre between their faces. Frozen in her place, with a deadly animal crawling on top of her, she gulped, closing her eyes and taking in what she thought was her last breath.

* * *

Snape burst in through the corridor, wand in hand, followed by a row of teachers. "Where is it?" 

"Boys dorm," a whimpering girl called out, as she hugged her friend, "it's got Draco."

"And Hermione," Goyle added, solemnly.

"It's too late," she same girl continued to cry, "we could hear them talking before, but now," tears streamed down her face, "it's quiet."

Remus grabbed the wall to his left, stabilising himself after what he had just heard. He had only just seen her a few hours ago.

"Pull yourself together, Miss Parkinson," Snape snapped at the girl. "Hermione?" His voice became soft, as he looked to Goyle. "What's she doing in the boys' dorm?"

"Now is not the time, Severus." McGonagall took control of the situation, as the other teachers were clearly in no state to do so. She eased the door open calmly, followed by Lupin and Snape. Gasping, the teachers saw the silhouette of the creature, on all fours, leaning over a student. "Dear Merlin, Hermione, I'm so sorry," McGonagall muttered. Draco's feet hung lifelessly of the side of the bed. "We're too late."

Remus, however, was less sullen. His gasp was one of joy. He was almost crying with elation.

* * *

"Sirius?" Hermione opened an eye, puzzled, but also intensely relieved. The dog nuzzled her neck in affirmation. She knew she recognised that smell. 

"Hermione?" Draco was still petrified and unaware of her revelation.

"It's not a hellhound, Draco. Sit back down. It's my fiancé. He won't bite." The girl was too ecstatic as the realisation she wasn't about to lose her life that she didn't realise how insane she sounded. Luckily, Draco could tell from the animal's mannerisms that it wasn't going to hurt them, so he followed her order, returning his stomach under her head. His feet hung off the bed, as he adjusted himself. "We were actually just talking about you, Sirius." He barked and licked her ear.

"Get a room, you two," Draco jested.

The curtains abruptly swung open by the force of McGonagall's wand.

"No!" Remus proclaimed. "Minerva stop!" Five faces spun in Remus' direction. "That's not a hellhound, and both Draco and Hermione are very much alive."

"You got that right," Draco clarified, but Snape refused to lower his wand.

"My office. Everyone. Now." McGonagall sternly demanded.


	20. What Everyone Will Be Told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Things get a bit weird from here on out.**   
>  **You have been warned.**

Arriving at her office through a selection of strange winding tunnels that no one knew existed, as to assure no one was following them, 3 professors, 2 students, and a dog entered McGonagall's office.

"Is no one going to explain what the hell is going on?" Snape interrupted the silence.

"I was going to ask a very similar question," McGonagall added, closing the door behind them.

Remus looked between Hermione and Sirius. "That's not a hellhound," he said.

"Yes, thank you, Remus, we'd worked that out," Snape retorted.

Hermione glanced at Remus, looking for direction. "But that is what everyone will be told," he continued, "no one can know what's really going on."

"But what  _is_  going on?" Snape spat. "Why is a Gryffindor girl in the Slytherin boys' dorm? Alone with Malfoy, may I add. Why is she being chased by a rabid dog?"

"Hermione and I were hiding from Weasley," Draco pointed out, "nothing else."

McGonagall looked over her glasses at the boy, "I don't doubt that, Mr Malfoy. We know your father is aggravated as it is. That's not why everyone is here. Do you have anything you would like to share concerning that dog?" Draco shot a look to Hermione, unknowing where his loyalties lay for just a moment. "Miss Granger, how about you? What exactly was going on?"

"Pads, I could ask you something very similar," Remus faced his friend, who was hiding in corner of the room, behind Hermione.

"I don't believe it," Snape flared his nostrils. "I knew I recognised that rabid  _fucking_  dog."

" _Rabid_?" A quiet voice from behind Hermione spoke, "that's a little harsh, don't you think, Snivellus?" The man emerged from out of the shadows, his hand in the small of Hermione's back. "Hiya, love," he whispered.

"Black? Isn't today just full of surprises." The fed up witch leaned back on her desk, pouring herself a cup of tea. The Animagus approached his former teacher. "Sit down." Unflinching, he complied. "Care to explain yourself?"

"I had to see for myself." He replied confidently, eyes flashing for a moment to Hermione's left hand, just as she realised what was out on show, and hid it in her pocket. Luckily, Draco was the only one to notice the micro-expression he sent her.

"And what exactly were you looking for?" Snape interrogated, joining Minerva on the table.

"Well," he lied, "I was  _going_  to see Harry, but when I heard about the star-crossed lovers over there," he nodded in Hermione and Draco's direction, "and someone left the common room open, I  _had_  to see for myself." He casually reached for a custard cream.

"And in the process, you thought you'd scare the entire Slytherin house by posing as a hellhound?" Snape was in no mood to be joking around.

"Yep, that was the idea," he smirked, not taking the hint from Snape's tone of voice.

* * *

"So, Hermione, where will you be sleeping tonight?" McGonagall asked after watching Sirius jump out of the window and convincing the other teachers to get back to the common room to calm the students. "I understand you don't wish to stay in the Gryffindor Tower, but I don't think the boys' dungeons are the most suitable place for a lady. I can find you place in the Ravenclaw Tower, or the Hufflepuff Basement, if you prefer."

"I appreciate your concern, Professor, but I'll be just fine. I don't want people asking too many questions. I have a friend I can stay with."

"You can't stay on Lupin's sofa all year," Draco argued. McGonagall almost forgot he was still in the room. "You told me yourself, it was beyond uncomfortable."

"I don't think that was what Hermione was implying, Draco." McGonagall seemed to know something. She was concealing a piece of information. "I think she meant  _Severus_."

_How did she know that?_ Hermione thought, her eyes doubled in size from embarrassment.

"WHAT?" Draco spluttered uncontrollably.

"Am I incorrect?"

"No." Hermione didn't look at anyone, she couldn't. Instead she was looking at her shoes. "How did you know we were friends?"

"Because you just told me." McGonagall gave a gentle smile. "I only guessed something was going on between you two because he referred to you once by your first name. He never does that with student, so I had a hunch." Her smile grew as she explained her detective skills. "He also seemed genuinely concerned when he thought you were dead. More so than Draco. I have to say," she breathed out heavily in relief, "I'm glad it is nothing more than a friendship."

"Trust me,  _that_  is  _not_  going to happen. I have no intention of  _that_  with him." She seemed practically disgusted by the thought of an intimate relationship with her professor. "I would never-"

"Rambling, Granger."

"Yes, sorry, it's late, I must be going. Was that everything, Professor?"

Her Head of House nodded, "Walk Draco back to him dorm, find out what Remus and Severus have told the student, so you know what story to go along with. Leave the room with both of your professors. No one can know who you're staying with. I trust you can count on Draco not to spread any of this information."

"Of course, I trust him with my life." He was almost blushing at that comment.

* * *

"Trust me with you life, eh?" he giggled timidly into her neck, as they walked, arms linked, back to the common room. When they entered, a wave of shock spread across the face of every student. Though they had been told by their professors that the duo were fine, it was doubtful that the students believed them.

"Draco!" Pansy cried. "What happened to you?"

"Granger's a badass," he smirked, "she practically wrestled the hellhound into submission." The room gasped. Unlike Remus' more believable story, the students took this tale as gospel.

"Bed! Everyone!" Snape interrupted the uproar of chatter. "Now!" 

Remus, Severus and Hermione left the room together.

"Did you want to stay in my room again, Hermione?" Remus looked apologetic at the fact he couldn't offer her much.

"That won't be necessary, but thank you. I think I'm going to be staying with an old friend."

"Ah," Remus winked at her and headed off up the stairs. "Night, then. Don't do anything I wouldn't, Severus."

Snape turned a flustered shade of scarlet. "And what is  _that_  supposed to mean?" But Remus was gone.

* * *

"Did you want the bed or the sofa?" Severus asked her prudently.

"The bed is yours, Severus, I'm not going to take it away from you." It seemed she hadn't learnt her lesson from Remus' room, but she assumed, as this was a much bigger room, the sofa would be much more comfortable.

She sat on his bed, cross-legged, looking at the familiar bookshelf that she was prone to stealing books from. Upon entering, she had draped her cloak over a chair and neatly placed her shoes under the same.

"Or, you know," he seductively raised an eyebrow, "we could always-"

"Share?" She played along, holding a straight face for as long as possible. "Just what I was thinking." He towered over her, grasping her face with both of his hand. Leaning into him, her hands slid up to his shoulders. She looked deep into his eyes and parted her lips.

"Hahaha," they burst into laughter in sync, suddenly letting go of each other.

* * *

He laid on the bed, next to her. "Hermione, what are we doing?" he whispered. They were staring at the ceiling, not touching, not talking, just laying.

"I'm examining that part of the tapestry," she pointed.

"Fancy ring you got there." Her hand snapped back. "Can I see? I noticed it in Minerva's office. It's a Sacred 28, isn't it? I assume Malfoy proposed. It would explain his father's reaction."

"Actually, that's where you're wrong," she corrected.

"Longbottom?"

"Nope."

"Well all I know is that it's not Weasley, so... Carrow? Flint?"

"Actually, The  _Noble_  and Most  _Ancient_  House of Black." (She said  _Noble_  and  _Ancient_  with such sarcasm that her eyebrows were wiggling all over the place.)

"Oh... so you're marrying the rabid dog?"

"That I am. But I haven't told anyone, so I would rather you didn't say," she pleaded. "I know you don't get along, but-"

"Telling people would hurt you, not him. I don't want to hurt you." He was both reassuring and discouraging at the same time.

"Did you really think I was dead?" she asked, changing the conversation.

"Only for a minute. I didn't want to believe it, but I did."

* * *

Hermione woke the next morning, snuggled deep into the chest of the man next to her. _Wait what?_

_Not again, Hermione..._

_What have you done?_


	21. Not Again

_This is the fourth man this week that you've fallen asleep on!_

_And it's only Wednesday!_

"Morning, Miss Granger, I thought we said we weren't going to do this?" A roused voice groaned in her ear, as they slowly rolled away from each other. 

"We didn't," Hermione explained, "it would be inappropriate for a student and teacher to share a bed. As far as I am aware, you took the sofa."

* * *

Breakfast was awkward. She sat at the Slytherin table next to Malfoy, while everyone was asking about her great feat of bravery. She, however, was not in the mood for tales. Draco happily filled in all the blanks for the table, while she pushed her breakfast around her plate. Snape hadn't taken his eye off of her since breakfast began, and it was making her uneasy.

_At least it was slept on, not slept with._

_On, next to, beside, it was like a sleep over. You've had loads of those with Ginny, how is this any different?_

"We're going to be late for Ancient Runes," a boy interrupted her train of thought, "I want to see what you were thinking we could do to Professor Babbling."

_Shit, I forgot about that._

* * *

When they arrived, Babbling was outside, leaning on the door to keep it closed. "The hellhound, it's back." She was frozen, not thinking well enough to alert another member of staff.

Everyone looked to Hermione. Draco had made her seem like an indestructible hero and now she had a role to play.  _Dear Merlin, I hope this is you, Sirius,_  she thought, sweeping through the crowds and opening the classroom door.

Luckily enough, it was.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?! Can you not just act like a normal person for once? Perhaps try to keep everything relatively secretive?" With every attempt he made to approach her, she backlashed, pushing him away. "You waltz around like you own the place, but you don't. I'm trying to live my life, I thought I could do that with you, but I'm not so sure. I took a risk, I didn't think it through, and now I'm caught in this situation. I don't even know you that well and we're engaged." Suddenly conscious that people were probably listening, she paused, lowering her voice, as she bent down to pet him. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I just... everything's just been getting too much lately. I haven't had time to deal... I've lost most of my friends, and befriended what I thought was the enemy... I've been sleeping with Remus and Draco and Snape and I just... I'm sorry." Her head was in her hands out of shame. "I don't know what's been getting into me lately but I shouldn't be taking it out on you. Forgive me."

Affection warmed her neck as he nestled his face into her shoulder. "Thank you," she breathed, "now if you don't mind, I-"

"What's going on in there?" A Slytherin boy intruded. "Did you kill it?"

"You can't just ask that," his Ravenclaw friend corrected.

"It's ok," Hermione established. "Tell Professor Babbling not to worry, her class can continue as usual."

"Granger," the same Slytherin boy continued, entering the room, (Hermione recognised him as Draco's friend), "I knew you'd do something good, but Babbling is so freaked out..." He shook his head in disbelieve. "You should have started hanging out with us sooner. You've officially joined the ranks of troublemakers." At that comment, she felt something rub hard against the side of her leg. It was Sirius' shoulder.

"Hermione did it, you guys," the Slytherin said as the class re-entered, "again." The boy sat next to his hero. "So where is it?"

Stealthily, she looked under her table. "I've tamed him. He's mine now."

* * *

Upon leaving an eventful Ancient Runes lesson, Hermione reached under her table, leading her fiancé casually out of the classroom. No one said a word, too horrified to do anything but stare. It was obvious people were going to discover at some point (he was never going to stop following her), so it was now about the best was of them finding out. She had planned to spend her free period in the library, but she knew she couldn't get away with that, so she headed for the dungeons instead.

"Can I get everyone's attention, please," she demanded as she entered the common room. "As you all know, I had an incident involving a hellhound last night. I have chosen to adopt said hellhound, so if you see him roaming around, please don't be alarmed. He doesn't bite unless you threaten him." She then wandered off, perching herself on Draco's bed, opening up her copy of  _Portland's Premonition Potion_ , as if there wasn't a savage killing machine napping on her leg.

* * *

Doing her best to avoid Snape's glaring eyes, Hermione ate her lunch silently. Leaving early, she made her way to the library. On the way, she bumped into Remus. His clothes were more dishevelled than usual, his eyes were raw, and he was limping, fumbling, stumbling down the corridor.

"Oh Remus," she dropped her books and ran to him, supporting him as he walked. "Time of the month?" He nodded, grievously, through gritted teeth. "That make two of us, then," she smirked, lightened the mood, trying to make him forget his monthly woes.

"I know. I can smell you. Wolf senses. I can also smell what you had for breakfast. I know you've seen Sirius recently, and... Snape spent the night on the sofa." The girl looked confused. "His scent's too strong on you for it just to be the smell of his sofa," he explained. "Though, come to mention it," he smelled her a little closer, "I don't think even his bed would be that strong-"

"You need rest. You're not thinking straight." They had reached his room. "Sit down, I'll make you a cuppa." She helped lower him into his chair.

"You're going to miss your lesson." He looked apologetically at his carer.

"I don't really want a NEWT in History Of Magic. You're giving me an excuse not to attend. I'm not leaving you," she handed him a steaming mug.

"And what about  _my_  lesson?"

"Oh, you're in no shape to be teaching a lesson," she said, pausing to think of a solution. "I'll cover it for you. The first year's won't even notice you're gone."

"I appreciate the offer, I really do, but-"

"Hermione," Sirius nosed his head, no longer a dog, out of Remus' room. "I just realised what you said. You said Snape. You said you slept with Remus, Draco and  _Snape_. Snape. As in  _Snivellus_  bloody Snape?"

"I don't recall saying that, no," Hermione swung herself round toward her accuser. "Where ever did you hear such poppycock?"

"Remus, I get. He's adorable. Draco, I understand. He's your new friend. But Snivellus Snape? You've got to be joking."

"I haven't slept with any of those men," she crumpled her eyebrows.

"Especially not me," Remus jumped it, almost offended at the accusation, but still pleased he was described as 'adorable'.

"I said 'on', not 'with'. Or that's what I meant anyway. Do you not trust me? What happened to being _your woman_?"

"It's a little hard to deny when you stay stuff like that. Oh, and you dropped these." He'd picked up the books she dropped outside of the library. "You've got a lesson to get to,  _Professor_. Don't be late."

"Oh, shut up," she said, fiddling with the invisible ring on her finger. An invisibility charm was one of the best ideas she'd had the previous night, but she knew the engagement wasn't going to last long as a secret.


	22. A Helping Hand

Covering a lesson was much easier than one would assume. Well, for Hermione anyway. It involved much more work than her History of Magic class, but doing work was her forte. Remus missed all his lessons that afternoon while Sirius cared for him, but Hermione was almost pleased.

"Hermione, dear," Remus entered his classroom at 10, "Harry's been looking for you. He said you weren't at dinner. Have you eaten? Or even left this classroom in the last 8 hours?"

"I don't sit with Harry anymore, so I don't see how it concerns him," she retorted, "but no, I haven't left. You have a lot of marking to catch up on."

"You mean the exams I set at Christmas? They don't have to be marked for a few days."

"I mean the boggart homework you set 3rd years, the cruciatus essays for 5th year OWLs, yesterday's exam, your end of year reviews based on all the papers you haven't even marked yet-"

"I have at least 2 months until that need to be handed it. You're getting ahead of yourself. Please, just get some rest. Anyway, that's a ridiculous amount of work to do. It'll take me at least the rest of the month if I do nothing else. How far have you got, eh?" he joked.

"Well, I, um, finished it." She pointed at the huge stack of paper on the desk. "The first pile is first years, then second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth. Along with the end of year reviews and predictions for each. I just need you to proof and sign it."

"Dear Merlin, Hermione, that's impossible. You can't have done 2 months worth of work in one night."

She swivelled on his chair modestly. "Well you can, you just have to..."

"You really need to get a life, dear, you're such a nerd," he laughed with her.

"Well yes," she smiled. "I don't remember every trying to give a different impression. I also planned the rest of the year's lessons for you. I didn't know how long you'd need off and I wanted to be prepared." She hands him his improved diary, and, as promised, when he flicked through it, he could see all his lessons were planned.

"I actually adore you," he said, beyond stunned.

"I know. Now can I please finish this filing?"

"You don't have to do any of this, you know, please stop." He paused to examine his lesson plans. He looked up. "What about 7th year stuff? There's nothing in here about  _your_  class." He waved his diary.

"I left that for  _you_. I didn't think it would be fair for me to mark my own work or plan my own lessons. Besides, you need something to do this year.  _You_  are the paid member of staff, not  _me_."

"Haha, that is very true, but you seem to be doing a better job than I have all year round."

"Miss?" A small Hufflepuff boy shuffled towards Hermione.

"Can I help you, Timothy?" Remus looked up, suddenly jumping back into action as a functioning, professional teacher, no longer gawking over Hermione.

"Actually Professor, I'm here to-"

"Yes, right, that book," Hermione began tearing through draws, "it's just here, somewhere." She swung round to a cabinet across the room. "Aha! Chapter 5, you'll be top of the class before you know it," she winked at the boy reassuringly and she handed him the book. "Just don't tell anyone I told you, ok?"

"Thanks," he grinned, leaving a parcel on the desk as he left.

Unwrapping the gift cautiously, Remus saw the boy had left her a chocolate frog. "I think you have an admirer. I could never get on with that boy, but I think he likes you."

* * *

"Where are you sleeping tonight?" Remus asked as he helped her file. "Because I don't think you and Snape are a good idea."

"I didn't sleep with Snape," she replied.

"I wasn't saying that, I just-"

"That's exactly what you were saying. Every interaction I make with Severus automatically becomes a shag in your mind," she snapped.

"Well, name me one other student in this school that refers to him by his first name. One other student that considers him their friend. One other student that has been in his room. Slept in his bed. Name them. The only other person I know that ever got that close to him was Lily. And he only let her in because he loved her. I worry about you."

Hermione understood where he was coming from, so spoke much more softly. "So you have a problem with me getting it on with Severus, but not Sirius?" she giggled.

"Either way I'll support you, but  _you_  know what they are both like, and ultimately  _you_  decide. All I ask from you is the truth. I want to  _help_. Eventually you're going to have to break ties with at least one of them, 'cause you can't keep this charade up forever." Remus was exactly who she needed to talk to, but she couldn't tell him what was going on. He had enough of a burden to carry and she wasn't going to add a secret engagement to his list.

"Thanks for your concern, Remus, but I should be just fine with Severus tonight." It broke her heart to lie, but what else could she do?

"I'll tell Sirius, then," he teased. "Doubt he'll be too pleased."

* * *

"Professor?" Hermione asked, foraging through Snape's quarters, looking for him. "I have this book..." She took a quick look outside and saw she was alone. "Severus, we need to talk."

"Talk? That's an idea," he said, appearing almost out of nowhere. "And what exactly do you suppose we talk about? How I thought you died last night? How we pretended to feel each other up? How you asked me to keep one hell of a secret? How you spent that night asleep in my arms? How you brushed it off and ignored me at breakfast and lunch? How you weren't at any afternoon lessons or dinner? You want to talk about the rumours I heard from students regarding your whereabouts?" With each question he took a step closer until he was towering over her. "Or do you want to discuss staying here tonight?" he squinted.

She turned, heading for the door. "I made a mistake coming here tonight. I  _am_  sorry you feel the way you do, but I thought you trusted me. I thought we were friends. I guess I was deluded." Slamming the door closed, she left a now deadly silent room.  _What just happened, Hermione? You can't cut ties like that. You're a terrible person with nowhere to sleep tonight._


	23. Draco's Last Day

She woke in the one place she'd thought to go (other that the library), Draco's room. He was comfortable. Not quite as comfortable to sleep on as Remus, but still profoundly cosier that Remus' sofa. Waking up in his arms was also nowhere near as unbearable as Snape. He simply noticed her next to him and rested his chin on her head.

"When did you get here, Granger? As nice as it is to wake up and find you, it's a little unexpected." He spoke faintly enough not to wake his roommates.

"Your life will be ruined by this weekend. Your father's probably going to pick you up tomorrow afternoon and escort you off like a child. I'm doing what I can to make your last full day of freedom enjoyable."

"You are truly wonderful."

"I know. Now I hope you don't mind, but I need to take a shower and disappear before anyone else wakes up."

"I'll only agree to that if I can join you in the shower," he whispered seductively into her ear.

"Don't push your luck, Malfoy. I'll see you at breakfast."

"Not if I see you first," he giggled.

* * *

Breakfast consisted of Malfoy whispering something in her ear every other minute, making sure Ron was in full view. The poor boy's life was about to be ruined by his father, so, out of pity, she put her arm tighter around his waist, pulling him in more than usual. She wasn't going to waste his penultimate breakfast with her.

When owls arrived with letters, the hall looked up in sync as every 5th and 7th year received their predictions for OWLs and NEWTs.

 _Remus, you liar, you didn't have 2 months to finish all that marking,_  she thought, sending a disapproving look in his direction. A raised eyebrow and a sly smile were his only responses.

As much as she hated it, she had to remove her hand from the fragile Slytherin's waist in order to read her predictions. Leaning on his shoulder, she flicked through the record cards. Each one had the predicted grade on one side and a comment from the teacher on the reverse.

_Arithmancy: Outstanding – My best student by far, Hermione, you will go on to do well._

_Astronomy: Outstanding – Good hard worker_

_Care Of Magical Creatures: Outstanding – SPEW needs ya_

_Charms: Outstanding – Excellent effort all year, Hermione, you're going to ace those exams._

_Defence Against The Dark Arts: Outstanding – You deserve so much more._

_History Of Magic: Outstanding – Not a bad essay so far._

_Study Of Ancient Runes: Outstanding – Best student and class protector._

_Transfiguration: Outstanding – I hope new influences don't change this grade._

_Potions: Outstanding_

She looked at Snape, unable to turn the card over. He too, was frozen, staring back at her.  _Now or never, Hermione_ , she thought.

" _My best student_ ," she read to herself, " _and so much more. Unable to make mistakes – especially those related to a future in Potions. The furthest person from delusional, and very trusted in the classroom. Will be dearly missed by Hogwarts at the end of the year. Extra classes that you have been attending are definitely paying off – welcome to return to them at any point if you so wish._ " Blushing at a wonderful apology, she looked over to her Potions Professor, smiling delightedly at him. A wave of consolation washed over him as he finally looked away to chat with the other teachers.

"Watcha smiling at, Granger?" Draco asked, gleeful at her happiness.

"Today's going to be a good day. I can feel it," she said. "How are your report cards?"

"That depends whether you got a threatening message from McGonagall."

"Of course I did.  _'I hope new influences don't change this grade'_ ," Hermione mimicked her professor's voice.

"Hermione?" Someone familiar taped on her shoulder.

"Shove off, you baboon! Don't make me fight you, because I'm not in the best mood and-"

"Ron, what are you doing here?" along with a strongly applied hand to Draco shoulder was her attempt to calm the raging Slytherin. "Because without a good reason I  _will_  let Draco loose on you."

"I wanted to see how your grades were. We'd planned to celebrate at the Burrow this weekend and I-"

"Wanted to know if I was still up for it?" The entire hall was silent, bar a few whispers. Everyone wanted to know what was going to happen to the hellhound-tamer's ex-boyfriend. "Fuck off, Ron. I'm sure Lavender will be happy to take my place." She gave a death glare beyond believe, turning back to her table.

"Miss Granger," a voice called from across the dead silent hall, echoing due to the tall ceilings, "is this really the place for such language?" It was Dumbledore, who approached her. "My office, perhaps?

* * *

"The school usually doesn't deal in these sorts of matters, but with the new law being enforced, we have no other choice. I understand you were together and it has ended. You have both found someone else. You have both moved on. So what exactly is the problem?" Dumbledore's kind eyes looked over his half-moon spectacles at the two.

"There isn't one," Hermione said, "I appreciate your concern, Professor, but I don't think an intervention is necessary. I'm sure you have a lot of work to do, so I don't want to waste your time."

"It won't work, you know," Ron said bitterly, "Malfoy's not your type. His father would rather Draco died than married you, so, you know, you need me. No one else is going to marry you."

"I don't think that's any of your business, Ronald. But actually, for your information, I am very capable of finding a husband-"  _Hermione, what are you doing?_  She thought.  _He's not worth it._ "I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth. You may now regret your actions, you may want me back, but that will never happen. I don't trust you. How could I?"

"At least let me apologise," he said stubbornly.

"For what? Cheating on me? Countless nights out seeing other girls? Pretending to care? Letting me believe we could work things out? Attacking Remus in his own home? Lying to people about what actually happened?" she asked, "What exactly are you trying to apologise for?"

"All of that. Lavender is not for me. I want  _you_  back. I'm sorry for making you feel like you have to hang out with Malfoy." Ron still seemed distracted.

"Well _I_  am sorry you think an apology like that will solve all those problems. Anyway, Draco has been a better friend lately than you have, so if anything-"

"He's gonna get engaged this weekend to a Daphne's sister," Ron interrupted, "I overheard Daphne in Divinations. You'll be back to square one again. No friends, no fiancé, no chance of getting a husband. You need me."

"I have friends. I have-" she paused,  _Hermione NO!_  "I have all I need. And I don't need you. If you don't mind, I don't want to be late to Transfigurations." With that she left Dumbledore's office, not looking back.

* * *

As she promised herself, she spent the day making sure her friend had as much fun as possible. They spent Transfigurations talking about all the different types of suits he could wear, transfiguring them onto a rat. Charms was spent levitating a spider on top of Ron's head. Potions, to Snape's distate, was spent sarcastically naming his future children after ingredients.

"Let's get out of here. I would rather not go to Ancient Runes, and you don't take it, so let's go out somewhere," said Hermione, who was rearranging her stuff from the end of her potions lesson. "We could go to Hogsmeade. Right now."

"And how do you assume we do that without getting caught?" he asked curiously.

"Trust me."

And he did.

* * *

They got to Hogsmeade at 4pm.

"What exactly were you planning, Granger?"

"Let's forget everything, just have fun."

"I can do that."

* * *

"And what time do you call this? Mr Malfoy? Miss Granger?" Snape strode towards them.

"I got this," she whispered to Draco. "Go back to the dorm." She turned to Snape. "It's his last night off. I just wanted to make sure he had a good time. Is that too much to ask?"

"Miss Granger, it's 4 in the morning." His level of formality irritated her, but she knew it was necessary.

"Then you should be asleep too. Teachers' rounds of the castle finished hours ago."

"I was looking for you," he smiled.

"Making sure I didn't run away with Malfoy?" she grinned back.

"Something like that. What did you think of your predictions?" he said, ignoring Draco's departure long ago and leading her through the dungeons.

"They weren't too bad. I'm probably going to have to take extra Potions lessons to keep up my grade, though." Her grin grew.

"Ah, well I'm sure I can help with that."

* * *

The next morning she woke in Snape's bed. It wasn't as bad as before, seeing as he wasn't there with her.  _Probably teaching_ , she thought, checking her watch,  _I'm so glad I don't take Divinations. Waking up early would have been hellish._

She stumbled out of bed, took a shower, got changed, and had something to eat.

10:45

_Shit! I'm going to be late for Defence Against the Dark Arts._

"Morning," Snape disturbed her panic with a smug smile. "Finally awake I see. You're going to be late for your lesson. I don't think Remus will be too pleased."

"Oh I think he owes me a hell of a lot," she said, approaching him slowly as he backed up against the wall. "I could skip his lesson, you know. Maybe you could teach me one instead." She was on her toes, bringing their faces closer together, as he rested himself on the dungeon's wall.

A mischievous smirk spread across the face of the man who spun her, so her back was against the cold wall. He took a step closer, closing the gap between their bodies. "Oh, Miss Granger," he breathed into her ear. "I could definitely teach you a few lessons." Her hands were in his silky hair, and his were against the wall, either side of her head.

Her coy laughter turned into loud chuckling; something Snape joined in with. "Why do we do this to each other?" she cackled. "Why do we pretend to shag?"

"We're lonely, I guess," Snape chortled, "I guess I'm better company than Weasley." He still hadn't moved from where he was standing, and he could still feel her body move as she laughed.

"But I'm not with Ron anymore," she said, weaving under his arm and sitting on the bed, "we should probably stop this. I'm engaged, after all." She looked down at the floor. "It was fun to play around, to pretend I was in a functional relationship with an actual adult, but-"

"-now you actually are."

"Exactly." She felt as if she was breaking up with a boyfriend. Though she'd never actually think to do anything with Snape, she felt closer to him than she had ever done with Ron. Fighting with Ron would usually lead to hiding in his office. He used to talk to her, comfort her. Countless nights of arguing with Ron meant countless nights in his office. Though she could never truly admit it to herself, she knew she would probably have preferred ending up marrying Snape instead of Ron, if it weren't for Sirius' rescue of course.

Acknowledging her sorrow, he resorted to his usual form of comforting. "I don't think the kids will be too pleased to know we're separating."

His nonchalant air almost made her smile. "Well, I'll still see them on weekends," she said. "Now, I must be off. I'm late to class."

"Very well."

* * *

"Granger, I've been looking for you." She was delighted to see Draco so cheerful. "So what did you do to Snape this morning to get us out of trouble? It must have been something good 'cause..." he paused, reassessing what he was about to say. "You didn't shag him, did you?"

"Draco," she looked at him, somewhere between pissed off and sarcastic, "Snape and I are married with 3 children." She put her hand on his shoulder, "I really hope I don't have to explain to you how children are made."

Silence. He was too stunned to reply. It also surprised her how easily that rolled of her tongue, but she ignored it.

"For crying out loud," she said, tears in her eyes, (she couldn't keep a straight face any longer,) "why does everyone think I'm shagging Snape?" Remus heard her cry and sniggered under his breath. "No, that would be weird, and gross, and you know I'm not quite available in that way."

"Sure, Granger, sure," Draco said sarcastically.

* * *

"Draco!" a voice interrupted Lupin's lesson. "Let's go! Now!" It was his father. Abruptly snatching him from his lesson, the long blonde hair of Lucius Malfoy swung round, sending a contemptuous look to Hermione. Due to his high place in the Ministry, Remus could not object.

The boy was gone, far from Hogwarts grounds, in minutes.

* * *

Hermione spent Friday night worrying about Draco. Distracted from her lessons, and unable to eat anything, she retreated back to Snape's room. One place in Hogwarts she knew she was safe. She tidied his desk, his room, read any book she could find. Anything to take her mind off her misfortunate friend.

"Crookshanks?" she smiled at the cat that jumped off the wardrobe the girl was nosing through. "What are you doing here, eh?" She cradled the cat in her arms.

"I thought  _I_  had the kids this weekend," Snape walked in, "what are  _you_  doing here?"

"Well where else can I go?" she said, putting down the cat. "The Gryffindor tower has too many unfriendly faces, Grimmauld Place will be empty, and I refuse to go to the Burrow if Ron's going to be there with his girlfriend and his smug face and... urg, I hate that boy."

"Something tells me Black won't be there long if Ron makes too much of a show of everything. Now trust me, and go."

And she did.


	24. An Odd Sort Of Party

POP! She apparated to 12 Grimmauld Place to find it deserted. As quickly as she arrived, she left.

_The Burrow it is then..._

POP! And she was gone.

* * *

Strange muggle music was playing in the background of loud chatter. Hermione arrived in the empty, shadowy kitchen, one room away from everyone. She turned to the punch bowl to get herself a drink.  _Drinking today is most definitely a necessity,_ she thought.

"Well I wasn't expecting to see you," Sirius said, upon entering and helping himself to a generous glass of raspberry punch.

"I was looking for you," she smiled weakly, "you weren't at Grimmauld Place, so I assumed you were celebrating with Harry."

"Well it must be something important if you dare to step within 50 feet of Ron," he chuckled, offering her a glass.

"I wanted to make sure we were ok," she replied seriously, not taking her eyes off of him. "We are, aren't we?"

He immediately put the glass down and wrapped his arms around her. "Of course we are. What's going on? Is everything ok?" 

She huddled herself into his chest, resting her head on him. "Yeah, I've just had a lot going on," she said, rubbing her hand on his shoulder, "and I don't think I've been treating you too well..."

"Hermione, you've been the perfect fiancée," he kissed her forehead, "well, as long as you're not shagging Snape, that is."

"For crying out loud," she broke the hug, in a fit of giggles, "I, Hermione Jean Granger, am  _not_  shagging Severus Snape."

"Oh, not that again, Hermione." It was Remus, who too, was looking for more punch. "I've heard that before. I thought you were staying with him this weekend?"

"Nope, smell me if you have too, because I think you will find-"

"-His scent is actually all over you. That's how I knew you were here. And that's how I know you've made your decision. One, as I said before, I will support. I'll make sure no one disturbs you while you do what must be done." His smile was sympathetic. He was still recovering from the full moon; he was still a broken man. As promised, he returned to the party, keeping an eye on the door.

"Care to explain what's going on?" Sirius whispered into her ear from behind as she sipped on her drink.

"Remus thinks I'm low-key shagging Snape. He also knows I very much like you. He told me that I should make a choice and stick with it. You know, cut ties with one of you," she explained. "I really wanted to tell him about your little visit, but he's got enough on his plate as it is. All he can ever smell on me is Snape because I'm staying in his room until the Weasley situation dies down."

"But you and Snape aren't shagging?" he eyed her with a meddlesome suspicion.

"Goodness, no," she responded, shocked at his blatant interrogating, "I've spent many a night in his room, but I'd  _never_  think to do that."

"Ok then," he said, accepting her words, "I trust you. So do you wanna dance?" His tone changed so suddenly. As soon as he had cleared up the previous issue, he no longer cared.

"Far from it. I haven't danced in years, and I'm  _not_  about to embarrass myself, especially in front of Lavender."

"She's not here, she cancelled on Ron last minute. He's sulking in the corner," he encouraged her, nuzzling her ear gently.

"Dear Merlin, that's embarrassing. I guess we could cause some trouble if you want," Hermione smirked.

"That's not the Hermione I know," he breathed, "who are you and what have you done with my future wife?"

Her heart was beating out of her chest; butterflies hit the sides of her stomach; her cheeks were darker than the punch; her clammy palms were making her glass slippery. But when she went to put her drink down, she realised Sirius had his arms wrapped around her waist. She turned her head, brushing against his cheek, "let's go cause some trouble."

* * *

Hermione entered the party, much to the surprise of her ex. "What are you doing here?" he sniggered. "Realised your boyfriend's marrying a Greengrass and now you want me back? Come here to apologise?"

"Dear Merlin, no," she laughed lightheartedly, "I have nothing to apologise for and I'm most certainly never going near you again. I thought I would hang out with Gin and Harry for a bit, get exceedingly drunk, you know, live my life. Plus I owe someone a dance, and that isn't going to happen in my current sober state."

An owl swept through a window, landing near Percy. "It's for you, Hermione," the boy announced, "bit late for owls isn't it?" he checked his watch.

The note was from Draco:

_Not as bad as I thought, Granger._

_Father wants me to marry Astoria this weekend – probs coz of your muggle arse staying in my bed._

_So far she seems much nicer than her sister._

_I know you're worried – don't be, I'm fine._

_Also:_

_Turns out those rings are actually cursed against you (proper dark magic) so think we dodged a bullet there. (I have to say, I'm surprised you're not dead from wearing yours.) Basically they have this connection thingy. They're a kinda protection force for Purebloods.(Not quite as brutal as a dark marks tho.) If you do get in any trouble, technically you should have an army of 28's behind you. Good luck with that... (imagine I'm rolling my eyes.)_

_Anyway, must dash before anyone finds out I'm writing._

_Try not to ramble, eh, Granger._

_Malfoy_

She folded the letter and tucked it into her pockets.

"Let me guess," Ron bickered, "Draco's breaking up with you after 4 days. Changed your mind about me yet?"

She looked at him, squinting. "I'm not going out with Draco, you little swine. I think you'll find I'm actually taken at the moment."  _It's not worth it, Hermione,_ she thought,  _don't ruin everything on a cheap shot at Ron._  Sirius leaned forward in his chair, drink in hand, and ready to pounce if anything happened. Ron raised his eyebrows in clear disbelief, wondering what other lies she could come up with. "Well, for this dance, anyway," she said, suddenly smiling sweetly. She reached her hand out, offering it to him. He smiled back, about to take it. Forgetting everything he had just done to her, enamored by her, he accepted her submission. But then she moved. Reaching out instead to Sirius, moving her eyes from Ron to him, she said, "Would you do me the honours?"

"Of course, my dear," Sirius beamed.

* * *

They spent a long time dancing very closely to the beat of the strange music. Being stared at by most of the Weasley's didn't put them off – they were a little too drunk to notice.

"Are they a thing?" Harry asked his friend, very confused. "Because that's weird. They can't be seeing each other. That's my godfather. He's like 20 years older than her."

Ginny didn't take her eyes of the two, smiling uncontrollably. Her and Hermione were prone to gossiping about Sirius at their sleepovers, and this would definitely be a moment to mark in Ginny's mind. When she caught Hermione's eye, she winked in a fashion that said  _'you go girl!'_

Remus was just as surprised. He assumed Hermione had just cut all ties with Sirius, but now she was playing with his hair as he got her another drink. Remus whispered to Hermione, once he had pulled her out of sight and earshot of anyone, "what are you doing?"

"I'm having fun," she slurred.

"What are you doing with  _Sirius_? You're with Severus, aren't you?"

"What? Severus told me to have fun," she looked up, drunkenly impatient. "He kicked me out of his room. Told me to go out and celebrate. That's what I'm doing."

Molly entered the conversation, "Hermione, dear, are you ok? I know Ron hurt you, but I'm sure you can work things out. You don't have to go out and rub up against the next man you see. I don't think Sirius is right for you."

"Well," Hermione raised a drunken finger, "that's where you're wrong. I'm having much more fun than I have in a while. Ron's lame. I don't want to marry him. The Ministry have given me about 2 years to mess around, so I'm going to make use of the time before I lose it. I'll go out, see  _whomever_  I like, do what  _I_  want. Because after 2 years-"

"OWL!" Ron screamed, as one nearly caught its claws in his head. "The owl is trying to kill me!" 

It curved around the room, landing on Hermione's shoulder, "hiya, sweets," she said, retrieving the note from its leg.

It was from Snape:

_Told you you'd have fun, didn't I?_

_The kids miss you already._

_Sent my love to the rabid dog._

_-Severus_

"Well,  _someone's_  popular," Ron retorted out of jealousy, seeing as he had received nothing from Lavender.

She was smiling at her letter, shaking her head in disbelief, and not paying any attention to Ron. "Severus sends his love to the rabid dog," she chuckled.

Both Remus and Sirius joined her tipsy laughter for a moment, but everyone else was too surprised by her use of Snape's first name to react.

"Someone's spending a lot of time with Snape, Gred."

"You got that right, Forge, wonder what they've been up to," his twin replied.

Hermione was too intoxicated to care, instead she looked at her watch and yawned, "I think I'm going to bed, night."

She apparated to Grimmauld Place, for a second time that night. This time, however, planning to stay. She found Sirius bed, and before her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.

* * *

"Urg," Hermione rubbed her head after her rough night out. She reached out her arm. The dip in the bed next to her was still warm and smelt of a manly musk. She removed the blanket that had been placed over her, muggle clothes from the previous night clearly intact and covering her body. ( _Thank Merlin)_

Shuffling downstairs, she adjusted her hair into a bun, keeping it out of her face.  _Coffee_ , she thought,  _caffeine, lots of caffeine._

Sirius strolled in the kitchen, minutes later, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. His body shone, still very wet from a shower. His hair however, though unbrushed, still hung perfectly. He didn't notice her, so went to make himself a coffee.

"Morning," she said, looking up from a book.

Sirius suddenly spun round, grabbing the first thing he could find to defend himself. As soon as he saw that is was Hermione, he put down the object and grabbed his chest. "Fuck, Hermione, you scared me!"

"Well someone should be paying closer attention to their surrounding, then," she smiled.

"I thought you'd gone. I assumed you didn't want to stay here and I thought... actually I don't know what I thought," he rambled, breathing heavily.

"You thought I've only been hanging around with you to get back at Ron. Now that's over and I've had some fun, you think I don't want you," she corrected. "We haven't really spent much time together since we got engaged, so you think it was all for show."

"Pretty much, yeah," he explained. "I saw the note you got last night. You call Snape by his first name; you smelt of him, you know him much better than you know me. Apparently you two have children or something. You're much better suited to him than me." He paused, gazing into her eyes, and Hermione could hear how his heart was breaking as he spoke. "You don't even wear your engagement ring, for Merlin's sake," he cried as his eyes welled, but still did not raise his shaky voice. "Remus was right: you  _have_  made a choice and you've chosen  _him_. You made it a long time ago, back before me. As much as it pains me to say this, we can't be together. You'd never truly be mine. You'd always be his. I want you, I  _really_  do. More than anything. But I know now that I can't have you," he choked, finally taking his eyes off of her. "Nobody knew about the engagement, so no one will ask any questions when we split. I hope at least you didn't throw away the ring. It's actually quite priceless, so if you don't mind, I could do with it back." He opened his hand, but still could not look her in the eye.

Slowly, she walked up to the morose and now confused man, placing a hand on his chest as their eyes met again. " _ostensus_ ," she whispered, as her engagement ring faded into view. "I never took it off. I will always be yours. Don't you doubt that. None of this was ever for show." Her smile caused his face to brighten. "I  _do_  care for Severus. It is probably true that if it weren't for you, I'd be marrying him in the near future. I don't doubt that it would have been an amicable relationship. Something plain and dull. But I don't want a  _good_  marriage." She put her forehead on his, breathing into his mouth as she wiped the single tear that had escaped his eye with her thumb. "I want a  _great_  one."

"Well, you've come to the right place then, Mrs Black," Sirius grinned with relieve, biting her lip and feeling her heart flutter at the use of what would soon become her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It absolutely makes my day when you guys leave comments/reviews/kudos. Thank you!


	25. And If I Do?

She ate her breakfast curled up in Sirius' arms. He had put some underwear on while she blushed behind her book, but his bare chest was still exposed.

"I want to take you out," he broke the comfortable silence, "I saw this bookshop I thought you'd like, and we should probably go before Remus gets back from the Burrow. If you want, that is. Maybe grab a latte, get hitched or something. Only if you want, though."

"I'll just take a shower and get changed," she said, climbing off of him. "A day out sounds wonderful."

* * *

Post-showering, clothes were laid out on the bed: some fancy underwear and a navy dress. They fitted perfectly, aside from the dress being a little too short for comfort. She countered that problem by transfiguring some tights.  _101 Spells All Girls Need To Know, Ginny's book collection strikes again,_ she thought. 

Placing her hand on the door handle of their room, ready for an adventure, she looked down at the bronze ring on her finger and smiled.

* * *

Although Sirius wasn't too pleased with the tights, they spent the morning roaming around a remote bookshop in a secluded village.  _Hardly somewhere he was particularly likely to stumble across,_  she thought, inspecting some of the strange books on offer. It was wonderfully peaceful. So much so that the couple lot track of time. They had been there for hours. Sirius had had his arms enveloping her for hours. Hermione had spent hours feeling his breath on her neck, and she couldn't concentrate on what she was reading. Not for a second. No doubt it would have been an interesting read if she could take her mind off of him, but she couldn't.

"Hey!" she shouted in a loud whisper, as he snatched the book she was examining from right under her nose, "I was reading that."

"You've been staring at that page for the last 10 minutes. I'm going to buy it so you can continue to do so over a coffee," he said, pulling her towards him as he approaching the counter, attempting to use muggle money.

She gave him a hand with the purchase and they headed to the small café around the corner from the shop, arms intertwined. "You really didn't have to buy that for me," she argued, "now I have to pay you back."

"I think you're forgetting something, love. Everything that's mine is yours." He picked up her hand from the crook of his elbow. "That's what that ring means." 

Once they were sitting in the café, their playful flirting suddenly stopped. "I was serious before," he smirked, "when I said we could elope. I meant it. We could go right now and be married by the afternoon."

She nearly spat her drink at his comment. "You...? Oh... right, well, I mean you don't have to marry me  _today_." She was blushing uncontrollably as the man she adored was proposing something she had only dreamed of. "You've got two years to go out and do whatever you want. You don't have to give it all up just yet," she said, failing to hide her hyperventilating, flustered state.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he stuttered, drawing his eyes away from her and toward his cup. "I just thought you were eager to... never mind. I'll wait. I don't want to pressure you into anything. I get it."

"Do  _you_  want to get married this afternoon?" she inquired, disguising her excitement well.

He looked her dead in the eyes. "Not if you don't want to." He still had his usual charm, but Hermione could see in his weary eyes that he was the opposite of facetious. He was  _not_  joking around. He wasn't going to even consider doing anything if he knew it would make her uncomfortable, and that in itself made her heart flutter.

"And if I do?" she smirked, biting her lip.

"Well," he raised a seductive eyebrow, smiling back, "that's a whole other story." He was still treading lightly, not wanting to push her, but he could now see how their trains of thought were bringing them to the same conclusion.

* * *

As decided, they walked out of the registry office, fingers interlocked, by late afternoon. "I can't say I was expecting such an eventful day," she skipped around, overjoyed.

"Nor was I, Mrs Black."

"That sounds  _really_  weird. I don't think I'm going to remember to respond to that," she giggled, sliding her arm under his jacket and around his back. "Plus we can't tell the others. Not yet anyway. They would absolutely freak – especially Harry. I don't think he's quite ready for me to become his godmother... Wow, that sounds even weirder. Godmother, ew, I sound like I'm a-"

"You sound like my wife, Mrs Black," Sirius interrupted, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Which is good enough for me."

"Mrs Black..." she repeated, "I sound like your mother."

"Why, on such lovely day, did you have to bring up such a ghastly topic?" he said, satirically picking the bridge of his nose and grimacing. "It took me years to get her portrait off the wall. If you were just going to take her place I needn't have worried about that." He leaned into her, breathing her in, making the most of every second he had her in his arms. "You're probably the best Mrs Black this family has ever seen," he said, facing her. 

"As your wife, can I ask you a question?" she looked up at him.

"Of course, my love. You can ask me anything you want," he whispered, grinning impishly, expecting her to say something naughty in his ear.

"What happened that night? I don't remember anything and it really bothers me," she said, immune to his charm for the most part and almost pained by thinking back to the catastrophe. "I know you said nothing happened, but I  _really_  do need to know."

"Simply that, Hermione," he reassured, kissing her on the forehead. "Nothing. We got very drunk, we snuggled up a bit, something you seemed particularly keen on, I might add, but that was it. I wasn't about to take advantage of you." He rested his hand on a blushing cheek. "This is by far my most chaste and cherished relationship. Did you wanna change that?"

"I wasn't planning on making you hate me," Hermione began.

"I meant the other adjective."

"I know," she smirked, playing with her new wedding ring. She swiftly grabbed his face, bringing it to her own, as she apparated them back to his room.

Pinning her up against the wall, her new husband breathed against her neck. "I've been waiting all day to see you in your underwear."

"And I've been waiting all day to show you," she murmured, as her dress was unzipped from behind by two keen hands.

* * *

Remus returned from the burrow by late evening, tired beyond belief. The twins had released what they thought was a harmless slime prank, but turned out to be a slightly more dangerous problem. Two hours were spent trying to clear it out of Ginny's hair.

He sat at the table, alone, fixing himself a drink and staring into space. He'd noticed two mugs in the sink, hence assuming Hermione had just stayed for breakfast. 

An odd noise from upstairs was just noticeable, so, once he had built enough motivation, he strolled up the staircase.  _If Pads is destroying my stuff again_ , he thought,  _I swear I'll-_

The noise was much clearer now. It  _was_  coming from Sirius' room. As soon as Remus realised what he was actually hearing, he turned around and walked back in the other direction. "For crying out loud, Padfoot," he muttered, "what did I say about silencing charms? We've been over this. I don't want to have to listen to you bone some poor girl you probably picked up at the Leaky Cauldron."

* * *

The next morning, Hermione woke, enveloped by man who was wearing a matching ring to the one on her finger. She smiled as she stroked his arm, still half-asleep. 

It was shaking. He was shaking.

Wrapping her arms around him, she whispered in his ear, "shh, sweetie, it's ok, it's just a dream, you're safe now." He got a hold of her, squeezing, digging his nails into her back, clawing away. "Shh," she repeated, wincing slightly, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here." His eyes shot open, followed by his hands releasing. "It's ok," she continued, holding his head against her chest, "I know what you're going through. Everything's going to be ok, sweetie." She continued to stroke his hair until he stopped shaking.

* * *

"Morning, Moony," Sirius said, proudly waltzing down into the kitchen, after taking a hot shower.

"You do know how to use a silencing charm, don't you, Padfoot? Because I could have sworn I heard something coming from your room last night," his friend joked.

"I've no idea what you're talking about," he said, fixing himself something to eat, very glad he remembered to conceal his ring.

"So who was she? Because I know for a fact Hermione won't be too pleased. I think she had her eye on you." Remus looked up from his paper, unamused. If he couldn't talk sense into Hermione, he was going to try with Sirius.

"What about Snivellus?" Sirius said, attempting to divert the conversation. "Thought she was shagging him."

"Not that she will ever admit," he explained. "But I don't think it's something she's too proud of. It's not like he would be very accepted by her friends. But then neither would you, so I don't know why she was pining over you."

"Speak of the devil," Sirius grinned at Hermione, who had appeared behind Remus, "whatcha doing round here, pet? Snivellus not treating you too well?"

"My man treats me just fine," she winked. "Couldn't ask for a better guy. I'm just contemplating going back the Burrow."

"Well," Sirius began, teasing her with his eyebrow, making her smile erratically. 

"I'll go with you," Remus offered, interrupting the exchange between the newly weds. "Better safe than sorry, eh?"

* * *

Instead of apparating to the Burrow, Remus took them somewhere quiet. "We need to talk, now," he said, "about Sirius. You should have cut ties with him Friday night, but you didn't. You're with Severus. You two can't keep flirting with each other. It's not healthy."

"But what is healthy these days? Marrying my teacher? Because that seems very far from healthy," she countered.

"Sirius was with someone else last night. He's not interested in you the way you like him," said Remus, who was leaning over her supportively. "I know it hurts, but you have to move on from him. You have to be with Snape."

"I'm sorry, I can't do that." Her heart split in two as she coldly declined his advice.  _You are a terrible person, Hermione, I can't even bare to look at you sometimes,_ she thought.

* * *

They arrived at the Burrow in time to receive owls. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny received ones from the Ministry.

"Bloody marriage laws," muttered Ron as he opened his letter. 

"They're probably going to start implementing them from our year onwards," Harry added.

Hermione was quick to retrieve her letter before anyone else saw. Hers was different. Entitled:  _The New Mrs Black._  Inside it congratulated her on her marriage and listed her marital duties:  _To live with your husband, maintain fidelity, regular consummation, wearing wedding ri-_

 _Wait what? Regular consummation? I know the ministry need a new generation of wizards but they can't force people like that,_ she thought.

"Are you alright, Hermione?" Molly asked the frightened girl who had just realised what she had got into. "I know it seems scary, but marriage can be a wonderful thing. Plus, like you said, you've still got two years to find yourself someone. I'm sure you'll be just fine."

"I  _have_  found someone," she muttered to herself. "But what have I done?" Her train of thought was interrupted by Snape's owl (which hadn't seemed to have left from two nights ago,) landing on her shoulder. "OW!" she yelped, jumping up, placing her letter face down and grabbing her shoulder. The ashamed bird flew straight out of the window, as Hermione inspected what the owl had done.

Remus also jumped at her cry, running to examine her shoulder. "You've got marks all across your back," he whispered, pulling her sleeves down and adjusting her clothes so they weren't visible to anyone else.

"Rough night, to say the least." She stared into space, ignoring his concern.

"You got in a fight?" He brushed her back, feeling for wounds.

"Something like that. If you don't mind, I'm going to leave now. I did something ridiculous and rushed and now I realise how stupid I've been. I need to fix my mistake before it's too late. I've made a huge mess of everything... and I'm sorry... but..." and she was gone.

* * *

Hermione found Sirius in him room, reorganising his bookshelf for her. She grabbed his body in a hug, not letting go. She held him, breathed him in, and felt her heartbeat slowly sync with his. 

After a few minutes of not moving, she slowly released her tight grip, and said, "We can't be married. I think we made a mistake. Everything was a little too rushed. I'm not ready. We don't know each other well enough. I'm sorry for thinking it could work and letting you believe it. Remus was right after all, I guess. We're not compatible."

He, however, didn't let go of the shaking girl. "Who have you been talking to, love? Because only a few hours ago you were happily married." He paused. "I hurt you this morning, didn't I? It was my fault. You don't want to be with someone who's broken. I get it."

"You didn't hurt me, sugar, I'm fine. It's not that." She reached into her pocket, retrieving the Ministry letter, and handing it to him. "Read this."

"  _'The New Mrs Black'_  " he read. "  _'We would like to congratulate you on your marriage and wish you a fruitful future. We were unable to locate your current lodging, so we hope you don't mind us writing to you at the Weasley family home.' "_

"Skip to the bottom," Hermione encouraged.

"Oh my, Hermione," his eyes widened, reading, "we're going to have to start wearing our rings in public," he laughed.

"That's not what I meant."

"Well I don't see anything else wrong with this letter. Death Eaters at the Ministry seem to have pulled out all the stops to make fake marriages unbearable for a lot of people, but I don't see a problem for us," he said, cheerily. "The Ministry can pass whatever laws they want. I don't care. I've got you. That's all I care about."

"You still want me?" she said, looking very confused.

"Damn right I still want you. I don't seem to remember saying anything different," he smiled.

"But I was rubbish last night," she began. "You knew what you were doing and I didn't. I made a fool of myself. All along through this marriage you've been one step ahead. You've always known what was going on. I can't deal with that. It just makes me feel useless."

"You are the furthest thing from useless," he countered, cupping her face in his hands. "And to be completely honest, between you and me, I don't always know what's going on. Most of the time I just roll with how things are going and try to make it look like I'm comfortable with that. I  _never_  thought you'd agree to get married. I was more surprised than anything, but it was something I  _really_  wanted, so I made it look like I was expecting it. Concerning another topic, last night was great. I know you've never done anything like that before-"

"How do you know that?" she interrupted.

"Well Ron's  _way_  too immature, and I assume you're not shagging Snape, so..." She glared at him for that comment. "Am I wrong?"

"No..." she muttered.

"Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of," he dropped his hands to her shoulders. "I'm going to tell you a story. Something I had planned to take to the grave, but I think you need to hear it."

"A story about what?" she looked up, intrigued. 

He smiled, "My first time."

* * *

Remus apparated to Grimmauld Place, looking for a beaten up girl. "Hermione... Hermione, I can smell you! Where are you?" He suddenly paused when he could hear dubious noise from Sirius' room. "Dear Merlin," he muttered to himself, "Padfoot, that poor girl does  _NOT_  need you sending mixed messages, she's confused enough as it is." Once he got to Sirius' room however, he realised it was just chatter, so entered without knocking. They were lying on their backs, on his bed, giggling uncontrollably.

"Hahaha, I don't believe she would actually say that," Hermione chuckled.

"I swear to you she did," Sirius assured, with tears of laughter in his eyes. "I had no idea what to do from then onwards. How can you reply to that?"

"What did you do?" she asked.

"Well I  _tried_  to recover the situation. I thought if I... Remus? You alright?" Sirius sat up, drying his eyes. "What's going on?"

"What are you doing?" he inquired solemnly. "I've been looking for Hermione. She got a letter."

_Merlin Merlin Merlin_

_The Ministry have probably created some new law_

_If it's about children I swear I'm going to murder EVERY last Death Eater_

_Fucking Voldemort_

_Even after death he's still haunting us..._

_Wait, how did Remus know the letter was for me?_

_The Ministry call me Mrs Black now_

_Oh Merlin, he knows..._

_Roll with it, Hermione_

_Make it look like you were expecting it_

_Make it look like you're comfortable_

She reached out her hand to take the letter from him.

_Thank fuck, it's just Mum..._

_Wait... fuck... how am I supposed to tell her I'm married?_

"Thanks Remus," she said, skimming her letter. "Parents are just checking the term started well."

"So what are you going to tell them then?" he replied. "Because they won't understand the Ministry's laws and they're going to be asking quite a few questions when you marry Snape."

She looked up at Remus, blinking twice at his sheer blatancy. "They won't be asking any questions, because I  _won't_  be marrying Snape."

He closed the door behind them, muttering, "if you say so."

"How am I going to tell my parents?" she said, heart beating out of her chest once Remus had gone. "They are going to hate you." He consoled her in his arms while she hyperventilated. "You're older, you've got tattoos, you went to prison, you..."

He gripped her tighter and said, "I am your husband. I love you. I'm not going to let your parent get in the way of us."

"Husband..." she repeated to herself, "as in married. As in they're going to think I've rushed a marriage because... because I'm pregnant or something. They're going to think you're taking advantage of me. They're not going to let me go anywhere near you," she cried into him.

"I won't let that happen," he said, stroking her hair, "I'm  _never_  leaving you." 


	26. Meanwhile At Hogwarts

"I'm heading back to Hogwarts, if you wanted to join me," said Hermione, smiling at Remus. "It's getting pretty late."

"Did you want to stay in my room? Or are you going to stay in the girls' dorm?" he asked, looking up from his paper.

"Neither of those are necessary."

"Ah, right," he smirked, "but you're not shagging him?"

She approached him, making sure her ring was concealed in her pocket. "I can't explain everything to you. I want to, I really do, but I can't. Everything will become clear very soon. But for now, just trust me, please. I care very much for Severus, but the Ministry's idea of marriage is not one that I think he and I could maintain."

* * *

"Well, good evening, Mrs Black," came a voice from behind her, as she rummaged through a draw of her clothes in Snape's room, her t-shirt resting on a chair, far from her body.

"Severus, how did you know?"

"You're looking for a cloak with long enough sleeves to hide your wedding ring. I saw some of the letters people have been receiving," he stated, very matter-of-factly. "Now, what happened to you? You've got bruises all up your back."

Noticing that she was in her bra, Hermione grabbed the nearest piece of clothing she could to cover herself with. Holding a t-shirt against her chest, she turned to face him. "It's nothing. I just really need to find a cloak so no one finds out."

"I think you're forgetting that you are a very powerful witch, Hermione. Get some sleep and you can elongate the sleeves in the morning." He walked toward her, unfazed by her lack of top. "I think the potions we've been working on will help with those marks. Did you want me to brew you some?"

"That's ok, I reckon I'm going to be getting quite a few more like these, so I may as well get used to it," she smiled half-heartedly.

"Hermione," stated Snape, more in the tone of a teacher than a friend. "If that husband of yours it hurting you, you can talk to me, you know, because that is far from ok."

She brought her hand up to his face, ignoring the bra situation, and said, "Sirius isn't well. It's not his fault. He doesn't even know what he's done. He's scarred from Azkaban. I think I can survive a few scratches if it means I can help him. Merlin knows no one else will help if I don't."

"No, Hermione! That's not ok!" Snape shouted, passive-aggressively shoving a few books off his chair. "You should not be letting him do that! You may be helping him but he's not good for you. He  _will_  hurt you, Hermione! Don't you doubt that! He hurts everyone he gets close to; it's only a matter of time. You've no idea the number of girls I saw him hurt while he was at Hogwarts. He's poisonous."

"Poisonous?" she said, raising both her voice to match his and eyebrows in disbelief. "You're just jealous that he got all the girls and you were rejected by Lily. You don't care about him hurting me, you just want to hurt him by making me distance myself from him!"

"Of course I care about you! If I just wanted to hurt him I would have spiked his drink with something foul. Or I would have reported him to our beloved corrupt Ministry. Or I would have married you myself out of spite!" he raged, practically screaming in her face. "I care for you more than anyone around here! You know why? Because you remind me of Lily more that I am willing to admit. She died not long after marrying a Marauder. I'm NOT going to let that happen again!"

* * *

There was a long, tense pause. Neither knew what to say or do. Slowly, Hermione stepped closer to him, embracing him in a tender hug. "I'm sorry," she said. "I crossed I line. I shouldn't have brought her up." He flinched and froze for a few seconds, then gently put his arms around her, careful as to what bare skin he touched. "I know you're worried, and I know you've got my back. Just like I've got yours." 

At that moment, Snape picked her up and threw her on the bed, as he jumped on top of her, caressing her skin. "Get your damn hands off of me, Severus! I am a married woman," she argued. "We said we'd stop doing this."

"Sorry, just having some fun," he apologised. "Get some sleep. I reckon tomorrow's going to be a long day."

He wasn't wrong.

* * *

"Granger!" a blonde boy called as Hermione sneaked out of Snape's room and headed to breakfast.

"Malfoy!" she replied, running up to him. "Though technically I'm a Black now," she whispered, mid-hug.

"Tell me everything, Granger," he said, leading her into an empty Great Hall, in time for breakfast.

* * *

"Professor Snape! I know you're in there," Harry knocked on Snape's door.

"Yes, Potter. What is it?" Snape replied, begrudgingly opening the door.

"I know about you and Hermione. I saw her leave your room this morning with a ring on her finger." Snape yanked the boy into his office. "She called you by your first name on Friday. In front of everyone, I might add. Ron is going to kill you for seeing her and I'm going to kill you for choosing a time when she is most vulnerable to prey on her."

"It's not what it looks like, Potter," Snape said, checking the corridor for people that might have heard. "Far from it, actually."

"Well I was hoping that, but the evidence is pretty damning," Harry countered. "Can you explain it any other way?"

"Um, not really," Snape spoke, trying to keep his promise of secrecy, whilst also not incriminating himself. "Miss, um, Granger and I, we, um, spend a lot of time together, but I'm not interested in her like that. I think this is a conversation you should be having with her, not me."

* * *

"And just like that we were married by the afternoon," Hermione concluded her story in a whisper. "What about you?"

"Much less romantic, much more formal," Draco said, disappointed in his lack of an exciting weekend. "We had dinner Friday night. I gave her the ring. We didn't see each other Saturday, and then we got married Sunday."

"What's she like?" Hermione said, trying to improve the topic of conversation. 

"She's pretty, she's relatively laid back when it comes to pureblood politics and so far she seems to like me, so I shouldn't complain. It's just that she's a little bit too young for me. She had 4 years to find someone and I feel like I've taken that away from her. Though," he grinned, "I don't think I should be getting into age gaps. Not around you, anyway."

Hermione sent a book in the direction of Draco's stomach with a great force. "Watch it!" she smiled playfully. "Someone might hear you."

"You didn't tell anyone?" Draco looked up, shocked.

"Um... no."

* * *

"Since when do you spend so much time together?" Harry asked his professor.

"A while now," Snape answered honestly. "She wanted help to stay at the top of the class. Then we began working on potions that weren't in the syllabus. She's a truly talented witch."

"But you're trying to tell me that you're not together?" Harry asked, almost patronisingly.

"Of course not. She is my student, and my friend. I don't want to compromise either of those by doing something stupid."

Harry didn't know whether he believed Snape, but decided it would probably be better to get some more evidence before making too many claims to Ron. He headed to the Great Hall, looking for Hermione.

"Ah, Harry." It was Remus, who was heading in the same direction.

"Hiya, Professor," said Harry. "Can I ask you something?"

"Please, Remus," he corrected, "and of course. What is it?"

"Hermione and Snape. What's going on?"

Remus chuckled. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"Because I saw her leaving his room this morning with a ring on her finger. Snape says they're just friends, but I'm not too sure. I don't want to say anything, though. It could ruin his reputation. As much as I hate him, it wouldn't be fair to spread rumours like that."

Remus stood, expressionless. "Oh my, Harry," he finally said. "She's going through a lot at the moment. It might just be some joke she's been playing on people. Snape can be like that sometimes. I'll look into it for you, but for now don't say anything."

* * *

"Whatcha gonna do now?!" Ron shouted over to the Slytherin table. "Your boyfriend's got married, Hermione. Who you gonna marry now, eh?" he spat bitterly. "You know Snape's still single. Or perhaps you prefer Harry's godf-"

"Mr Weasley!" thundered Snape, who was standing right behind Ron. "I don't appreciate what you are insinuating. Detention. And 30 points from Gryffindor."

The Slytherin table, which was about to get up to defend her, instead burst into laughter, pointing and belittling Ron. For that reason, Harry and Ron didn't communicate much with Hermione for the rest of the day.

* * *

Defence Against The Dark Arts was a little difficult in the afternoon. It's quite hard to hide a wedding ring when you're practising Occlumency. At the end of the lesson, by her professor's request, Hermione stayed behind to talk to him. They walked into his room and sat down.

"So when's the wedding?" Remus began, sitting her down like a worried father.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Harry said he saw you leave Snape's room this morning with a ring," he continued. "And I saw something on your finger in my lesson."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Remus."

"You don't have to pretend around me," he smiled with concern. "I don't care who you marry; I just want you to be happy. I just want you to feel comfortable around me. I just want you to tell me the truth."

"I am," she persisted. "And I promise you, I'm not engaged to Severus."

From nowhere, Sirius appeared, making his way casually towards his friend's liquor cabinet. "Who's engaged to Snape? Didn't think he'd ever find anyone. Not after Lily, anyway. Though," he continued, digging himself into a deeper hole, "last time I checked, you bore his children, Herm, so who really knows these days..." he winked.

"As much as I love you both," Remus interrupted, "please stop flirting with each other. This is a very serious issue. This is your future, Hermione, it's not a laughing matter."

"Well, while we're on the topic of marriage, I know about yours," she said, doing her best to change the conversation.

"Moony, you never told me you got hitched!" he beamed, punching him playfully in the arm.

"Remus, you're pretty terrible at hiding your wedding ring," Hermione said. "Almost as terrible as I am," she mumbled.

"I'm not hiding it," he countered.

"Then why didn't you tell us," she retorted cheekily.

"Oh, I don't think we can really talk," Sirius muttered under his breath.

"Tonks wanted to keep it quiet. She didn't want crowds of people, she wanted something personal."

Simultaneously, the couple smiled at each other.

"I know the feeling," Sirius smirked.

"So when's  _your_  wedding?" Remus said bringing the conversation back to Hermione's life.

"I'm not getting into that tonight," she said.

"It's ok, love, I think you should," Sirius encouraged. "Now's as good a time as any."

"Fine. Severus and I are not getting married. Nor are we engaged," she began.

"Hermione, please don't lie," Remus said, leaning back in his chair with the drink Sirius had handed him, looking exceedingly fed up.

"I'm not. I  _have_  been seeing someone, but it's not him."

"Who?" He looked up curiously.

Sirius moved to rest his hand on her back. "That would be me."

"Oh my," Remus blurted, pinching the bridge of nose. "And how long have you two been together for, now?"

"Since the new term started," Hermione murmured, almost ashamed.

"And you're already engaged?" he asked, nodding as if he should have already worked that out.

"Um, actually, Remus, we got married," Sirius said, moving closer to his wife.

Spitting his drink, Remus began laughing. "I think I miss heard you, Padfoot. Because I could have sworn you said that you got married."

"Then your hearing is impeccable," he said as his grinned grew.

"Oh, and you didn't think to tell me?"

"Look who's talking," he said. "We haven't told anyone, Moony. We know most people would react badly. Especially the Weasleys."

"We didn't want to burden you with one more secret," she smiled, apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"So every lecture I gave you: choosing the right person, cutting ties, Snape's room, everything... you were already with Sirius?"

"Yep..."

"The party Friday night...?"

"I was already engaged."

"For Merlin's sake, Hermione, I was so worried about you."

"I know. I'm sorry for what I put you through, I really am."

"What about that girl Saturday night, Pads?" he said, looking up at Sirius, who sat with his arm resting around Hermione's waist. "I told Hermione you weren't interest in her that way because you were with someone else." He paused a moment, reassessing that sentence. "That girl was you, wasn't it, Hermione?" She nodded. "Then why couldn't I smell it?"

"Because you didn't want to believe it, Moony. You probably blocked out those senses or something." Nobody spoke for a minute. They were all adjusting to the news. Remus was staring backwards and forwards between the two. Hermione was looking at the ground. Sirius looked sincere, waiting for Remus to say something.

"So," Remus spoke again, "if you weren't getting into a fight on Saturday, how did you hurt your back?" Sirius opened his mouth, about to answer that question, when Remus realised what he was about to hear. "Don't answer that. Dear  _God_ , don't answer that. I do  _not_  want to know." He flushed redder than Hermione. "Nope. Not something I want to hear about."

* * *

Hermione arrived late at Snape's door. She knocked, but opened before hearing a reply. "Professor," she said, realising that Ron was sitting in detention, 10 feet away. "I left my copy of  _Portand's Premonition Potion_  here this morning."

"Of course, Miss Granger," Snape replied formally, as he went to retrieve the book.

"You don't have to pretend around me," Ron said, once his teacher disappeared. "I've been in detention all evening and all he has done is edit that book for you. I know you're shagging."

Hermione took a seat on top of one of the desks next to Ron, casually swinging her legs while she waited. "Don't know what you're talking about Ronald. Shagging a teacher is very much against the rules. I wouldn't dare." She was smirking so cheekily at the last comment, anyone would have thought she was seeing her professor. 

Snape walked back into the room, book in hand, but Hermione kept the same look on her face. He raised an eyebrow at the expression. "Is something funny, Miss Granger?" he said, placing the book next to her on the table and sliding in between her legs. "Interacting with the students in detention is very much against the rules." Their faces were centimetres apart as he rested his forearms on her shoulders.

"Whatcha gonna do about it then?" she asked, reaching to bite his lip.

* * *

After 20 minutes of painstakingly watching his ex-girlfriend and professor flirt, there was a knock at the door. McGonagall entered, catching sight of Snape's arm around Hermione, while he leaned around to show her the amendment he had made to the textbook. "Detention finished long ago, Severus. Mr Weasley, Miss Granger, you may go." 

Ron ran for his life, as fast as he could, up to his dorm. Hermione, however, stayed sitting, one hand on Snape's back, and the other pointing at the hardback. "Severus, what exactly is going on?" McGonagall looked over her glasses, unimpressed.

Finally, he looked up from the book, "Minerva, can I help you with something?"

"You can explain what you're doing to Miss Granger. That would be helpful," she snapped.

He stepped to the side, out from between the girl's legs, slamming the book closed with his free hand, and freeing the other by removing it from her back.

"Hermione made it quite clear to me last week that she had no intention of anything other than a friendship with you. Has that changed?"

"Of course not," Hermione said, but she was ignored by the stare-off between the two professors.

"Minerva, I don't appreciate what you are trying to imply. I wouldn't engage in a relationship with my student."

"I'm not trying to imply anything, Severus. I'm stating that you have never stood that close to anyone before, and that same girl has a ring on her finger."

"A ring that  _I_  didn't put there."

"Then who?"

He paused, taking in a breath, questioning whether he should continue. "Black."

"Sirius Black?"

"Indeed."

"Well I never. Hermione, is this true?"

"Yeah," she said. "As I said before, Severus is nothing more than a friend. I'm a married woman. I wouldn't be messing around with my teacher."

"Very well," McGonagall said. "I'll walk you to the Gryffindor tower, Mrs Black. Unless you had other ideas?"

"I appreciate the offer, Professor, but I really want to finish my chapter. And for now, seeing as I haven't made it public yet, Granger is fine."

"Goodnight," she said, begrudgingly leaving the room. 

"What are we doing, Severus? We promised we would stop. We said we'd move on," said Hermione, looking at her professor, who had moved back to his previous position.

"It was just some fun, Hermione. Tell me you didn't like to see Ron's face when we touched," he smiled.

"But we shouldn't be touching," she said. "I shouldn't be staying in you're room. I shouldn't be here this late. It's wrong."

* * *

Sneaking into Remus' room in the middle of the night, searching for his sofa, she found it was taken. By her husband, no less. She curled up into his arms, while he slept. He smelt amazing; it was a smell she longed for. She rested her head on his torso, slowly drifting into a soft dream. The sofa that she once considered to be beyond uncomfortable was now the height of comfort. 

When she woke, he was the one resting on her. His arms wrapped around her waist, and hers around him. Shaking as usual, he began to grip her tighter and tighter. Hermione, in turn, feeling her lungs slowly compress, tightened her grip, kissing the top of his head. "Shhh," she whispered, "it's just a dream, sweetie. You're safe now." 

Whilst his hair was being stroked, he began to wake, breathing heavily. "Her-Her-Hermione," he stuttered restlessly. "I've done it again, haven't I? I've hurt you."

"You've done nothing of the sort," she said, continuing to brush his hair out of his face. "You're the perfect husband."

* * *

Hermione waited for Remus before walking to breakfast. "He's so restless. Why doesn't he just take a Dreamless Sleep potion?" she asked, concerned for the health of her husband.

"I've tried convincing him," said Remus, almost apologetically. "This is Sirius we're talking about. He prefers to face his problems head on rather than dealing with them passively. Plus, he's ashamed. He doesn't want to have to admit his problems to anyone or ask for help."

* * *

After breakfast, Hermione led Draco's group, (now her group,) to Potions. They had finished the syllabus so were able to brew/revise any potion they wanted. Hermione took the opportunity to brew a Dreamless Sleep potion.  _I can try,_  she thought. Draco brewed a Veritaserum, intending to spike someone's drink. Snape was actually brewing in the lesson too. He went for a healing potion, sliding it into Hermione's bag part way through the lesson. Ron and Harry were brewing a felix felicis, with the help of Harry's flawless textbook.

* * *

Giving Sirius the Dreamless Sleep potion was harder than it looked:

"I'm not incompetent, Hermione. I don't need your potions to stop me from being me."

"I'm worried about you, Sirius."

"I survived 12 years in Azkaban, I think I can deal with a few nightmares."

"Azkaban is  _why_  you have nightmares!"

"Love, I had nightmares long before Azkaban."

"Yeah? Well now you're married to me. And I'm going to be your next nightmare if you don't take the friggin' potion."

"You're the opposite of a nightmare. Nights I spend next to you are my most peaceful. I never wake in the middle of the night if I'm next to you. I don't need some stupid potion, I need you."

"Well I can't sleep next to you unless you take the potion. It'll kill me."

"So I did hurt you?" he persisted.

"Yes, you hurt me! I'm littered in scars and bruises. I don't think I can do this much longer!"

"Hermione... I.... I'm so sorry... I didn't realise I'd... I'm so sorry... I'll take the potion."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to clarify that I don't hate Ron. He's a plot device more than anything and I need him to act the way he does to move the story the way I'm trying to mould it. I'm apologising now for depicting him so harshly.
> 
> It's so great to read all of your comments. Half of you seem pro-Snape while the other are opting for a friendship which is really interesting.
> 
> As the new school term rears its ugly head I will be posting chapters a lot less frequently. (Hopefully every month, but I will try to make them much longer.) I have much more I plan to do with this story so don't expect an ending anytime soon. (I have much more trauma to throw in their direction.) I have a backlog of a few chapters that just need proofing, so when college work overwhelms me I'll be delving into that. (I'm not going to leave you guys empty handed.)
> 
> Goodness me, I'm rambling. (Where is Draco when you need him?)


	27. Dreams

Ginny stumbled into the Slytherin common room, looking for Hermione.

"Can I help you?" Pansy laughed at the nervous girl.

"I'm looking for Hermione."

"It's Wednesday evening. She's in Astronomy. What do you want with her?"

"I want to talk to her. Do you know when she will be back?"

"Soon."

* * *

Hermione waltzed into the common room, a few minutes later, followed by Draco. "I don't believe that," he was saying. "But he's not like that."

"I promise you," she affirmed. "It happened exactly like that... Ginny? Is everything alright?"

Ginny beamed at the girl. "Everything is wonderful. You'll never guess what Harry did!"

"Well, let me see," Hermione began. "He was brewing a felix felicis yesterday. He was practicing adjusting small metal objects to fit around his fingers in Transfiguration. I think I can guess."

"Look how pretty it is," she said, waving the ring on her hand in Hermione's face. "Isn't it just amazing. I love being in love. It's a dream come true. Harry said we shouldn't get married until I finish school, but that's just because he cares about my education..."

The common room was watching Hermione, waiting for direction from their new leader. Though they hated the Ginger Gryffindor, if she was friends with the hellhound-tamer, no one was going to argue.

"That is wonderful, Ginny. I'm very happy for you, but I don't think you should have come to this common room. Weasley is far from a loved name in these quarters," she smiled, sympathetically. "How did you even get in?"

"Crabbe writes the password on his had," she said, disappointed in Hermione's lack of happiness for her. "It wasn't hard."

"I think it's best you go now," said Hermione. "Send my love and congratulations to Harry. I reckon he's going to be receiving an interesting letter from the Ministry not long from now."

"How do you know that?"

"Long story. I'll tell you later."

* * *

Once Ginny had left, Hermione got the attention of the common room and said, "Ginny is my friend. No one is to hurt her. You will treat her with respect if she ever comes back in here. Is that clear?" Silent nods around the room confirmed her clarity. "If you hurt her, you hurt me."

"And we couldn't have our new favourite witch getting hurt, now, could we?" a voice from behind her spoke. It was Snape.

"No offence, sir," a Slytherin piped up, "but I don't think anyone here is going to argue with someone who can tame hellhounds."

"You left this," Snape said, ignoring that comment and handing her a vial.

"Thanks," she said, placing the vial in her pocket and taking a seat on a sofa. "Has anyone seen Snuffles around?" 

No one replied. They only shuffled further away from one of the doors. "In here, I guess, then?" 

No one moved. They watched as she opened the door. "Hiya, sweets, whatcha doing in the cupboard?" She bent down to pet him. "Did you hear the news? Harry and Ginny are perfect for each other, don't you think?" she beamed. Still no one moved. The dog got up, inching slowly towards Snape, as he inched slowly away. "Don't even think about it," she commanded her husband. "He is a Hogwarts Professor, and you will keep your paws off of him."

He stopped, looking back at his wife for a moment.

"I appreciate the help, Miss Granger, but I think I can control  _one_  hellhound," said Snape, trying to maintain authority. Sirius growled at him with hostility. "On the other hand, you can take control of your pet."

"Meh," she replied. "I'm too tired, I'm going to get some sleep."

Snape's eyes widened as he was slowly backed into a corner by the dog. "You can't just leave him here," he exclaimed, his back hitting the wall, unable to move away any further.

"Technically I could," she giggled. "That would be very Slytherin of me, don't you think?" She picked up her cloak, ready to leave. "Who am I kidding? I'm too Gryffindor for this shit. Come on, Snuffles, let's leave them in peace."

* * *

Hermione woke the next morning in her husband's arms, safely on Remus' sofa.  _Shit,_  Hermione thought.  _We forgot the Dreamless Sleep potion_.

But Sirius was fine. He was sleeping like a baby.  _I guess I am helping._

When he woke, he jumped off the sofa. "What did I do?" he asked his confused wife. "I forgot the potion. What have I done to you?"

"You haven't done anything."

"I don't believe you. I did something. I must have."

She got up, changing into her robes ready for lessons, while Sirius stared at her. "Hermione... your back... what did I do to you?"

"Sweetie, this was from before. You did nothing last night." He raised a gentle hand, caressing the marks, as she flinched. "I've got a potion that will help, anyway."

"I'll take whatever you give me," he said solemnly.

"It's actually for me," she said, downing the sour potion Snape gave her in one. "For some reason, I don't think we're going to be needing Dreamless Sleep. What did you dream about last night?"

"We were back in that little book shop, in this bubble. It was strangely peaceful," he finally answered, recalling his memories from the previous night.

"Good. Because I had a very similar dream."

"You're surprisingly calm about all of this," he said.

"I would quite happily settle for you sharing my dreams," she explained. "I've read about it happening between people who share a strong bond. There was this one couple from Tennessee," she laughed, "who could actually interact during their dreams. They used to play chess each night."

"It's normal?" he asked, looking very confused.

"Far from it. I guess we're special," she smiled profoundly. "What about the night I don't remember. I don't think we would have been sharing dreams at that point in time but you were find then. What did you dream about?" He tried to conceal a smirk, "Oh, I see," she giggled. "Guess that  _does_  make two of us then. What about the night after the party?" He no longer tried to conceal the smirk. "Right. I'm not even going to ask about the first night you snuck onto this sofa with me."

"Well what were  _you_  dreaming about that night?" he countered.

"Nothing that concerns you."

* * *

Once changed, she sat across from him on the sofa and said, "I think we should tell people this weekend. We can make an announcement at breakfast. If we tell everyone at once then it will be over quicker."

"Ok, if that's what you want. But for the mean time," he said, leaning forward as she tipped back on the sofa. "I've got a better idea as to what we could do." He stroked her face softly as he kissed her, clearly making up for touching her back so harshly. He climbed on top of her, deepening the kiss, much to the unamusement of the man who had just appeared from his bedroom.

"Morning," he said. "Slept alright I see. Well I'm off to breakfast. Don't mind me."

"Remus," said Hermione, breaking the kiss, "I'll be right there."

"I doubt that," he grinned, closing the door behind him.

* * *

"Hermione!" Ginny called, ushering her over to the Gryffindor side of the hall of dining people. "I've been looking for you!"

"Ginny," Hermione smiled kindly, "what's going on?"

"Sit down," she said, tapping the empty seat next to her.

Draco had stood up and was watching intently from the other side of the hall. With Ginny's gesture to Hermione, he began to approach her table.

"I'm not going to bite," she said. "I just want to talk to you. We haven't talked properly in weeks."

Hermione knelt on the bench with one knee so the girl was eye level. At that moment she noticed Harry and Ron making their way towards them. "And I, you," Hermione replied. "How about tonight we have girls night? I'll be in the girls' dorm after dinner, ok?"

Ginny nodded. "Yeah, that works."

"Back off, Potter," Draco called to the boy getting closer to Hermione.

"Back off yourself, Malfoy," he jested at the boy who was also approaching the girls.

"It's ok, Draco, Harry," Hermione interrupted the glaring competition. "Don't let me get in the way if you two want to flirt."

"Granger," Draco groaned. "Come on, let's get out of here. I can't stand such pathetic company."

"Bit harsh, don't you think?" she smirked. "That's my friends you're talking about."

"Oh I think it's quite warranted," he said, predatorily stepping closer to her.

"If anyone is flirting right now..." Ginny muttered.

Both Harry and Ron snorted simultaneously, without realising they were doing it for the same reason -  _Snape_.

"Granger," Draco repeated.

"Malfoy," Hermione copied him, turning her nose up the same way he did, before smiling and leading him back to his table. When she looked back at the trio she winked at Ginny, smiled at Harry, and raised her toying eyebrows at Ron.

* * *

After hours, Hermione snuck past the common room and into the girls' dorm. Ginny was waiting, sulking on her bed, looking out of the window.

"You made it!" she smiled, jumping off her bed to greet her friend.

"I did," she replied, cautiously eyeing up Lavender. "I promised a girls' night, didn't I?"

Lavender huffed, rolling her eyes and strolling back into the common room.

The two girls, enclosed by the drapes of a four poster bed, began to chat. Chatter that lasted all night...

"Harry's proposal was the cutest thing ever," Ginny began.

"Tell me everything," Hermione demanded.

"He took me to this little barn just outside of town," she began. "We got a few drinks but he refused to tell me what was going on. I knew he must have been up to something because he was just so nervous." Hermione snorted under her breath. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she said, "please continue."

"I'm serious, Hermione," she laughed, "he wasn't himself. He was actually trembling. Hermione, what's so hilarious that you can't tell me?"

"Nothing," she replied reminiscing over how nervous Sirius was the day of his proposal. "I'm serious, it's nothing."

"Nothing my arse," she snapped, throwing a pillow in her friend's direction. "Tell me!"

"You know that party Friday night?" she said timidly, pulling her sleeve further down her left hand until her fingers were no longer visible and much of her shoulder was on display.

"Yeaaaaaaaaah," Ginny urged.

"You know the next day?"

"Yeaaaaaah," she grinned for a moment before her face fell. "Did you say something to Sirius? Did you tell him he was cute? Hermione, tell me!" But Ginny was talking so fast that Hermione couldn't get a word in edgeways. "Did he react badly? I need to know." Ginny was rattling Hermione, shaking her arms vehemently. "You didn't tell him about the tally did you? He can't know I'm a part of this!"

"Ginny, calm down," Hermione whispered. "There are people around."

"So he doesn't know?"

"No. I'm sane enough not to tell someone that I keep a tally of every time they look  _'damn fine'_. And by the way, if he ever does find out, I want to remind you that it was  _your_  idea."

"It's a perfectly valid tally," Ginny justified. "He does look  _damn fine_."

"Well I'm not denying that..." said Hermione, rolling her eyes.

"Did you see him on Sunday?" said Ginny, excitedly veering off at a tangent.

"I did, actually."

"So we can add another mark to the tally?"

"Why Sunday?"

"He picked up some blonde at the Leaky Cauldron, I bet."

Hermione nearly violently spat her hot chocolate all across Ginny's bed sheets. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Well you saw him, didn't you? Tell me he didn't have that look on his face," she said.

"What look?" Hermione asked.

"The  _'I've just had a good shag'_  look," Ginny giggled. "He looked sexy as hell."

"Ginny!" Hermione yelped, sending the pillow back. "You can't say that sort of stuff! You're engaged to his godson, for crying out loud."

"I can say whatever I want, thank you very much," Ginny snapped. "And if Sirius happens to look particularly sexy I will say so!"

"Keep your voice down," Hermione said, cheeks burning. "Someone might hear you."

"Chill out," Ginny laughed. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Hermione replied, then instantly regretted it. "No, dare."

"Alright. I dare you to ask Sirius who the girl was."

"Ok," Hermione said, trying to plan how that would go down. "I'll see him this weekend. Truth or dare?"

"Nah," Ginny disagreed, "Floo him tomorrow. Also truth."

"You and Harry..." she began. "How far have you...?"

Ginny blushed and looked down. Though her face was poorly illuminated by the candle light inside the fortress of the bed, Hermione could feel the heat radiating from her cheeks. "Um..."

"Merlin, Ginny, why didn't you tell me this sooner! Tell me everything!" Hermione beamed.

"Let me guess," Tonks said. "There was a quiet room in the barn where he told you no one would hear you little hanky panky?"

"Don't be so crude," Hermione laughed. "Wait... how long have you been here?" she said, suddenly realising the addition to the what was now a gossiping group.

"Long enough to want to see you confront Sirius," she laughed. "You didn't really think you could have a girls' night without me, did you?"

"But how did you get in?" asked Hermione.

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Do you  _really_  need to ask that? Back to you, Ginny. I want all the gory details."

"The barn was actually really classy on the inside," Ginny justified. "Urg... mum's gonna kill me if she finds out."

"Don't worry," Hermione reassured. "Nothing anyone says at a girls' night leaves the room. Now, Tonks," she said, changing the topic, "truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to go into the boys dorm looking like Ginny."

"Ok."

"I haven't finished yet. Whisper this in Harry's ear." Hermione leaned over and whispered something to Tonks that was inaudible to Ginny. It made the girls giggle, but Ginny was eyeing them violently.

"Ok," Tonks repeated.

* * *

The girl returned 20 minutes later, snuck back into the enclosure and blew out the one lit candle. "McGonagall's outside," she whispered. "I think she saw me."

"You mean me?" Ginny said, staring at the place in the darkness that, just moments ago, held a girl, a replica of the Gryffindor.

"Oh shit, yeah," she agreed.

"But did you do it?" Hermione asked.

"He was asleep," Tonks said. Ginny sighed with relieve. "So I just left some underwear under his pillow."

"Tonks!" Ginny yelled.

"Shh," quietened Hermione as the girls' dorm door opened. The girls laid silently on the bed, trying not to catch their professor's attention, but it was too late.

"It's 3 in the morning, girls, you should be asleep. What are you doing?"

"Playing truth or dare," Tonks stated cheekily. "Care to join?"

"No, thank you, Tonks," McGonagall answered. "I would rather eat my hat. Please, girls, get some sleep. It's been a long day." She looked at Hermione. "For everyone."

* * *

"Come on, Hermione," Ginny woke the girl. "You've got a dare to get to."

"Ginny," Hermione began. "If I'm not even awake, why on earth would you think Sirius is?"

"I sent him an owl saying you wanted to talk to him this morning."

"Ginny!" Hermione groaned. "How could you?"

"He's going to be in the common room fireplace in about 10 minutes."

"Ginny, it's 6 in the morning!"

"Come on," Ginny ushered Hermione out of the dorm, down the stairs and into the common room.

"Ginny, Hermione," a tired looking Sirius said through the fireplace. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, we're fine," Hermione reassured, siting crossed legged and resting her chin on her hand, while Ginny stood behind her. "It's nothing, really."

"That's not how Ginny sounded in her letter."

"I'm sorry," Hermione apologised. "I didn't mean to wake you. It could have waited until the weekend."

"Don't worry, love, I couldn't sleep anyway," he smiled.

Ginny's eyes flicked backwards and forwards between the two, her smile growing by the second.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked, tilting his head slightly to the side.

"Ginny wanted to know something."

"Ok," he smirked, watching Ginny's eyes widen with embarrassment as she shook her head violently. "Ask away?"

"Last Saturday night," she smiled, biting her lip.

"That's not a question, love," Sirius grinned, wetting his lower lip slowly with his tongue.

"Last Saturday night?" she repeated in a more quizzical tone.

"More like it," he laughed. "What about it?"

"Ginny has come to the conclusion that you met a hot blonde at the Leaky Cauldron," Hermione stated.

"If I did, I don't see how that would concern her," Sirius replied.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said. "We were just having a girls' night and..."

"You were talking about  _me_?" he asked, a grin instantaneously stretching from ear to ear.

"Yeah..."

"You want to know who she was?" he guessed. "Or what she was like?"

"Yeah... well, Ginny does, anyway," Hermione looked down, almost ashamed. "She seemed to think on Sunday you looked..." She sighed. "I don't know. I don't really care that much. I just..."

Sirius raised his head, indicating that she should lean closer. "She was the best damn night I ever had," he whispered. "You wanna know why? Because she's the only girl I've ever loved."

When Hermione moved away from the fireplace that had flushed her cheeks bright red, she couldn't hide her overwhelming joy. "I love you too," she mouthed back.

"See you round, pet," he winked, disappearing from the girls' sight.

"Oh my God, Hermione," Ginny blurted. "What did he say? Hermione, you have to tell me! Stop smiling and tell me! Hermione, don't leave! Come back here!"

"Ginny?" Harry asked, poking a drowse head around the door. "Keep you voice down. People are trying to sleep."

"Harry," she said, "don't move." She ran past him, really hoping he hadn't taken notice of Tonks' gift. She prayed she could retrieve the underwear before anyone found out, and her prayers paid off.

"Hermione, what's going on?" Harry asked.

"Generally, or with Ginny at this particular moment?" Hermione laughed.

"Both would be quite good, actually."

"You have an overexcited fiancée who is very much in love with you. But don't spend too much time in that barn with her, Harry. People might start assuming things."

Harry began choking on the air he was breathing. "How did you...? What? You... but, um, how?" He nosed his head back around the door, watching Ginny fuss over his bed, and then turn to Hermione. "What do you want?"

"I don't want anything. That wasn't a threat," she laughed. "You two just be careful, ok?"

"You're not my mum, Hermione," Harry said, making Hermione snort at how that was actually getting closer and closer to a lie. "I get enough of this from Molly, Ron, Remus... don't even get me started on what Sirius has been telling me recently. I don't need the two of you parenting me."

"Harry, I've been getting you out of trouble since the day we met. I'm not going to stop anytime soon. Go back to sleep and take Ginny with you. I love her, but I really need some rest," she said, then entered her dorm, searching for her bed, thankful once again that she didn't take Divinations.

* * *

When she woke 4 hours later, next to something warm and furry, they were alone, lying flush against each other. His nose was buried in her chest and their arms laced around each other's bodies. She felt his body change into a solid man in her arms, and his lips found their way to her cheek. "Checkmate, my love," he grumbled in her ear.

"Sorry about that," she groaned as she got up to stretch. "I didn't think Ginny would actually follow through with something like that." She found herself some of her robes that she hadn't seen in weeks and began to change into them. "I didn't mean to-"

But he grabbed her before she could finish her explanation. "We're alone," he said from behind her.

"Yes," she stated. "Lessons have already started."

"And what are you missing right this moment? Because I can guarantee I can do a better job," Sirius said, nibbling her ear and running his hands down her bare arms. (She hadn't finished changing, so paused to let his hands run free over her body.)

"I've actually got a free period," she said, "which is going to be ending very soon. So I'm going to run to the kitchens to get some breakfast. You are more than welcome to join me if you want. I'd watch the stairs though. They normally turn into a slide when-"

He picked her up and spun her around so she was facing him. Sirius' lips collided with hers, muting anything she was going comment on. Tipping her head back, Hermione could feel her husband's arms resting on her shoulders, and she mirrored the action. Her hands slid up his chest and around his neck.

His smiling lips finally parted from her panting mouth. "And how did that compare?" he asked cheekily.

"Keep this up and I'm not going to have much of an education left," she whispered back.

* * *

"Hermione, you smell like wet dog."

"Thank you for your keen eye, Remus," she laughed, walking back from the kitchen and to her lesson with the man she had found on the way.

"No, I mean you  _really_  smell like wet dog," he smiled, offering the open door to her.

"Granger!" Draco called her, ushering her over to his table. "You smell like wet dog," he laughed in her ear. "Did someone happen to spend the night in you bed, eh?"

"Shut it, Malfoy," she chuckled, playfully hitting him. "I was up late for a girls' night and I didn't have time to shower in the morning." She pouted her bottom lip and sunk into the seat next to him. "Is it really that bad?"

"Yes," he continued to laugh, "I could smell you from a mile off. Now shut up. I'm trying to listen. I need to get good grades in this class."

* * *

"Doesn't it smell weird?" Harry asked Ron, entering Remus' lesson.

"Wet dog," Ron confirmed. "Hermione adopted a hellhound last week or something, didn't she?"

"Right," Harry nodded. "And how the hell did she manage to do that?"

"It's Hermione," he laughed, "do you really need me to say any more?"

"An actual hellhound?" Harry said after a moment. "There's an actual live hellhound roaming around the school? McGonagall's got soft."

"I would bet she doesn't know," Ron guessed. "Hermione spends so much time in the dungeons these days, she's practically been adopted by the Slytherins."

"I bet Snape's pleased," Harry laughed. "First name basis and all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****  
> _Opinions on truth or dare? ___  
>  ****  
> 
> 
> ****  
> _  
> **I'm thinking of writing a few more chapters with a few more party games at a few more of Ginny, Tonks and Hermione's girls' nights. Just to lighten the mood and create some more awkward situations. Maybe add a few more people to the mix further down the line, because, let's be honest, the more the merrier. __**_  
>   
>  ****  
> 


	28. An Announcement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****  
>  _This is one of the first chapters I ever drafted. I love writing confrontations so this was beyond fun. I've weaved the last 27 chapters just to post this one (which is probably not very healthy from a writing perspective) so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. ___  
>  ****  
> 

The weekend came around faster than they were expecting. The breakfast they were to make the announcement at came around before they were prepared.

"Are you ready," Sirius asked.

"No," she flapped, trying to sort the abomination of hair on her head. "How is your hair always so perfect while mine... look at it!"

He raised his wand, " _renes_ ", and her hair flattened, completely untangling. "I think you're forgetting that you can do magic. Now let's go before we're late."

* * *

Breakfast began very silently. Everyone was a little awkward about everything until Remus spoke up. "I would like to make an announcement. Most of you have probably worked it out by now, but Tonks and I got married a few weeks ago." She was beaming over her breakfast while Remus talked about the ceremony.

"And while we're on the topic of marriage," Ron jested. "I think Hermione probably wants to say something about her beloved Snape. Most people have seen the ring by now, 'Mione. You can't hide it forever."

She stood. "That is very true. I can't hide it forever. I just don't want to steal the limelight while Remus and Tonks are celebrating."

Molly's face fell. "Hermione, dear," she said. "What exactly are you trying to tell us?"

"She's shagging him," Ron butted in, causing a few giggles in the twins' corner, but silence everywhere else. "And now she's engaged to the greasy git." Remus' nostrils flared as he watched the boy embarrass himself while he tried to put down Hermione.

"That's not quite accurate, Ronald. I think you should first make sure you have all the facts before you make those sort of claims," she said.

"I was  _in_  that detention while you were touching him. You call him by his first name. Harry saw you leave his room Monday morning with a ring. I assume you spent the night," Ron spat.

"It doesn't do well to assume things, Ronald. I don't know what you thought you saw in detention, but he is just my friend and I was trying to study," Hermione sassed. "He was actually congratulating me Monday morning. He wanted to see the ring."

"Oh, really," Ron said sarcastically. "If not him, then who else would want to marry  _you_?"

"That would be my cue, wouldn't it?" said Sirius, standing up from his seat, squeezing Hermione's hand.

"Black..." said Molly, nostrils flared and temper raging. "You and Hermione...are together?" The anger in her eyes was so apparent that no one wanted to react. "Hermione," she breathed, "you're marrying Sirius Black?"

"Do you have a problem with that?" Sirius said, speaking on behalf of his overwhelmed wife.

"A pretty large one, yeah. A 20 year age gap worth of a problem."

"Snape's just as old."

"Who said I wouldn't have had a problem with him?" she squinted with disgust.

"Hermione's old enough to make her own decisions in life," he countered. "I think she-"

"I think we should let the girl speak," Tonks softly interrupted, as everyone turned to Hermione.

"Yes, I'm with Sirius," said Hermione, squeezing his left hand, tighter still, slowly cutting the circulation. "We got engaged a week ago last Tuesday. I love him. He completes me. I don't care what anyone says, I'm happier than I have ever been. I didn't tell anyone because I know you would react badly. But I soon realised you were going to find out anyway, so here it is: I, Hermione Jean Black," she partially slid her hand out of her pocket, revealing the signet ring as she nervously bit on her lip, "have joined the Noble and Most Ancient House Of Black."

"Not quite," said Molly in a protective tone, once Hermione had finished speaking. "You are  _not_  marrying him until after you finish school. Hopefully you'll have seen sense by then and realise what a silly mistake you're making." She almost sounded like Ron. "And if either of you have any silly ideas before then, especially you, Black, I swear-"

"Well I think it's adorable," Tonks disrupted the lecture. "The Black name could do with some new blood. Especially if it's muggle-born." She winked at Hermione, calming her nerves. "Plus you're going to be my ...second cousin? No... first cousin once removed?"

"Do you want to tell them or shall I?" Sirius whispered to Hermione. 

"I hate to disappoint you, Molly," she said, "but we already had one of those silly ideas..." Hermione didn't quite know how to continue, so instead pulled the rest of her hand out of her pocket. A second ring, tangled around her finger, was now visible. This one was much more delicate. It complimented the bulk and complexity of the engagement ring with its plainness. "I think that lecture is a bit too late."

Harry spat his drink. Not only out of shock of his friend's marriage to his godfather, but also her newfound lip.

"Merlin's beard, Hermione, please tell me this is some twisted joke," was all Molly could say, as the girl she was addressing sat back down next to her other half, not letting go of his hand. A tense few moments passed in silence. "The marriage means nothing," she finally said. "It's not official yet. I'm going to write to the Ministry to get it cancelled."

Sirius began smirking uncontrollably. "Soz Molly," he said, unable to hide his mischievous smile as he wet his lower lip with his tongue and bit it. "That's not going to work. It's already pretty official." Though his eyes stayed fixed on Molly Weasley, his thumb began to mindlessly rub Hermione's hand, calming her slightly.

"No, Black," she said patronisingly. "Didn't you read the Ministry letter? A marriage isn't official until it's been consummated, and I swear to Merlin if you dare to lay one finger on that girl-" Molly suddenly paused, watching as Hermione and Sirius' eyes met, exchanging a look. "BLACK!" she thundered. "SHE IS A CHILD! HOW DARE YOU?!"

Ginny spat her drink and began to violently choke. "Sweet baby Merlin..." she gasped as Harry patted her on the back. "Lord almighty," she continued coughing. "Fucking hell." Thankfully her mother was too distracted to penalise her for her language.

Molly had no need to raise her wand at Sirius to shake him, but thankfully Remus stepped in before she had the chance. "Another time, maybe?" he said, bringing Molly's attention of the rest of the Weasleys in the room.

"But it's just getting good," Fred countered.

"Yeah," said George. "This is golden."

Molly eyed everyone in the room, causing them to make a quiet departure until only Sirius, Remus, Hermione and herself were left. Hermione and Sirius still hadn't let go of each others hands, and it was the only thing stopping Hermione from legging it.

Molly turned back to Sirius. "Explain yourself," she said. "Now."

"What do you want me to say?" he asked. "Because I know nothing I will say will ever justify it in your head. Hermione is everything to me. Nothing you can say or do will ever change that."

"How dare you?" she repeated, walking around the table to face him. "What gives you the right?" He stood, confronting her. "She's 18 years old! And look at you!" He didn't respond, only making Molly more frustrated. "She has her whole life ahead of her and you go and ruin it! She could have been something great, but you're going to hold her back! She's not old enough to understand what she's doing, but you... You're more that old enough to know how selfish you are!"

He stared, unflinching. Hermione, on the other hand, winced every time Molly raised her voice.

"I'm so disappointed in the pair of you," she continued, not taking her eyes off the man who refuse to let go of his wife's hand.

"I think this is a bit much, Molly," said Remus, who suddenly regretted apposing the matriarch when she turned around to face him. If looks could kill, Remus would have been six feet under.

"You think this is ok?" she said, startled that he dared to argue.

"I don't think it is our place," he said calmly. "But I will always support my friends."

Sirius smiled gratefully at his best friend, nodding his silent thanks.

"Leave them be," he added. "Because, to be honest, I don't think you'll be very successful at separating them."

* * *

The announcement to her parent went even worse:

They walked up the Grangers' front door, Sirius' arm protectively around her. "It can't possibly go much worse than it did at the Burrow, love," he reassured Hermione, knocking on the door. Leaning into her, he whispered, "breathe, it's going to be just fine," into her ear.

"Hermione! You made it!" her dad beamed, opening the door to find a man wrapped around his daughter. "Who's your friend?"

"Sirius Black," he said, offering his hand, attempting to begin the interaction as peacefully as he could. "Nice to finally meet you."

"Simon," he accepted the hand, "though I can't say I've heard much about you."

They were ushered into the newly redecorated living room and handed hot tea by her mother. "So," Mr Granger began, "you don't usually bring your friends with you when you visit. What's the special occasion?"

"He's, um, a little more than a friend," she muttered into her cup.

"I see," her father nodded, now checking out Sirius more than ever.

"And I assume that ring on your finger is more than just a fashion statement," her mother said, giggling a little while she sipped. "Though, to be honest, I thought you were seeing Ron. I don't remember hearing much about a Black."

"I'm sure I've mentioned him in letters before," Hermione said, mindlessly fidgeting with the corner of Sirius' jacket. "I've known him a long time now."

"Nope. The only Black you've ever mention was Harry's godfather. The reckless one with great hair," her father said, still wary of Sirius.

"Well," Sirius smirked, "if any sentence were to completely encapsulate me, 'the reckless one with great hair' is probably it."

"Oh," said her father agitatedly. "And how much older are you than our daughter?"

Sirius shrugged. "A few years. Is that a problem?"

"That depends how many 'a few' is," said her mother, turning from excited to worried.

"Mum, Dad," Hermione said. "I know you're worried about me. I turn up one day with a man on my arm and no explanation. But you know as well as anyone that you can't change my mind once I've made a decision, and I don't make decisions unless I'm absolutely sure."

"Ok," Simon smiled meekly at Sirius. "As long as it's your decision, not his. So, what did you do to win her heart, Sirius?"

"You know, took her to a book shop," he chuckled along with her father, while Hermione was escorted into the kitchen by her mother.

* * *

"Hermione, are you sure about this?" Mrs Granger whispered. "You don't have to do this. I know you were with Ron not long ago. If this is some rebound thing gone wrong... you can talk to me, you know."

"Mum, I love him... more than I ever liked Ron, more than anyone. I've found someone who I want to spend my life with, and he want to spend his with me. Please don't stand in the way of that," she pleaded.

"And he treats you well?" said her mother, raising her eyebrows.

"I've never been treated better."

She let out a sigh of relief, slightly more at ease. After a moment, she finally looked her daughter in the eye. "Ok. I'm not saying I'm happy, but I  _will_  get to know him and I'm going to make my judgement. I just hope you'll listen to what I have to say before you marry him. In the mean time, I think you should go rejoin him in the living room," she smiled.

* * *

"Haha, not if I can help it," Sirius was saying.

"What are you two talking about?" Hermione joined, sitting back down in her seat.

"Talking about you, not to you, love," Sirius said cheekily, putting his arm back around her. "Is everything alright?" he whispered so only she could hear. She nodded inconspicuously. 

Mrs Granger joined the group with, "What do you do for a living? I know Hermione's interested in the Magic police thingy. What's it called?"

"The Ministry?" Sirius corrected. She nodded. "Actually I'm not employed. The House of Black is pretty well off, and with the state of the Ministry I wouldn't say it's the best place to be working."

"What do you mean 'state of the Ministry'?" Simon jumped in. "If Hermione wants to work there and help those elf people, I don't think you should be stopping her."

"No, no, no," Sirius said hastily, raising his hands in surrender. "I don't mean that. She can do whatever she want with her life. Harry's probably going to end up working there too, so I have no objections. All I'm saying is that it's a little corrupt at the moment and the people in charge don't really like me."

"Ah, right."

* * *

_Do they really like him?_  Hermione thought in disbelieve.  _Everything is going so well. This can't be right._ Finally relaxing, she lifted her hand to move a strand of hair out of her face, and right on cue, her mother dropped her mug, leaping up in anger.

"Martha, what is it?" Mr Granger asked.

"I know the difference between an engagement ring and a wedding ring. You did a good job hiding it from me, missy, but I'm not a fool," she glared. "And you, Sirius Black, you marry our daughter without even thinking to meet us! An engagement I could just about handle," she shook her head, almost as disappointedly as Molly did not long ago, "but a marriage? I can't believe you."

Mr Granger also stood, preparing to swing at Sirius, but Hermione stepped between them. 

"Dad! No! Don't do this!"

"You don't know what you're doing," he argued, trying to push her aside.

"Why does everyone tell me that?" she rolled her eyes, staying in front of Sirius, with her arms spread wide. "I know what I want more than anyone else does.  _I_  know what's best for  _me._  There is a lot of my life I haven't told you, and this is exactly why. You freak out." She was swerving any attempts her father made to get around her as she spoke. "You try to take control of the situation. I can't even tell you about half the stuff I've been through at school. Merlin, you would have been home schooling me by my first year. Never mind Voldemort. Never mind the war. But this is  _my_  life, and I'm going to do what I want with it! If I want to go to a school that's never heard the phrase 'health and safety', I will. I'll just say it's 'unorthodox.' If I want to sleep in the boys' dorm, I will. I'll call it a 'girls sleepover.' If I wanted to run away to Hungary in an attempt to shag my teacher, I would. I just wouldn't tell you. And if I want to be married to Sirius, I bloody well will."

Sirius placed his hand on her shoulder, apparating them both out of the house.

* * *

"I'm sorry," she cried into him. "I'm so sorry."

"What for?" he whispered to the girl in his arms. "You did nothing wrong. It could have gone much worse." He pulled her in closer as he led her to the nearest piece of furniture.

" _Worse_? My dad was trying to punch you... does that normally happen?" Hermione was visibly shaking, so Sirius sat her on the arm of the sofa. He put his legs either side of her knees, and rested his chin on the back of her right shoulder, burrowing into her hair.

"I wouldn't know. I've never met parent before," he admitted to the back of her neck.

She parted from his arms and looked him in the eyes. "But you made it seem so casual... you were comfortable and... you were pretending, weren't you?"

He grinned. "I was bricking it on the inside." His hands held her face as he placed a chased kiss on her cheek. "Your dad scares me."

"Speaking of fears," she said, finally smiling again, "what are we going to do about Molly?"

"Well that depends on whether you meant what you told her."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, crinkling her eyebrows.

"Do I really complete you? Are you truly happier now?"

She looked up, locking her eyes on his, entranced by how he had remembered her little speech. "Damn right."

"Then, in your words, if you want to do something, you will. I'm staying right here," he said. "And she can't stop us. We'll be married, you'll be attending the least safe school in Britain, Draco will be be getting a few more visits, you'll run away with your teacher..."

"Sirius, you're ruining a really nice moment," she groaned.

"What?" he smirked. "You didn't think you could get away with saying something like that without me picking up on it, did you?"

She opened her mouth to protest how it was simply a joke, but was interrupted. "I-"

His lips collided with hers as she tried to explain herself. "I know, love. You're not shagging him," he said to her lips. "But speaking of shagging..." he giggled into her mouth.

She pulled away quickly, then eyed him up from head to toe.

Sirius' face fell. "Oh, I... I'm sorry," he stuttered. "I'm, I should have, you're right, you're vulnerable, you've got a lot to deal with right now, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." he stepped back, giving her some space.

"Sweetie, that's not the problem," Hermione stated, wrapping her hands around his waist to stop him from moving too far. She felt a shiver down her spine. She looked from side to side, then back to him. "Where are we?" 

He grinned at problem that she had put in front of him.  _That's_  what she was worried about. Not Molly. Not her parents. Not the inevitability of facing a school of people on Monday with 101 questions. "Home," he replied. "The library to be exact."

"We don't have a library," she whispered into his chest. Being cold was one of the many reasons she he held him so closely, and it would probably be the one she would chose if she was questioned about it.

"Not until now, love. I made it myself," he smiled. "Well, your wand and a bit of handy work. I thought you'd like it."

Swirling around, Hermione absorbed every inch of the room. It was exactly what you would have expected the other rooms to have looked like 30 years ago. There was no dust or dirt. No sign of wear and tear. The wallpaper wasn't peeling. The furniture looked new. Hermione felt like she had been thrown into the past. "It's beautiful."

Catching her before she spun out of control, Sirius gazed into her eyes. "You actually like it?"

"I love it."

"I forgot to mention something," he smirked. "It has a secret entrance. Without specifically knowing how, it's impossible to get in. So we are very much alone. In fact, I would say-"

Before Sirius could justify his point completely, he was stopped mid sentence. This time Hermione threw her arms around him, pulling his face to her own. Her previous feeling of being cold was long gone as her clothes fell to the floor. She had more than enough heat to go round.


	29. Drunk

"Hermione!" a female voice called. "Hermione, where are you?"

"Ginny?" Hermione replied. She snuck out of the library and was about to go and find her friend, when she gaged what she was wearing: not very much at all. Making her way back into the library, she picked up a pair of denim shorts from the floor, and began searching for her top.

_A shirt, that'll do._

_Mmmmm, it smells so good. Somewhere between musk and sweat, mmmm... It's so rich, like... raging sex. Yes, that's exactly what it smells like._

"Hermione!" a male voice called this time.

She jumped out of her daydreaming state, putting on the shirt and heading toward the sound of people calling her name.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

" 'Mione, we've been looking for you," Harry said.

"Oh," she replied, pointing behind her. "I was just upstairs."

"And Sirius?" he asked.

"Also upstairs."

"We were kinda worried," he explained. "Molly's been absolutely freaking out. We wanted to check you were ok?"

"I'm fine. Really, Harry," she smiled. "It's nice to see you're the one checking up on me now."

"You sure? You look really tired?"

"Harry," Ginny nudged him, "bad idea."

"Is everything ok?" he asked, ignoring his fiancée.

Hermione grinned beyond belief, then attempted to hide it by pursing her lips together. "It's true, Harry. I am really tired. You wanna know why?" He nodded. "Ok," she said, walking past a silently giggling Ginny until she was close enough to Harry to whisper. "I've just had the most amazing sex with your godfather."

"Hermione!" he yelled. "Merlin! Why did you tell me that?!"

"You asked," she laughed, high-fiving Ginny.

"I wanna hear more," Ginny giggled. "Gory details and all."

"No," demanded Harry. "I don't want to know anything else. You, Hermione, are one evil witch. There's a scary image in my head right now. I can't unsee it. I can't unthink about you... you..."

"Me what?" Hermione teased. "Me shagging Sirius. You know, Gin, he has the most amazing-"

"Stop! That's my godfather. Don't finish that sentence. I swear to Merlin."

"Chess skills?" guessed Sirius. He was leaning on the door, grinning at Hermione.

"Not quite what I was going to say," she said, "but I suppose that's also true."

"And what exactly were you going to say?" he asked, biting his lip.

"Book collection."

"Ah, right, obviously," he laughed.

"Would you two cut it out?" said Harry.

"Sorry, Harry," Sirius apologised. "What is the time?" He checked the grandfather clock by poking his head around the door. "Oh, it's the afternoon."

"Yeah," Ginny muttered. " _Someone_  spent all day in bed."

"Actually-" Hermione began.

"Don't. Even.  _Think_. About. It," interrupted Harry.

"Actually," Hermione continued, ignoring him completely, "the sofa."

"Props to the sofa," said Sirius.

"I know, right," Hermione agreed. "Surprisingly comfortable."

"Was it really?" Sirius said. "Well next time you're on top."

"Guys, please," said Harry. "My eyes are already bleeding."

"Sorry, Harry," apologised Sirius for the second time. "Is that my shirt?"

"Yeah," said Hermione. "I couldn't find my top. You don't mind?"

" 'Course not, love. I, um, forgot to tell you something."

"Hm?" she said, her concerned face looking up at him.

"Checkmate."

"Fuck you, Sirius."

"That's the idea, love."

"For the love of Merlin."

"Sorry, Harry."

* * *

"So what are you going to do about the whole 'Molly' situation?" Ginny asked, trying to rush a piece of homework on random pieces of parchment.

"I don't really know," said Hermione, who was also trying to play catch-up with her work. "I probably won't see her much anyway, so I should be fine. How did everyone else react when I left?"

"Well you and Sirius have officially taken the lead as most mischievous pair to ever set foot in the Burrow," she laughed. "Apparently a secret marriage tops a secret sweet shop. Plus that whole Marauder's Map thing. The twins can't claim it anymore because technically Sirius made it. Also did I mention you got fucking  _married_  without telling me?!"

"I did do the right thing, didn't I?"

"Duh, 'course you did. Not only do you love each other, he's also abso-bloody-lutely gorgeous. I think I might actually be a little jealous, so, in no universe, am I going to let mum make you feel bad."

"Great reasoning, Gin," she snorted sarcastically.

Ginny folded one of the scrap pieces of parchment into an aeroplane and watched it fly out of the window. "Well tell me Sirius isn't having the exact same conversation with Remus right now."

"Fair enough," Hermione laughed.

* * *

"Tell me I'm doing the right thing, Moony," Sirius said, taking another swig from his fire whiskey. "I love Hermione more that anything, but I think I might actually be killed by Molly the next time she sees me, and I want to know that you'll at least look after my potted plants when I'm gone."

"I promise to water your plants, Sirius," he replied, downing his drink in one, then refilling both of their glasses.

"Thanks, man."

"And yeah, I didn't think I would ever say this, but she's pretty perfect for you. You really scored big with that one. She's smart, she's a powerful witch, she's gorgeous..."

"Oy, that's my wife, not yours," said Sirius, trying to stand before falling back into his chair. "Haha, keep your eyes to yourself."

"I'm not going to try to steal her, Sirius. I am married too," he justified, reaching out once again to refill his glass. "I'm just commenting on some of her... best features."

"Ok, continue," he said, crossing his arms and sitting in a way that couldn't be any more smug. "I could talk about her all night."

"But theoretically," he giggled, drunkenly raising a finger, "would you object to a little competition?"

"Remus, you've literally got no chance. You're really not the competition that I'm worried about."

"I'm going to take that as a no," he slurred.

"What are you planning, old friend?" Sirius asked, fumbling over to his equally intoxicated friend.

"You remember... no, you wouldn't," he giggled. "James never told anyone about that."

"Told me what?" Sirius squinted as he sat down on the floor before Remus. 

"He bet," Remus leaned inclose, "that I would never kiss Lily."

Sirius joined in with his friend's giggling for a moment before he shook his head vehemently. "I think there's something in these booze."

"I wouldn't be surprised," said Remus, nodding with every word, "but Hogwarts alcohol does always tastes like goblin piss, so who knows."

* * *

"I'm so glad you're back in this dorm," Ginny beamed. "We should really have a girls' night every night."

"With horrific plans like that, I may as well go back to staying with Remus," Hermione said.

"Not on my watch," said Ginny, almost bouncing off the walls with excitement. "Harry and Ron are going to be so glad to see you in the common room before breakfast tomorrow. And I want to hear all about Sirius. You have to tell me absolutely everything."

"I'll be right back," said Hermione in a much more lethargic tone. "I haven't seen Snuffles around, and you know me, always assuming the worst."

* * *

"Remus?" she said, entering his room and catching sight of the drunken pair. "Sirius?"

"Hiya, love," said a dazed Sirius. "I've just made a bet with Moony."

"And d-don't you forget it," replied his groggy friend.

"Of course you did," Hermione said patronisingly.

"No, you don't understand," Remus said as she helped him up. "Th-the booze. I think something spiked them. Something? Someone. I'm thinking someone-" He paused, bringing his hand to his mouth. "I think I'm going to-" He paused again. "No, I'm fine."

"Come on, let's get you to bed, eh? We can sort everything else out tomorrow," said Hermione, tucking him in. She turned to her husband. "You too, Sirius."

"I fucking love you sometimes."

"I know, sweetie," she said, putting his arm around her neck and helping him to stand. He immediately fell over again, pulling her down with him into the armchair. "Get some sleep and sober up. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked, not letting go of her hand.

"To find the person who spiked your drinks," she said.

"Give 'em hell," he laughed. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

"What the hell did you put in booze?" Hermione yelled sternly.

"Lower you voice, Hermione. It's 2 in the morning," came the reply.

"And you just happen to be awake at this hour?" she stated.

The dark figure of her potions professor approached her. "Ok, fine, it was me. It was just a bit of Veritaserum and a sedative. That's practically what alcohol is anyway. Why are you even here? You could have quite easily come tomorr-" He paused as an impish grin grew across his face. "Oh," he finally said.

"Get over yourself, Severus," she corrected. "That ended a long time ago."

"Then why are you in my room at 2 o'clock in the morning?"

"Because you poisoned my husband and my friend, and I swear, if you ever do anything like that again, if you even so much as hurt one hair on their heads," she took a step closer to him, "I'll tear you to pieces," she breathed.

* * *

"Why does this always happen to me?" she muttered to herself, strolling back to Remus' room to check on the boys.

Muffled footsteps interrupted her self-talk.

_Shit, Filch!_

Someone's hand stretched around from behind her and grabbed her mouth. She froze. Their other hand grabbed her stomach and dragged her back silently into a dent in the wall. "Shhh," they whispered gently in her ear.

Shaking with fear, she wriggled as much as she could to free herself, but she was far from strong enough, and her muffled cries were not heard...

So she thought.

"Is someone there?" she heard Filch say after few minutes.

"Shhh," the voice repeated.

This time she listened to the voice. Filch's detentions were something she really couldn't deal with right now. She stopped trying to move and held her breath.

Mrs Norris was a metre away and getting closer by the second. The cat purred with each paw it placed closer to Hermione. It was too dark to see what was going on, but Hermione knew it was over - she would be scrubbing floors for a month.

Then Hermione felt herself slowly being lifted up by the arm around her waist.

The cat reached a pair of feet. In the moment Hermione assumed her captor would have been bitten, the cat fled for its life.

"Come on, Mrs Norris," Filch called. "They're probably round here somewhere." Followed by, "Students out of bed at this hour in the morning," and a huff. "It's disgraceful."

"Meow," the cat replied from the distance.

Slowly being put down and released, Hermione finally took a breath.

"That was a close one, Herm," the voice whispered.

"Sirius?!" she yelled in a whisper, turning to face him. "What the actual fuck was that for?"

"What was what for?" he asked.

"You didn't think to tell me it was you?" She raised her eyebrows disapprovingly and crossed her arms but he could barely make out the shape of her body in the darkness.

"Well who else would it have been?" he said with little control over his over-exaggerating limbs. "It's 2 in the morning." He swung his arm out and spun around in a full circle.

"Well half an hour ago you were fumbling over your feet, so hex me for ruling you out as a possibility."

"No faith," he said. "I have an amazing ability to hold my liquo-" He paused. "Hold that thought," he said, running straight past her, hand over mouth.

"I give up," she said, chasing after him.

* * *

"It's ok, sweetie," Hermione said, rubbing his back as he threw up into the toilet. "Get it all out." She had tied up his hair and was crouching next to him, holding him close so he didn't collapse onto the floor. 

"I'm sorry, Herm," he said, placing his elbows on the toilet seat and lifting his forehead into his hands. "I thought you would have been able to tell it was me. In my defence, you do spend your life smelling me."

That made Hermione smile for the first time that night. She didn't know why. It wasn't a compliment. Quite the opposite. But something about the way he said it reminded her of why she fell in love with him. 

"I'm wearing your shirt," she laughed, adjusting a strand of hair, which had fallen out of his hair tie, by tucking it behind his ear. "And it smells very much like you. That's actually  _why_  I'm wearing it."

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" he slurred. "You're absolutely bloody perfect." With that he collapsed into her arms.

* * *

Hermione entered Remus' room silently to make sure he was ok. He suddenly shot up out of bed. "Hermione," he said, running over to her and tripping over his feet. "Have you seen Sirius?"

"Don't worry about him. He's fine," she smiled, catching Remus before he fell face first onto the floor. "Go back to sleep."

"I don't feel right," he murmured, holding his stomach and the bedpost for support. The hand holding the bed post shot over his mouth, and Hermione grabbed him for the second time to stop him falling. "I think I'm going to-" He tried running, but settled for Hermione's pace when he realised he would fall over without her.

Hermione held him while he coughed up everything he had eaten in the last day. She could feel him shaking in her arms, so began to stroke his hair to calm him down.

"You alright?" she said after he had stopped coughing.

"No," he whispered with all the strength he had. "I don't think I am."

A few moments later, he too had passed out.

* * *

"Be right back?" Ginny asked. "You were gone 3 hours. Did you even find him?"

"Find who?"

"Snuffles," she said patronisingly. "You said you were going look for him."

"Oh, right. Yeah," said Hermione, strolling over to her bed. "He was with Remus."

"Remus? Since when can Remus tame hellhounds?"

Hermione looked to her friend and then to her bed. "Ginny, you do realise Snuffles is just Si-... you know what, never mind. I want sleep."

* * *

Hermione woke 3 hours later. However much she wanted a lie-in, she had lessons to attend and two drunken messes to deal with. She took a shower, changing out of her new favourite shirt and into her robes. Brushing her hair in the common room, she was greeted by Ron:

"Morning," he muttered. "Didn't know you were back in Gin's dorm. I, um, I'm sorry about that whole thing on Saturday."

"You're an idiot, Ronald."

"I didn't know," he said. "I really thought you were shagging him."

"I know," she said. "Come sit down next to me."

"I really am sorry," said Ron.

She smiled sympathetically. "I know," she said softly.

"So you're not angry?" he asked timidly.

"Ron, I'm over it," she smiled, "really."

"So you're... not going to hex me?"

She reached forward and put her hand on his shoulder. "No, I'm not."

"Not even for the Lavender thing?"

"Why would I do that?" she laughed. "The girl you cheated on me with stood you up. And as far as I can tell, she has no plan to talk to you in the near future. I think that's poetic justice enough, don't you?"

"I'm sorry, 'Mione," he repeated.

"You really don't have to keep apologising. I don't care anymore."

"But I really am sorry," he said. "I wish I never did it. I wish I could make up for what I did. I want to go back to before all of this. I want you to be mine again."

"We both know that's never going to happen. The past is the past. Let's try to live in the now, eh? Try not to dwell on all that old stuff. How about this afternoon you teach me how to win a game of chess?"

"You want to play chess with  _me_?" He crinkled his eyebrows.

"You're the best player around. Why would I go to anyone else?"

* * *

Remus woke to the sunlight entering his room. He looked around and found himself in his bed. His head was pounding, and he had no memory of what had happened the previous night, so he thought a shower might help. He climbed slowly out of bed and saw a note on the side:

_Take this_

_You'll feel much better_

_\- Hermione_

It was attached to a little vial that he took at once. Hermione was right - he was already starting to feel better.

He spotted another note when he stood up. This once was attached to his wand and read: 

_Only pick up when you feel better. I don't plan on clearing up any other messes you make._

_\- Hermione_

He smiled.  _Looking after me as always,_  he thought.

Next to his wand was a glass of water, with ' _drink_ ', written in block capitals next to it.

"Thank you," he said aloud.

He climbed into the shower and attempted to remember what he could. By the time he turned off the water, he had managed to recall most of the events of the previous night in a hazy state.

* * *

Sirius woke up in a generously sized bed. He looked around for Hermione but couldn't see her. The walls were green and dull, so were the bed sheets, and so were the tapestries on the ceiling.

"No fucking way," he breathed, double taking the room. "Oh Snivellus, I'm going to have so much fun."

He sat up and was struck by a searing headache. Closing his eyes, he pulled off the bed sheets and sat on the side of the bed. Forehead in hand, he examined the bedside table for clues as to what could have possibly happened the previous night.

_Take this_

_You'll feel much better_

_\- Hermione_

_PS. Yes, this is Snape's room_

"I knew I married you for a reason," he said to the note, downing the potion in one. "Hermione Black strikes again."

 _Hmm_ , he thought,  _what to do first..._

He took a sip of the water on the side and picked up his wand.

"  _'Only pick up when you feel better'_ ," he read. "Come on, Herm, you know better than that." Wand in hand, he stumbled to the door and nosed his head around the corner. A grin beyond belief spread across his face. He was alone.

* * *

Snape woke much later that everyone else when he felt something pulling on his foot. His eyes shot open and he immediately began to flail his arms. He was in the middle of the Great Lake. He reached into his pocket for his wand but couldn't find it. Attempting to kick the giant squid off of his ankle, he swam as fast as he could to the edge of the water.

Five minutes later he was drying his cloak on the nearest rock. "Hermione bloody Black," he muttered to himself. "I'm going to kill you when I find my wand. And if you've snapped it, I'll strangle you."

He picked up his shoes and cloak, and began to storm up the rocky pathway to the school. Reaching the school gate, he charged passed the masses of student heading to breakfast, and headed to his room.

Upon entering his room, everything felt a little out of place. He walked up to the table at the side and found a note:

_Take this_

_You'll feel much better_

_\- Hermione_

_PS. I'm not going to apologise because we both know that it was well deserved._

"Throw me in a lake why don't you, Granger," he ranted at the fresh clothes that he was throwing out of his draw and onto his bed. "All I did was play a little prank. It was a fucking Veritaserum with a bit of Valerian ...oh, oh shit." 

 _No, they wouldn't have drunk that much..._ he thought. _They're saner than that. Aren't they?_

Next to the vial lay his wand with a note attached: 

_I wasn't going to let you lose your wand now, was I? Those merpeople would never give it back if they got their hands on it._

_\- Hermione_

_PS. You're welcome_

He took off his soaked robes and picked up the dry ones. Something was all over them. Hair?

He brushed off what he could, but it was everywhere. Then it hit him. He lifted the duvet off of his bed from one corner, taking in a deep breath.

"Black!" he yelled at the dog hair littering his bed.

* * *

"Morning," Sirius said, standing in the doorframe of the bedroom.

"Morning," Remus replied. He had just got changed and was about to head down for breakfast.

"How are you feeling?" asked Sirius.

"Hermione is a godsend," said Remus.

Sirius smiled. "Yes, yes she is. What would we do without her?"

"Exactly," laughed his friend. "Did you want to get some breakfast?"

"Well technically I can't show my face around here."

"I mean in Hogsmeade. We should go now so I'm back in time for lessons."

"If you say so."

* * *

"Come on, Gin," said Hermione. "Let's get something to eat."

"Now?"

"Yeah, I want to catch Draco. I want to talk to him."

"Oh, ok."

"And I need to see Remus too."

"Fine. Let's go."

* * *

"So what happened when you woke up?" asked Sirius as they made their way to Hogsmeade.

"Well I'd somehow made it into my bed," answered Remus. "There was a potion on the side for my headache, and a glass of water, and she'd put a note on my wand telling me not to use it until I felt better. What about you?"

"Same," he muttered. "Well, except for the fact I was in Snivellus' room."

"Oh really?" Remus nodded.

Sirius got the note out of his pocket to show it to Remus. "I have no idea where Snivellus is," he laughed, "because I woke up in his bed."

But Remus was a little distracted, staring at something behind him. "Padfoot," he said.

"Moony, did you hear me? I woke up in Snivellus Snape's bed this morning."

"Yeah, I heard you buddy," Remus said casually. "Look over there," he pointed. "Do you see what I see?"

Sirius turned. Snape was dredging himself out of the Great Lake. "Have you got a camera?" he laughed.

"What? Why would I take a picture? He clearly needs help."

"No," Sirius said, stopping his friend. "I know who did that to him and she wouldn't do it without a valid reason."

"What if her reason was to free his bed for you to use? What if she didn't realise he would be attacked by the giant squid?"

"Trust me, Remus," said Sirius. "She knows what she's doing. She sorted us out just fine, didn't she?"

He nodded. "Speaking of Hermione, that bet we made..."

"Never happened."

"Cheers," he said. They walked a few more metres before Remus stopped dead in his tracks. "Hold up," he said. "You actually woke up in Snape's bed?"

"Yes," Sirius replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"So what did you do?"

"Ah, so now you're interested."

* * *

Hermione and Ginny made there way down the corridor to Remus' room. They turned the corner and-

"Shit," Hermione whispered, pulling Ginny back before they were spotted.

"What?" Ginny asked, nosing her head round the corner. "Snape? I thought you were friends?"

"Yeah, well we were," said Hermione. "I kinda pissed him off."

"What did you do?" asked Ginny.

"Um..."

"REMUS!" they heard him shout. "Where are you?"

They could hear the door being unlocked and a few seconds later, slammed shut.

"Let's get out of here," whispered Hermione, who began to run off. "Quick, let's go."

"Mrs Black?!" his voice thundered.

"Run, Gin, I'll catch up with you later," said Hermione. "Professor Snape, how are you this fine morning?"

"Well I've just been to my room," he squinted. "Do you know what I found in my bed?"

"That's a little personal, isn't it, Professor?" she said, holding in her laughter. "Enlighten me."

"Dog hair," he said through gritted teeth. "Black to be exact."

"Merlin, Snape," she said unenthusiastically. "How will you possibly survive?"

"This isn't funny," he countered.

"No, but neither is poisoning people," she said, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows.

"Stop pouting, Hermione," he said checking behind him to make sure they were alone. "I wasn't trying to poison them."

"Really, because you did."

"And why would I poison them?"

"I can think of a dozen reasons of the top of my head."

"Do any of those scenarios involve me brewing an antidote as soon as I realised what I did?"

"At least 3."

"You insufferable little mud-" He paused, stopping himself from finishing that sentence. He'd said it once before and realised he shouldn't make the same mistake with the only other girl who had recognised him as a human being.

"I'm sorry, I missed that. What exactly did you call me?"

He leaned in closer to her. "A normal amount of that potion would have just been a bit of fun. It's not my fault that they drunk twice the recommended amount to tranquillise a horse."

"I didn't know there  _was_  a recommended amount to tranquillise a horse."

"There isn't. I made that up. I just assumed that if there was one, it would be a lot."

"Good day, Professor." She turned and walked off.

"Hermione," he said, chasing after her and grabbing her by the wrist. "Please. You have to believe me. I promise you, I didn't know."

She swung round to face him. "You have the audacity to come up to me now and tell me it wasn't your fault," she spat. "You poisoned two people I care about with a potion you claim not to know the affects of. You're the fricking Potions Professor at this school. I confront you about it and you make some joke about being in your room in the middle of the night. And to top it off, you call me a... you call me that name."

Snape gulped. He was lost for words. He watched her walk off, around the corner, and she was gone.


	30. Visions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> __  
>  **A/N: Just a casual reminder. This is an AU. Full details of such are available at the beginning of Chapter 1. This chapter and many to come will rely on said details so please make sure you check them out. ******  
>  __  
> 

"Draco," Hermione called, but he didn't hear. "Malfoy! I'm talking to you."

He spun round, letting go of his wife's hand. "Granger! I'm so glad to see you. You know Astoria, right?"

"Don't believe I do."

"Ah, well this is my Astoria." He nodded in her direction.

"Nice to meet you," said Hermione, offering her hand.

"Granger is one of the bearable Gryffindors."

"So you've said," replied Astoria in a monotone, fed-up sounding voice, not accepting the hand.

"He's mentioned me?" Hermione smiled.

"Doesn't shut up about you." She rolled her eyes with boredom. "Granger this, Granger did that."

"You know, Granger, I think that's a bit of an exaggeration," said Draco.

"You know, Malfoy, I'm not a Granger anymore."

"You know, Granger, I don't care."

They sat down at the Slytherin table and Ginny made her way over. "Hermione," she was saying as she sat down next to her friend. "You need to tell me everything. What happened back there?"

"Long story," said Hermione, "I sorted it out, though... I think."

A swish of robes caught Hermione's eye as Snape made his way to the top table. He looked straight at her, nearly bumping into a student. She looked straight back, emotionless and unflinching.

"And what might be going on there?" Draco teased, whispering in her ear.

Hermione casually looked away and turned to Draco. "Malfoy, dear, you have absolutely no idea," she said. A few seconds later her face lit up, returning her bubbly personality. "I want to know everything about you, Astoria," she smiled.

"There's nothing to tell," Astoria replied.

"Now that's a fat lie," Hermione countered. " _Everybody_  has something interesting to say about themselves."

"Well I don't, so leave me alone," she said.

"Astoria," Draco said to her. "You're being rude."

"Yeah, I am," she said, storming off.

"Please ignore her," Draco apologised. "She's been like this all weekend. I want to know more about you. What have you and Sirius been up to?"

"Don't answer that," Harry called from across the hall. "Trust me, Malfoy, I'm doing you a favour."

"Potter," Draco smiled. "Listening in to our conversation now, are we?"

"Fine, do what you want, but don't blame me when you want to scratch your eyes out."

"You know, Malfoy," Hermione said, "you two should just get a room." Draco shot her a look. "Or a barn." Ginny shot her another look. "I'm not going to apologise for that," she laughed. "I'm proud of that."

"Come on, Granger, we're going to be late for Charms," Draco said, trying to change the subject.

* * *

The final lesson of her busy day was Defence Against the Dark Arts. She hadn't seen Remus or Sirius all day, and as much as she tried to hide it, she was really beginning to become worried. She knew it couldn't be something that bad. Somehow she could tell if something was really up. It was as if she could sense when there was a problem.  _Probably something to do with the dream connection thing,_  she thought, but that wasn't true. It was a proven fact that every wife can tell when their husbands are in real trouble. It was a woman thing.

She sat down in the lesson next to Draco. "Granger," he said. "What's going on? You haven't been yourself all day."

"Afternoon," she heard Remus say to the class, and she sighed with relief, finally able to breath properly.

"Nothing," Hermione smiled at her friend. She watched Remus make his way down the aisle and and a wave of calm washed over her. "Not anymore. Everything's ok now. Better than ok, in fact. Everything's great."

"Even that Snape thing?"

She snorted out of surprise. "What? No. That's... that's a  _whole_  other issue. I'll tell you all about it some other time."

"So last week we looked at Occlumency," said Remus to the class. "Now we're going to look into it's counterpart: Legilimency. There is a very very small chance this might work, and by 'very very small' I mean I doubt it will. To tell you the truth, I'm just very curious to see what will happen, more than anything. Can I have two volunteers? Harry and Hermione, would you mind joining me at the front?"

They made there way up and stood in front of the class. "This is going to be... interesting," Draco said to his group while he jotted some notes down in his book. "Can't wait to get into  _some_  people's mind."

"Hermione!" someone coughed from the back of the room.

"Oi, watch it. I'm married," Draco called back to them.

"Harry," Hermione coughed under her breath. Draco shot a look at the girl trying to hold in her laughter.

Remus quietened the class then said, "Just so you all know, all you are supposed to learn on Occlumency and Legilimency is theoretical, so don't actually expect any of this to work." He walked round to Hermione and leaned in close, adjusting how she stood. "You don't mind, do you? I chose Harry for you. I know you trust him, so-"

"Don't worry about it," she interrupted, smiling at him. "I'm glad you chose us."

He made his way around to Harry. "The theory of it is exactly the same as Occlumency," he said. "When you're ready, point you wand and say ' _Legilimens_ '."

"Legilimens!" Harry pointed his wand, waiting for something to happen. Nothing did.

"Now this is a very fine art," Remus explained. "I would be very surprised if anyone makes any progress at all. At most, it will probably feel like someone is staring at you."

The class began to restlessly mumble. "The boy who tried and failed," one particular Slytherin muttered, which received a well deserved tongue twisting jinx from Draco.

"Legilimens!" Harry tried again. Nothing.

"Now let's say Hermione wanted to let Harry into her mind." He turned to the girl. "Now image yourself dropping all of your defences," he whispered. "Close your eyes and really picture it. All the walls around you are falling down. Everything is calm and peaceful. You're in an empty field with no barriers for miles." He put his hand on her shoulder and she slowly breathed out. "Now think of a memory. Anything you like."

"Legilimens!" Harry shouted for the third time. It worked.

* * *

A few minutes later, Hermione felt the hand on her shoulder move. Blinking a few times as she opened her eyes, she looked around the room. "Where's Harry?" she asked.

"Ran out," a Slytherin said from the back of the class. "Don't know what he saw but it must have been vivid as hell 'cause he was pretty pale."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he's gone to get some air," said another. "What a wuss."

"Are you ok?" Remus asked Hermione. "It took a lot more out of Harry than I was expecting."

"Yeah," she replied. "I'm doing just fine, actually. I'm up for round two, if that's what you're asking. As long as Harry's ok."

He nodded and smiled. "Thank you." Remus turned to class and said, "Would anyone like the chance to have their mind penetrated by Hermione?"

The girl scoured the class, looking for someone who she would really like to invade the mind of. On the Gryffindor side sat Neville, Lavender, Dean, Seamus...  _where was Ron? Oh,_  she thought,  _probably with Harry._ She looked to the other side of the room.

There were a few scoffs in the Slytherin corner before Draco stood up. "Fine, alright, alright fine," he said, "shut up." He made his way to the front and smiled at Hermione. "Be gentle," he laughed nervously.

Remus usher him to where Harry had stood. "You remember what you learnt last week?" his professor asked. The boy nodded. "Ok, control your emotions, resist."

"You'll never be able to get in, Granger. My father taught me well." He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

"Legilimens!" Hermione shouted, swinging her arm and pointing her wand at Draco.

_Draco! Boy! Where are you?_

_I'm not getting one!_

_Yes you are, boy! You don't want to get on the wrong side of the Dark Lord!_

_Screw the Dark Lord! He's dead! And if he isn't, Harry Potter will kill him!_

_You're putting you're faith in the Potter boy?_

_Yes I am! Do you have a problem, father?_

_When the Dark Lord comes back don't expect me to save you, Draco! You're beyond it!_

Hermione felt herself being pulled back into reality. She opened her eyes and looked to Draco. He too, was coming around. Remus took his hand off the boys shoulder and looked straight at her. Draco walked slowly up to her and shakily said, "You saw nothing."

Suddenly realising she was crying, she brought her hand to her eyes to wipe the tears. She nodded, swallowed, and sat down at her desk in silence.

12 other pairs of students unsuccessfully attempted to get in each other's head, and before they knew it, the lesson was over.

* * *

"Draco," Hermione called as the class began filing out of the lesson. "If you need to talk to me-"

"I don't."

"If you do," she smiled gently. "If you want to, I'm going to be in the Gryffindor common room. Let me write the password on your hand. Just incase."

"I hate you, Granger," he said, giving her his hand to write on, then fleeing the room to try and catch up with his group.

"Remus," Hermione said, approaching her teacher. "Where were you at breakfast and lunch?"

"I was out with Sirius in Hogsmeade."

"So the potion worked this morning?" she asked.

"It was a miracle, Hermione. Thank you so much."

"So you do feel ok? No side affects or anything. No headaches, no dizziness?"

"Hermione," he said, placing his hands on the sides of her arms. "I woke up this morning with a worse headache that on a full moon, and thanks to you I'm perfectly fine. I'm still piecing together the order of event from last night, but all I do know is that I should be very thankful to you for everything. I really don't know what I would do without you."

"And Sirius?"

He nodded. "He's doing well. Thanks to you, no doubt. He mentioned something about Severus' room, but I'm not so sure how true it is. He's always been a bit of a drama queen, so there is a good chance he's exaggerating."

"Completely."

"Hm?" He walked round to his desk and sat down.

"Anything he's saying is completely true," she clarified, following him and sitting on the edge of his desk.

"And the lake?"

"Yeah, that was me," she laughed.

"Can I ask you something then that may or may not be related to that?" he said in a serious tone.

"Go for it."

"Where did you learn Legilimency?" He was sifting through his books while he spoke, looking for his quill. "There is no way you can just naturally have that skill. You've definitely been working on that for a while."

"I learnt it the same place I learnt Occlumency," said Hermione, picking his quill off the floor and offering it to him.

He accepted the quill with a forced smile. "Which is?"

"Very related to our previous conversation." She looked away, unable to meet his eye.

"Hermione," he said disappointedly. "Please-"

"Hungary," she interrupted. "2 years ago. Well 2 ish years ago. During the war."

"Oh," he muttered, unsure how to respond. It was never really a good idea to bring up the war. Lots of people did a lot of things they probably weren't too proud of, and Remus understood that. "Ok, can I ask you something else?"

"Fire away," she replied, letting the sides of her face fall as she took a deep breath.

"What did you show Harry from your memories?" he asked gently.

Hermione turned round. That wasn't what she was expecting him to say, but it also wasn't something she really wanted to answer. "Something I probably shouldn't have," she replied, "seeing how he reacted."

"Hermione."

"I didn't realise how vivid it would be for him," she said. "I completely forgot that he didn't have any control over stopping the vision. I think I made a bit of a mistake."

"Hermione," he repeated. "What did you show him?"

"It was a natural reaction more than anything," she justified. "It stops a lot of people from trying to get in my head. It's all about keeping certain things at the front of you mind. It's like if you know someone doesn't want to see something, they're going to stop snooping around."

"Hermione..."

"I have a fair idea of what it was," Sirius said, entering the room from wherever he was hiding.

"Oh," Remus said.

"I doubt that," she snorted at his blatant assumption, now realising that is was probably necessary to explain what she was talking about. "I don't know what you two are thinking, but I can assure you it was just a reckless truth or dare where the alcohol levels were through the roof. Gin got a bit crazy and at three separate occasions I found myself throwing up into a bush. If people start noising around my head, they usually start to feel the same way I did that day."

"And when was this?" Sirius laughed, feeling like he had missed out on a whole other side to his wife.

"Just before the war. Ron was being an idiot so Tonks and Gin got me very  _very_  drunk."

"So you didn't show him what I thought you did?" he smirked.

"No!" she implored. "He's already scarred enough from yesterday. Give the boy a break."

"I bet you save that for someone else," Remus chuckled under his breath.

"Yeaaaaaaah..." she muttered, rolling her eyes out of shame. "That's closer to the truth than I'm willing to admit."

* * *

Hermione lay on her back on the floor of the common room, next to her husband, giggling uncontrollably at something he had just whispered in her ear. Harry and Ron walked in through the portrait hole and caught sight of them.

"Sirius," said Harry, walking up to him. "What are you doing here?"

"You alright?" he replied, getting up to embracing the boy. Harry nodded slowly, although it was quite clear he looked like he was going to throw up at any moment. "Are you sure?" Harry nodded a little faster. "Hermione holds quite a lot of power in the school at the moment so I reckon I can get away with showing my face in here."

"You mean her hellhound?" asked Ron. "I heard it's been terrorising the school."

"Something like that," he laughed.

"Well I need to borrow Hermione for a bit," said Ron.

"Oh, really?" Sirius said cautiously.

Hermione propped herself up onto her elbows. "Leave him be, Sirius. He's harmless. What did you need me for, Ronald?"

"You said, um, you wanted to play..."

"Oh, right, yeah. I almost forgot," she smiled. "Bring the board over."

With a puzzled look on his face, Sirius sat back down next to his wife. "Board?" Then he saw the chessboard. "Hermione," he complained, "that's cheating."

"You cheat," she squinted, siting up and setting up the pieces.

"I do nothing of the sort," he replied. "I'm just an outstanding player."

"I will win," she said, crawling over his crossed legs to sit in his lap. "It's just a matter of time."

"Love," he smiled, moving her hair behind her ears so he could whisper. "Last night I was smashed of my face, poisoned, and then I collapsed, but you still lost. How is that even possible?"

"The 'how I always lose' bit or the 'how the dream thing worked even though we were on the opposite side of the castle' bit?"

"Either," he shrugged.

"Well I guess we were technically asleep at the same time. Maybe that's all that matters. I'd have to read up on it though." She held his hand in her own, moving her fingers from fiddling with her own wedding ring, to playing with his. "When it comes to last night's chess though, I'm completely stumped."

"What are you even talking about?" Ron asked, opening with white by commanding his pawn to E4.

"Don't answer that," Harry called from across the room. "Ron, never ask that question."

"Why not?" his friend asked.

"Just trust me on that one, mate," he said. "It's probably not a question you want to know the answer to?"

"So did you find out who spiked our drinks in the end?" Sirius asked, starting a new conversation while Ron contemplated Harry's advice.

"Nope," she lied. "That's going to remain a mystery forever."

"Was it the man I happened to see this morning trying to dredge himself out of the Black Lake?" he said in a low whisper, leaning forward to move a chess piece.

"Maybe," she muttered, watching Ron move and take one of her knights. She reached forward to move her king, but Sirius' hand guided her to a castle instead. (She had always preferred muggle chess to wizard chess, so was persistent on moving the pieces by hand, and forcing Sirius to do the same.)

"Or perhaps the owner of the bed I woke up in this morning?" he continued, laughing softly in her ear.

"Did you like that?" she smirked.

"Merlin, I love you," he said, brushing his nose against hers. "It was actually the best. I had so much fun."

She nodded, leaning forward to move another chess piece. "Nice," she smiled.

"Well," Sirius said, trying to recreate the intimacy of a few second previous, but realising he had said completely the wrong thing, "I can think of one improvement."

"Next time I'll leave Snape in the bed," she snorted.

"That's not quite what I was thinking," he laughed.

"You sure?"

"Snape?" Ron asked, listening into their conversation as he played his next move. "Are you saying you had something to do with why he looked absolutely drenched this morning?"

"Maybe..."

"Well he was asking about you," Ron continued. "He caught me and Harry outside during Remus' lesson and told us to point you in his direction."

"I'm going to have to pass on that lovely opportunity for the time being," she laughed.

"Herm, what have you done now?" Sirius giggled.

"Nothing," she said, acting hurt from his accusation. "You should ask  _him_  what  _he_  did."

"And what  _did_  he do?" he asked playfully.

"He..." She paused.  _Sirius would react badly_ , she thought.  _It wouldn't make the situation any better_. "It doesn't matter what he did. The point is he was an arse and I'm ignoring him until he learns his lesson."

"Check." Hermione looked up. Sirius had been playing without her even realising. And he was winning.

"Sirius, you shouldn't even be playing," she complained. "This is supposed to help me win, not let you prove that you're better than everyone else."

He raised his eyebrows and moved his last remaining bishop. "Checkmate."

"Oh my god, Sirius, you're ruining my game."

"Ruined. Past tense, love," he said cheekily. "The game's over. I won, and I'm not going to apologise for my chess skill."

"Ruining. Present tense," she argued. “You're ruining all my fun."

"Your fun? Oh, Hermione, I  _am_  your fun." He crept his hand around her waist, slowly caressing her skin. Once his hand had reached halfway, he paused. His fingers drifted for a moment, before beginning to crawl downwards.

Her hand shot on top of his. "No," she said, unable to control the smile that was growing on her face. "Don't even think about it."

His other hand moved her hair away from her neck as he kissed her shoulder slowly.

"Sirius," she said in a tone that in no way reflected trying to stop him. "Mmmm... stop."

His hand released from around her waist but she didn't move. "Go on then," he whispered, kissing all the way up her neck. "You're free to go."

They were alone again. Ron must have left once he lost the chess game, and all the other Gryffindors seemed to be missing.

Hermione took a moment to contemplate it.  _Anyone_  could walk through the portrait hole and find them in a... comprising position. She  _really_  didn't want that.

She jumped off his lap. "Catch me if you can," she said, running off, planning to lead him to a slightly less communal part of the school.

Breaking into a sprint around the common room, Sirius ran after her. "Come back here!" he called.

"Make me," she laughed, turning round to see how far away he was, before turning back and-

SLAP!

She ran straight into someone.

"I'm so sor-" She looked up from the black robed forearms she was holding and her face dropped. "Professor Snape," she said. "Good evening."

"Mrs Black, I've been meaning to talk to you," he said.

"So I've heard," she nodded.

"So they  _did_  pass on the message?"

"Yes," she spat. "But I'm probably just too incompetent to understand."

"I never called you incompetent," he snapped.

"No, but it's better than what you did say."

"You threw me. in. a. lake." He pronounced each word through gritted teeth, stressing every syllable.

"Yes, I did." She looked him straight in the eye. "And I don't regret it."

"Well I  _do_  regret what I said."

"And what about poisoning Remus' drinks cabinet?"

"Of course not," he scoffed. "I'd do it again in a split second."

"Even if you thought you'd end up in the lake again tomorrow."

"No lake threat would stop me."

She squinted her eyes a little, then huffed. "You're lying."

He lowered his voice and leaned in an unnoticeable amount. "Yes, I am," he said, eyeing up Sirius. "Because I would rather talk to you without the beady eyes of your husband staring at me the whole time."

"I'm not going anywhere," Sirius scoffed.

"Good for you, mutt."

"Severus," scolded Hermione, "watch your tongue."

"Hermione," he mimicked, "watch your husband."

"Sirius, I'll be right back," Hermione explained. "Just let me deal with this, ok?"

"Granger?" Draco asked, walking through the portrait hole.

Hermione suddenly let go of the forearms she was apparently still firmly gripping. "Malfoy," she smiled, ignoring the two men staring at her as she walked up to him. "I'm glad you decided to pay a visit." She brought him into a long, tight hug.

"I'm obviously not here about that thing in Lupin's lesson," he clarified.

"Obviously," she grinned.

"Mrs Black," Snape called.

"So what can I do you for, Malfoy?" Hermione asked, oblivious to anyone else.

"What if I said I don't know what to do?" They walked to the opposite side of the room, and sat down on a sofa. "I've put so much faith in him. If it doesn't all work out in the end..." He trailed off, not wanting to think about the consequences.

"Draco," said Hermione, calling him by his first name for once. "I promise you, you don't have to do anything your father says. You-Know-Who is dead. Harry killed him. That's a fact. He's not in hiding. He's not building an army. He's dead. That's what the war was for. We  _all_  played our part and we  _all_  took him down. All of us. And that most definitely includes you. It's the Death Eaters that are the real problem now; the ones who don't believe they're fighting a losing battle. The ones that've taken over the Ministry, with their stupid laws, trying anything they can to catch people out. I hate to say this, but your father's one of them."

"You don't know what he's like," Draco said, looking into her eyes for guidance.

"Sirius," she called, not taking her eyes off the boy. "Can I borrow you for a minute?"

He barged smugly past Snape and smiled at the two sitting on the sofa. "Yes?"

"You know your mother?" said Hermione.

"Unfortunately," he replied, rolling his eyes.

"Describe her in one word."

Sirius snickered. "One word? You must be joking. There isn't a single word that could encapsulate the wretched toad that was my mother."

Hermione finally broke eye contact with Draco, giving up her seat to her husband. "I think you two should have a chat," she said.

She walked around to the other side of the common room, watching the two men introduce themselves properly and begin to talk.

"Mrs Black," Snape repeated.

Hermione suddenly grabbed his hand. "You," she spat, dragging him out of the common room.


	31. Fluxweed

"Where are we going?" Snape asked the girl dragging him down the corridor. She led him into an empty room and turned to face him. 

"What the hell is going on with you?" She wasn't loud or aggressive, but it was quite clear that Hermione had had enough. "And don't even try to defend yourself." 

"Hermione," he began, making sure the door was locked. "You know I'm sorry for what I said. You know I have to put on a front around certain people, but that doesn't excuse my behaviour. You have to hear me out, please. I can't make the same mistake twice."

"I don't care what you said," she interrupted.

"What?" He crinkled his eyebrows, staring right at her, out of shock, more than anything. He had prepared himself for her wrath. Where was it? "But I called you a mudblood." The glare intensified when he reassessed what he had just said. Why was he arguing against his own defence?

"I know, sweetie," she said in her signature fed-up-but-also-sarcastic tone. "I was there."

"And I..." He stopped. What was he doing? If she didn't hate him before, he was on his way to making sure she did. Instead of breaking the intense eye contact, he tilted his head slightly looking more intently at her.

"Stop it," she called. "Stop trying to get in my head." Snape looked away immediately, but continued to look confused, at both his behaviour, and hers. "I'm not lying. I'm your friend. I don't care what you call me, as long as you say it to my face. We made a deal, remember?"

And so he did. "We made a pact," he smiled.

"Yeah," she rolled her eyes, "we did." She leaned in closer, and her tone completely shifted. "But if you even so much as think about calling me a mudblood again, and I really don't care if your friends are in town or not, you're going to be waking up in the lake everyday for the rest of you life."

He bit his tongue. "Fair enough."

"See," she smiled, reverting back to her cheerful tone. "I'm telling you straight to your face. If it does happen, it won't be a surprise."

Out of nowhere, and completely out of character, Snape grabbed Hermione and pulled her into a hug. "You have  _no_  idea how much I appreciate you," he said. "I don't deserve your friendship." She wrapped her arms around him and enjoyed the moment. 

"That's probably very true," she snorted. "But I guess after everything we've been through, we're stuck with each other."

"I doubt that," he said. "I'm assuming now that you're back all chummy with Weasley, you aren't going to need me anymore. You're not exactly going to be breaking up with him anytime soon so you won't need to come crying to me."

"I never used to- ... ok maybe like once or twice..."

"I seem to recall a few more times than that."

"Then maybe we should be glad that that particular relationship ended." It was true. She could deny it all she wanted, but she was relieved it had ended. Lavender was just a useful excuse. In the heat of the moment, she had taken it personally, but it wasn't. Ron knew it too. They were never going to last. Looking back, they were too opposite for each other. Not the type of opposite she was with Sirius. He was something special. He was a polar opposite, but he understood her. Ron just wasn't compatible.

"Which relationship are we talking about, exactly?" 

Hermione ignored that comment.

"Severus," she said, breaking the hug. "I'm not going anywhere. Plus you've still got my textbook, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. That ridiculous book that you insist on creating." Hermione could see how his face lit up when she used his first name. She only did that when they were being friendly or sarcastic, and she didn't look very sarcastic.

"Your place, 9 o'clock tomorrow evening?" she asked.

"That works for me," he laughed, watching her turn to the door out of the corner of his eye.

She paused. "I will need you to do something for me, though. If you want this to still work."

His eyes shot up from the floor and looked into hers. "Anything."

"Stop being such an arse. Especially around Sirius."

"What?" he nearly choked.

"You heard me," she said. "I get it, you put up this front around people. I've learnt to accepted that. All I'm saying is you should do something nice once in a while. Smile, or at least stop frowning. Learn to live a little."

"The last time you said that-"

"I know what happened the last time I said that, Severus," she interrupted, slightly louder and faster than she was expecting, so she paused a moment and lowered her voice again. "It was an interesting day. I was drunk and thought I was going to die."

"I don't see the point," he frowned. "How is this even related?"

"Point is, you need to be nicer if you want to get anywhere in life. If you keep up what you're currently doing, I'm not going to be hanging around you much longer."

"But following that logic, why are you even still so nice to me? You've put up with me much longer than you needed to. I  _clearly_  don't deserve it."

"Severus," she said, placing her hand on his shoulder, as if she were a coach about to give a pep talk. "We've been through a lot. We've shared a lot. A lot of stories, a lot of secrets, a lot of trust... I hope. Strangely enough, I get you. But I'm married now and I love Sirius more than anything. I want you two to get along, but that's not going to happen if you stay hellbent on whatever logic you seem to be following. Just, y'know, chill out a bit."

She moved away from the door, and took his hand. He suddenly pulled it away. "No, you don't get what that mutt's done to me."

"Can you not just leave it all in the past? For me?" She took his other hand without him noticing. "I'm not asking you to sleep with him, I'm just saying not to start any fights."

"Hermione," he laughed through his crook teeth. That comment really tickled him. "I love you and all, but I can't promise that. He's too much of a looker."

"Oh, so you  _do_  love me?"

Snape froze. He'd said that aloud. Fuck...

Her smug face was grinning at him, as he grew redder and redder. "In a totally platonic way," he justified. "Obviously."

"Ah, right..."

"I don't think of you like that. I'm not in l-"

"Sweetheart, you're rambling. I get it, I'm irresistible." She would never admit stealing that line from Draco, but it seemed like the right thing.

"So we're good?"

"Yes," she nodded. "We are."

* * *

"Hermione," Neville called when he saw her walking down the corridor. "Wait up. Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "What is it, Neville?" She spoke softly, not wanting to alarm the boy who looked like he had just seen a ghost.

"What did you say to Snape?" he asked nervously.

 Hermione took a breath and rolled her eyes. "What did he do now?" 

"He... he gave me house points."

She brought her hand to her mouth, but not in time to control her laughter.

"I saw him leave the room that you've just come from, and I think he actually smiled." Hermione understood that Neville more than anyone was worried. He had dealt with Snape's wrath for years. If Snape was treating him well, he was usually plotting something. "I don't want to think anything of it, Hermione, but what the hell happened in there?"

"I dunno," she said, trying to work out which part of her conversation would be best to share with him. "I guess I just spoke to him. I mean, I threw him in a lake and ignored him for a bit, and then he just came around."

Neville's jaw dropped. "You threw him in a lake?"

"Um, yeah... about that. You never heard it from me."

"As in the Great Lake?" He pointed out the window. "That one?" She nodded. "As in the one where the squid...?" She nodded again. "And the merpeople...?"

"Yeah, like I said," she winked. "You didn't hear it from me."

He burst into laughter. "When?"

"This morning."

"So when he was walking...?"

"Yep." It made Hermione feel good to see Neville smile. His life got a bit better when he was able to drop Potions, but running into Snape everyday was still hellish. In that same moment she released she should have done something much sooner. He hadn't laughed like that since the war. She remembered it clearly. The day she got back. The day Harry killed Voldemort. She saw him at the hospital and he was in the same hysteria.

"The Black Lake?" he asked again. "That one?"

"Yes, Neville," she laughed. "He got on my nerves, so I spiked his drink and threw him in the lake at 3 o'clock this morning. It took me an  _entire_  hour. I've had so little sleep that I've given Malfoy the password to the common room, I've given Harry motion sickness and I've given Snape a hug."

"See that's where you're clearly lying," Neville interrupted. "There is no physical way anyone could hug Snape. It's a fact. He'd kill you with a glare before you got close enough."

"You wanna bet on that?" she laughed.

 "Granger," said a voice from behind the two giggling Gryffindors. "Thank you," he mumbled, then promptly walked off.

"Malfoy," said Hermione, causing the boy to turn around and head back to her. She, too, took a few steps toward him. "If you need me..."

Draco smiled weakly. "I know," he said. He opened his arms and took a slow step toward her. She gently embraced him. "Sirius makes my situation look like a piece of cake," he whispered, resting his chin on her shoulder. "You know, Granger..." Then he saw Neville. "What's Longbottom doing here?"

"Ignore him," she whispered back. "He won't expose your soft side."

Draco broke the hug and looked to the boy. "Longbottom," he said. "We're cool, aren't we?" Neville didn't know what to say. "You won't tell anyone I have a soft side, will you?"

"Wouldn't dream of it," he smiled awkwardly.

"Seeya tomorrow, Granger, bright and early. I want to see you rough up Snape."

As soon as Draco had left, Hermione's smug face turned to Neville. "Told you, didn't I?"

"And approximately how many guys do you have eating out of your hand?" he laughed.

* * *

Draco was sitting at his desk in his potions room. Hermione made her way towards him and sat down with, "Morning."

"Granger," he smiled, shuffling closer to her. "You're late. Rumour has it you threw Snape in the lake." He crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't want to assume anything, but it fits pretty well considering your situation."

"My situation? What situation?"

He dropped his shoulders. "You're literally the only one who can get away with anything around him. That situation. So is it true?"

"Do you want it to be?"

His face lit up. "Merlin, it is!"

"I didn't say that."

His hands fell to his sides. "Merlin's beard, Granger, I can't believe you... Oh. My. Merlin. Granger!"

"Malfoy, please lower your voice," came Snape's voice as he made his way to the front of the class. "Open your textbooks to..." Everyone was staring at him. Then he saw Hermione. She was smiling, in deep conversation with her friend, compared to the grimaces of the rest of the class, who stared blankly at him. "Close your textbooks."

A few whispers about Snape's state of mind were muffled by the closing of textbooks. "Soaked, head to toe." "She has that hellhound." "Best morning of my life." "So worth whatever punishment he's concocted for us."

"This is all your fault, Granger," Draco whispered to the girl next to him. "You just couldn't keep your hands off of him, and now he's going to take it out on us."

"Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same," she whispered back. 

"I most certainly  _wouldn't_  have done the same," he said, leaning in closer to her as he spoke. "It's one thing to get pissed off at a teacher, it's something very different to throw them in a lake."

"You need to grow some balls, Malfoy," she laughed.

"I can grow as many balls as I like, but I'm never going to think of half the badass ideas you do."

Snape cleared his throat, silencing the class. "I know you've all just received the invitations you've been awaiting all year. I will clearly not have your full attention for my lesson, so I'm going to make you a deal. You all seem to claim to know the syllabus, so if I ask you something, you should get it right. If you do, I'll show you something that you might enjoy that night. If not, you'll be oblivious forever. Except Mr Potter, of course, who thinks he knows everything. After today we will return to free revision unless anyone brings me anything they particularly want to focus on."

Everyone in the room nodded to each other. It  _seemed_  fair enough...

There was a moment of silence before the Potion Professor spoke. "Why do Mr Thomas' combined antidotes never work?"

It was aimed at the class but everyone looked between Harry and Hermione; the only two not to put away their textbooks. Harry started manically flicking through the pages.

"Fair enough," Dean said, buying Harry some time. "Most of the time they do just fizzle away. I can't say I'm particularly proud of-"

"Preferably without consulting Potter or Black?" added Snape, but no one listened.

"The answer's not going to be in the textbook," whispered Ron. "Even your fancy textbook-"

"Temperature?" Harry answered cautiously, talking over Ron.

"And how would temperature affect the potion?" asked his professor.

"I, um," he looked to the textbook but there was nothing other than that single word. "I, um, don't know."

Snape looked to Draco and Hermione. The Slytherin was whispering something in her ear. "Malfoy, is there something you would like to share with the whole class?"

Draco looked up from Hermione. He had been whispering something about her superior textbook and how it could clearly out-do Harry's, but Hermione still refused to lend it to him.

"No, get your own one, or borrow Harry's," she was saying.

"And how do you suppose I do that?" he was asking.

"Ask nicely," she laughed.

"How did you even know it was his old textbook?"

"Unlike someone else," she nodded across the classroom, "I'm not completely handwriting blind."

"Malfoy," Snape spoke over the whispering couple. "Did you want to help Potter with his antidote dilemma?"

"Yeah, it's um," he looked to Hermione, who coughed something under her breath. "Golpalott's Third Law. Obviously."

"Obviously," Snape repeated. "And what is Golpalott's Third Law?"

Draco squinted as he thought about it. "Um, I'm going to have to get back to you on that."

"Granger's rubbing off on him," someone at the back of the classroom whispered to their friend.

"Bet she's doing more than that if Draco can get away with answering back to Snape," their friend whispered back.

The Potions Professor scoffed at the comment, and looked to Hermione. "Enlighten us," he said. 

"A true antidote to a blended poison is more than the sum of its parts," she recited.

"Which means?" he replied just as she had finished speaking.

"You can't just mix all the antidotes together and hope for the best," she quickly replied.

"Why not?" The classes eyes were darting backwards and forwards between the two as they bounced off each other.

"You need something to blend it all together."

"And if you don't?"

"Well, by a simple deduction, one can assume that it will just 'fizzle away'."

"And what would you recommend?"

"Fluxweed."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I like it. It's pretty."

He laughed. It wasn't the friendly laugh she was used to. It was a short, sharp laugh. It was the laugh of the teacher that bullied Neville and Harry for years. It pierced her ears, and if she weren't Hermione, is would probably have pulled her down a few pegs. "You can't build a potion around what looks particularly nice."

"Of course you can. I just did."

"And you think it would work?" She didn't mind him talking down to her. She knew he didn't mean it. She’d spent the last few years trying to change his behaviour, knowing he didn't want to hurt her, and years before that just putting up with his attitude. It wasn't going to put her off anytime soon.

"It did. You're still alive, aren't you?" Someone dropped their wand in sheer shock. The wood bounced and rolled across the stone floor, but no-one cared. They were all too focused on the performance in front of them.

"I'm sorry, what?" asked Snape. Were they really going to get into this now?

"People don't just recover from Valerian poisoning like that." She clicked her fingers. "Hypothetically, of course."

It seemed they  _were_  getting into it. "Ah, and in that particular hypothetical, what happens to the poisoned party?"

"They spend the rest of their life completely oblivious as to how they ended up wherever they happened to wake up." Her face stayed unchanged. Hermione couldn't let herself shed any type of emotion.

"Wherever they happen to wake up?" On Snape's end, however, emotions were a little harder to control. They may have already talked it through in private, but airing dirty laundry was always going to cause some type of reaction.

"Yes, wherever it may be. They would be completely oblivious as to how they got there."

"Are you suggesting that the poisoner is also the one to provide the antidote?"

"I suppose in that particular hypothetical it would make sense."

"Hm, interesting." Snape clocked the other students reactions. He wasn't quite sure what Hermione was trying to achieve, but it seemed to be doing something.

"But I'm sure there must also be many other explanations."

Snape nodded once, taking his time to express a lot of sarcasm through squinting. "Such as?"

"I wouldn't know. You'd have to ask someone that would think to do it in the first place."

"Anyone in mind."

Hermione paused for a second. "Not off the top of my head, no."

The class was stunned silent.

His back to the class, Snape began to chalk a few words on the board. "Try brewing this and see what happens," was all he said. It was not something they could have found in their textbooks. Hermione barely recognised it either. She knew the ingredients, so had a fair idea what she would make, but it was all still very vague.

* * *

Hermione sat sideways on her chair, watching Draco flick a dusty powder into the cauldron. "Aren't you going to help?" he asked.

"Nope."

"I don't know how he puts up with you sometimes. You must drive him insane."

"He loves me really."

"I meant Snape, not Sirius."

"Oh, I know."

"Sure, Granger. I'll believe that when I see it."

"Speak of the devil."

"Malfoy," Snape said, handing him note. "They're reopening the investigation."

"What investigation?" asked Hermione.

"My dad," said Draco. "He's been causing a bit of trouble, but you already knew that."

"That does explain one thing," she said, looking subtly towards her teacher. "How bad is it?"

"Well he was here yesterday," Draco said skimming over the note, "but apparently he couldn't find me. I must have been in the Gryffindor common room. To be honest I really don't care what he has to say." He folded the note and put it in his pocket. "I'm not going to help him and his gang of supremacists terrorise his way out of trouble."

"I see you've been talking to some strongly opinionated people," Snape snorted, adding a pinch of the same powder to the cauldron. "What do you think your father's going to make of that?"

Draco shrugged. "Don't care. Sirius survived. I don't see why I can't do the same."

"Did he tell you  _how_  he survived?"

"Yep. Hermione's adopting me."

"Am I?" she asked in clear bemusement.

"Yeah," he nodded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm moving in this weekend."

"I'll believe that when I see it, Malfoy," she laughed.

"Speaking of which-"

"Speaking of which, shut your mouth," Hermione snapped.

"Or what?"

"I'll get my hellhound on you."

"I'll tell him exactly what you said."

"Go on then. I dare you."

"Actually, Granger, you know what, I'm going to let that one slide."

A few coloured sparks began to shoot out of the cauldron. They began to get more and more violent, so Draco decided it would be best to hide behind Hermione. "And why exactly are we making fireworks?" she asked the boy.

"Fireworks? Oh, right. Snape obviously wasn't just trying to kill us," Draco mumbled. "Well I suppose they would be quite fun at the ball."

"What ball?" Hermione asked, her arm around the slightly shaken Slytherin.

"Didn't you get the invitation this morning?"

"I was at Hogsmeade."

"Oh, well there's a ball. A week after all the exams finish. It's just for 6th and 7th years though, so I can't bring 'Storia."

Hermione groaned. "And I can't bring Sirius."

Turning to look at her, he met her gaze. "You know..."

"I would love to go with you, Malfoy."

"You know, fireworks and all, it's all quite romantic."

"Don't push it," she laughed, not moving her arm from around him. She rested the side of her head on his shoulder and watched the display slowly fizzle away, very similarly to Dean's combined antidotes.

* * *

Hermione made her way to dinner after her free, heading straight to the Slytherin table, much to the disgusts of Astoria.

"Malfoy!"

"Granger! Sit down. I have to tell you what Trelawney was saying while you were in the library."

"Let me guess. She told everyone that Harry was going to die. Again."

He shook his head. "She's given up on convincing us that. It's so two years ago. She thinks there's a murderer in the school."

"Come on, Dracey. Let's go."

"Not now, Astoria," he huffed, then turned back to Hermione and lowered his voice. "Anyway, she was saying how there seems to be something dark in the Gryffindor tower."

"Ok...? Why are you tell me?"

" 'Cause Trelawney spends a lot of time talking to McGonagall, and it's your dog. She's going to start getting suspicious."

"Sirius never murdered anyone. He was wrongly convicted."

"Draco, come on!"

"Astoria, please, I need some room to breathe around here. Go braid your hair or whatever you do when you're not following me around. Anyway, Granger, you're the one with a 'hellhound' in your bed."

"A completely innocent 'hellhound' and a completely innocent husband. Plus I don't see how she would every find out about him. I don't take Divinations."

"That's not how things went down this afternoon... It's not quite..."

"Not quite what? What happened?"

"Well, Trelawney said there was something dark in the common room... And someone happened to comment on your return to that dorm..."

"Ok... go on."

"Astoria, for the love of Merlin, go away."

"No! Not until you stop talking to her."

"Now you're just embarrassing me. Lower your voice. What do you want from me? Because I-"

"I want you to treat me like your wife! Not some girl you par off at any given opportunity."

Hermione nodded at her friend. "Tell me later." She locked her arm tightly around the girl who was about to explode, and walked her out, not looking back. "I'm guessing Draco does this a lot," she smiled, trying to calm the Slytherin. "Let me tell you now, they really don't get any more mature as they get older."

"You don't get it," she said, trying to wriggle free. " _You_  are the problem."

"Am I really?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah... well no, but I prefer to blame you," the girl said on the verge of tear. "It makes everything much easier."

Hermione led her into the closest empty classroom. "Hey, it's ok. Draco can really be an arse sometimes. I had to put up with it for 6 and a half years, so trust me, I know."

"You don't understand," she cried. "He's supposed to be my husband. He's suppose to love me. He's supposed to want to be around me. He doesn't even acknowledge me sometimes. He seems to care more about you than me."

Hermione hugged the poor girl who was letting her tears stream. "I've got an idea," she said. "Come to a girls' night with me and Ginny. We can show you how to make sure Draco really appreciates you. But for now, give him some space. Come eat lunch at the Gryffindor table. Trust me, his face will be..."

"Priceless." The girls laughed as Hermione sorted out Astoria's tears.

* * *

"Ginny, you know Astoria, right?" she said, sitting and making space for the new addition to the group. "She's with us now."

"Why?" Ron asked.

" 'Cause I said so," Hermione stated. "And I have a pet hellhound that would literally eat you if you even so much as looked at me wrong."

"Fair enough. So, Astoria, what brings you to this table?"

"Ronald, she's a married woman."

"I didn't mean it like that," he said.

"Aw, he's all embarrassed," Astoria giggled. "I don't mind. I need a nice way to get back at Draco anyway."

"Don't mind if I do," Ron said, moving round to sit between her and Hermione.

"Oy, you two. No funny business," Hermione said, promptly making Ron move his arms off of the two girls' shoulders.

* * *

"Fluxweed," Snape chortled. "Fluxweed?"

"It works," Hermione justified. "I used it in my super potion. Fluxweed saved a lot of people's lives in the war. You included. It cured Harry, Ron, Sirius, Neville, many, many others, and lastly you. If you would have preferred, I could have just let Nagini kill you. She was having her way with everyone else." Hermione was sitting on the table in the empty potions classroom, the way she was so used to every Tuesday evening.

"Fluxweed?" he repeated.

"Fluxweed."

"Because it's pretty?"

"Not only is it pretty, it also works. Find me a more effective base. I guarantee you won't."

"But it's not very conventional."

"Do I look like the conventional type?"

Snape snorted. "No."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not answering that while I'm being eyed up by that dog again."

Hermione didn't even need to look up from her textbook. "Sirius stop staring. It's rude."

She suddenly felt two arms lace around her in their usual fashion. "Make me," he whispered in her ear.

Hermione swivelled around to face her husband, while Snape disappeared to an undisclosed location to avoid having to watch them. "What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting to see you 'til later."

"I was thinking about it," he began, referring to the havoc he'd enjoyed discussing that morning over coffee in Hogsmeade. "We could do it."

"No, we couldn't."

"Why not? Give me one valid reason why we can't?"

"I'll give you a valid reason why we shouldn't," replied his wife.

"That's not what I asked for," Sirius smiled cheekily. "Do you want to?"

"Oh, you have no idea," she laughed. "I'm just trying to think realistically though."

"Realistic, shpealistic," he groaned, biting her bottom lip and leaning into her even more. "I bet we could get away with it, and that's all that matters."

Her hands, which were making their way around his back, pulled him in, tighter still. Her teeth met his top lip and she could taste him. Eyes fluttering shut, she groaned under her breath.

"I'm glad you're having fun," a heavily sarcastic voice came from behind Sirius.

After a few seconds, Hermione broke the kiss and looked over her husband's shoulder. "What can I do for you?" Hermione asked.

"What can you do for me?" Snape scoffed. "Hermione, this is my classroom."

"Oh, yeah... sorry 'bout that. Got a little carried away."

"I can see that," he said judgementally, but before he could add anything, the door cracked open.

"Severus, I've been meaning to talk to you regarding Minerva's little compet-" The startled professor paused. "Oh," he coughed. "Hermione, Sirius, what are you two doing here?"

"A valid question, Reems," Hermione laughed. As she moved, she could feel how close Sirius stood, and how he inched closer any chance he could get. "I've been asking myself the same question."

"No," Remus said, trying to ignore what he had walked in on. "I mean Minerva is probably about to enter this room any seconds, so if I were you, I would-"

"Severus? Remus?" a voice called. It was too late.

"Can I just give up?" Hermione whispered, resting her head against Sirius chest.

"I wish," he whispered back. "It's time to face the music."

"Sirius Black?" McGonagall blinked a few time in disbelief. "What a pleasant surprise."

"Minnie McGee," he sung, smiling obliviously. "The pleasure is all mine. Well, look at the time." He looked quickly to his wrist, ignoring the fact that there was no watch. "Best be off." He offered his hand to help Hermione pop off the table. Back on her feet, she adjusted her skirt back down to a more appropriate length, and nodded goodnight to the three teachers.

Within 10 seconds, Sirius had swiped something off of one of the desks and they were out of the classroom; something well deserving of a high five.


	32. Return of The Slumber Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ****  
>  _A/N: This chapter is a bit controversial and I know some of you guys may not like where I’m going with the story but let me say this: Things are very rarely what they seem. Some people's memories are better than others. Sometimes the cold hard truth isn’t as cold or hard as you expected._  
>  ****

 

"What time do you call this?" Ginny called across the common room. She was sitting on one of the sofas, arms crossed, and wand light creating eery shadows of her face on the wall behind her.

"Time that you were in bed," Hermione countered. She had just stepped through the portrait hole, and didn't realise someone would be in the room on the other side.

"And where were you?" the girl asked.

"You really wanna know?" a deep, mischievous voice behind Hermione answered.

"Yes," Ginny replied quickly, unable to hide her excitement and surprise behind her mothering tone.

"If I were you, I would avoid using-"

"Don't tell her," Sirius argued.

"She's going to find out tomorrow anyway," Hermione whispered.

"Yeah, leave that surprise for tomorrow then," he whispered back.

"I haven't seen Snuffles around anywhere today," Ginny interrupted. "I assumed he was with you or something. Should we be worried?"

Hermione covered Sirius' mouth before he could say anything. " 'Course not, Gin. I'm sure he's just fine. Have you seen 'Storia today?" His hands crept around her waist, and, smiling, she slid hers on top.

"Yeah, she's sleeping in your bed."

"What? My bed?" Hermione began to stroll through the common room, hand-in-hand with her husband.

"Girls' night was tonight. You missed it." Ginny didn't look at her friend. Instead, she inspected her nails, fiddling particularly with the finger that wore her engagement ring.

"Gin, it's midnight. A true girls' night doesn't start until at least one. Especially when I've got Astronomy." Hermione's smile greeted the girl when she finally looked up.

"Yeah, ok, you got me there," said Ginny, who led her through the common room to the girls' dorm and held the door open. "Tonks bet you would miss it 'cause she thought you'd be too ' _preoccupied_ ', but I was sure you'd be here."

"What about me?" Sirius asked, over-dramaticising feeling hurt.

"If you can get up these stairs, feel free to join us," Ginny laughed.

* * *

"Your first time?" Ginny asked, sipping on a glass of water and offering another one to each of her friends. "You all know way to much about mine. I want to know all about yours."

Hermione took a sip and smiled. "Like the good Christian my parents raised me to be, I waited until there was a ring on my finger," she said.

"What? Like a week?" Ginny laughed.

"Pretty much," she smiled. "Something like that."

"Same," said Astoria. "Tonks?"

"I'm not answering that," she said. "I don't want to upset Gin."

"CEDRIC!" Hermione coughed. She received a swift pillow to the stomach.

"Cedric Diggory?" asked Astoria. 

The girls all nodded.

"He's gorgeous," she giggled. "How'd you manage that?"

"We knew each other quite well when I was at Hogwarts," explained Tonks. "He was a Hufflepuff too, so we spent a fair amount of time together. Cho left him quite soon after the Triwizard Tournament hype died down and I think you can guess the rest."

"All too well," teased Hermione.

"If you can get Cedric, you can help me with Draco," said Astoria. "You clearly have some serious magic in that department."

"What do  _you_  think you should do?" she asked.

"Maybe I should corner him," Astoria contemplated. "I mean, how else is he ever going to talk to me?"

"Bad idea," Sirius casually disagreed, crawling under the infamous pillow fort to joins the gaggle of girls. He kissed Hermione's cheek and sat down next to her.

Ginny almost jumped when she realised it was him. She lifted one of the duvets that formed the roof to check the dorm door. How did he get in? "But...? You...?"

"Draco will just hate you even more," he continued, ignoring a startled Ginny. "Nice fort by the way," he whispered to Tonks, before turning back to Astoria. "What you need to do is give him a reason to  _want_  to be around you, because it's quite clear that at the moment you just annoy him. Find something you both have in common. Build on that."

"Like what?" asked Astoria, dubiously.

"Whatever you're into," he shrugged. "D'you like Quidditch?" The girl nodded. "Well there you go, try that."

"And it'll work?" she asked, raising her eyebrows in disbelief. "Just like that?"

"Herm?" Sirius winked.

Hermione looked straight back at him. She wasn't going to lie. Sirius had definitely attempted a different approach, and she wasn't about to back him up. "No, but if you get him exceedingly drunk one night you can claim whatever you want the next day and he won't remember or be able to argue any different." Her dead-pan facial expression threw everyone off for a second, before Ginny erupted into a fit of laughter.

"I think I'm going to go with the first option for now, but thanks," Astoria laughed.

"Wait a second," Tonks interrupted, very seriously, compared to the other girls. "You still don't know what happened that night?"

"What night?" Ginny blurted. "Explain!"

"Oh. My. Merlin. You haven't even told Ginny."

"There's nothing to tell," Hermione stated, shaking her head. "I don't remember anything."

Ginny, Tonks and Astoria shot a look at the couple.

"Okaaaaaay," Ginny said sarcastically. "If you say so." She took a deep breath, eyeing Hermione up and down. "By that I mean I don't believe you," she clarified, pointing at her friend. "We both know what I'm talking about, and you're so going to tell me everything later or so help me Merlin I will tell him everything."

"Gin, he knows," Hermione laughed. "You can't blackmail me that easily."

"Knows what?" Tonks beamed. 

Astoria was loving it. She sat back and watched everything play out.

Ginny turned to Sirius. "She told you about that night? She told you about the list?" Ginny questioned cut-throatly.

”List?" he asked. "What list?" Hermione hadn't backed up his little lie earlier so he had no intention of helping her out of her sticky situation.

She turned back to Hermione, crossing her arms. "Spill. Everything. Now."

"You better not tell everyone like you normally do," Hermione began.

Ginny shook her head. "Promise."

Hermione shuffled a little to get comfortable. "Ok, so the day after we got the letters from the Ministry about the Law, I got in a bit of a row with Ron. The next day I rocked up at Grimmauld Place and Remus was kind enough to offer me a place to stay until the term started. I got very, very drunk that night. I wasn't thinking. We all know that me and alcohol aren't a good combination, and yet I cared more about forgetting Ron than anything."

"At least it wasn't my fault this time," Tonks scoffed.

"Anyway," Hermione continued. "So you know how I get when I'm drunk?"

”What, you mean trying to shag anything that moves?” Ginny blurted.

Hermione hung her head. "Yes," she said. "Though, in my defence, I didn't actually sleep with anyone that night."

"Yes," said Ginny. "Thanks to me. If I didn't stop you, goodness knows what you would have done."

"Or who," Tonks added.

"Say that again. I dare you," Hermione challenged, jumping up from the pillow she had been sitting on. Her pyjamas weren't very threatening, but her facial expression made up for that.

Tonks stood too. She wasn't as tall as Hermione, but that mean't her head wasn't dragging against the duvet covers that formed the ceiling. "I regret very little from that night," she replied. "You can't use it against me."

"No, but Remus it a real talker when he's drunk," she snapped.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she retorted.

"Well,  _I_   _was_  the one mopping him off the floor two nights ago."

"Hm. What did he say?" Tonks broke out into little giggle, laughing at herself more than anything, and trying to hide it behind the hand covering her mouth. "I bet it's really incriminating, isn't it?" she mumbled.

"I think it's best that it stays between me and ol' Moony," Hermione laughed, grinning uncontrollably.

"Fine. Back to your story of embarrassment." The girls both sat back down completely casually.

"Right, so I got very drunk," Hermione continued. "Very very drunk. As did Sirius. In my usual  _flirt-with-anything-that-moves_  mood, I, um, actually, I don't remember anything from that point onward. The next thing I remember is waking up in his bed."

"Wait! What?!" Ginny's jaw dropped to the floor. 

Sirius looked smug. Ridiculously smug. He was silently laughing, hugging one of the pillows.

"My thoughts exactly," said Hermione. "I couldn't find my clothes or my memories." Apparently Ginny's jaw  _could_  drop further, and with that comment it did. "It was bloody terrifying. Then  _Mr I'm-A-Ten-Even-When-I'm-Hungover_  walks through the door in only a towel and I freak the fuck out."

Sirius' laughter was now audible.

"Oh yeah," Tonks laughed. "I forgot about that  _enormous_  crush."

"Crush?" Sirius' ears pricked up. "What crush?"

"You, you idiot," Hermione said, hiding her face in hands. "Who do think we've been talking about this entire time?"

His grin doubled in size. "And how long have you been harbouring that?"

"I'm not answering that on the grounds that... that... no."

He leaned into her, wrapping an arm around from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder. His nose caressed her cheek, which was getting redder and redder.

Hermione didn't move. She wasn't going to let his gloating have any effect on her. His hot breath tickled her neck, and as much as she tried to purse her lips, she couldn't hide the grin that slowly began to form. Gently turning her head, she brushed up against him, whispering, "I am so going to kill you later."

He suddenly let go of her and sat back on his own cushion, being sure to keep his hands to himself. “And that, ladies," he said, addressing the rest of the group, "is how you build a marriage."

"I don't envy you anymore, 'Mione," said Ginny. "You have fun with that one."

"Oh, don't think Harry's going to be any easier to deal with," said Hermione, prepared to recount everything that Harry had done in the previous six years.

"He takes after his father," added Sirius. "Biggest troublemaker there ever was." His face dropped. "Goodness knows what he'd be up to if he was..."

Hermione took her husbands hand and interlaced her fingers with his. She squeezed it and muttered something under her breath. He snorted. 

"Yes, exactly," he laughed. "That was actually James' idea. Technically he should get credit for whatever happens."

"Sirius," said Tonks. He looked up her and smiled. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." He rolled his eyes. "Obviously."

"No," Hermione interrupted. "This always end badly. The last time we all played properly-"

"Spoil sport," Ginny coughed.

"I'm not letting you get Sirius involved-"

"I can handle myself," he protested.

"No, sweetheart, you really can't."

Ginny and Tonks looked at each other and fell into a spontaneous fit of laughter. "You... you..." Ginny couldn't even finish her sentence.

"You gave your..." Even Tonks couldn't finish the sentence for her.

"And the... the barman..." Ginny was bend double, bawling her eyes out. 

"What did you do exactly?" Sirius whispered in her ear.

"Whenever I'm being a spoil sport the girls bring up some of my less... prudent moments. I..." She looked to the girls rolling around on the floor, then back up to Sirius. "I got drunk one time and gave my bra to the barman in the Leaky Cauldron."

"Barman? As in Tom?"

"Dear Merlin no!"

"Then who was it?"

She muttered something inaudible.

Sirius leaned in closer, resting his chin on the hand that was still holding hers. "Hm?"

"Remus was picking up one of the shifts," she mumbled. "Tonks had been staring at him all night. I, um, dared her to talk to him and she said 'Yeah, right, after you give him your bra', so I, um... I did."

"Great minds think alike," he smiled. "I did something very similar to Rosie down at The Three Broomsticks in my fifth year. I'm still barred."

She looked up at him. "You already knew about it, didn't you?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "Remus may have mentioned it at one point or another."

"You still up for that dare," Tonks interrupted.

"Of course I am," replied Sirius, letting go of Hermione's hand and getting up.

She ushered him over to where she was sitting and whispered something in his ear. He looked back to his wife, who hadn't taken her eyes off of him, and back to Tonks. "Ok," he said. "Done."

"I really hope you don't actually plan on doing that," said a stern-faced Hermione.

"Firstly, yes I do. Secondly, how do you know what she said?" Sirius countered.

"Firstly, it's Tonks. It's going to be something... interesting. Secondly, I'm a Legilimens and you're practically shouting inside your head."

"Oh, so now you're resorting to reading my mind," he snapped. "Very mature."

"You think I have any choice in it?" she retorted. "You think I  _want_  to be Legilimens?"

"Yeah, I do actually," he replied. "It takes a long time to master that. I've barely got my head around Occulmency and it took me a good few years."

"Well good for you," she said. "It took me a week to master both. Unlike some, I didn't have the luxury of time. I jumped straight in at the deep end and hoped for the best."

"I don't know if I quite believe you," he spat.

"Have I ever lied to you?" she snapped.

Sirius squinted at her. "And who exactly taught you then? Dumbledore? McGonagall? Because there's no way you could have mastered it that quickly by yourself."

"Firstly, don't underestimate me. Secondly, I think we both know who it was."

"Slimy bastard..." he huffed.

"Give him a break."

"Have I missed something?" Astoria whispered to Ginny, who was also watching from the sideline.

"You and me both," replied Ginny. "But my money's on 'Mione for this round."

"This round? Do they normally fight like this?"

"Not since before the war," Tonks explained. "Everyone had to move into Grimmauld Place over that summer when the Burrow got overturned. They spent one week bickering like an old married couple before Hermione packed her stuff and left. No one really knows where she went, but when she came back she'd made a super potion, so no one really cares."

" _She_  was the one that made  _THE_  Super Potion? I thought it was just a rumour."

"Nope. It exists," said Ginny. "I mean it took her a few weeks to track down everything she wanted and make it, but she got there in the end. I think it was like Bulgaria or Romania or somewhere like that. Most of the ingredients are like illegal or something in this country."

"So let me get this straight," said Astoria. "Hermione spends days arguing with Sirius, then she goes on some potion scavenger hunt to make the most powerful modern potion known to wizard kind just to get away from him. She, according to Draco, has the potions professor in the palm of her hand-”

"You forgot the bit where he also taught her Occlumency and Legilimency and gave her that textbook," Ginny added.

"Yeah, that too. So she had the choice between a cheating boyfriend, her best friends' godfather who she hated, or someone she had apparently has a lot in common with and who really gets her."

"Two things," said Ginny, counting them on her fingers. "Firstly, add Draco and Remus to that list. The enemy-turned-best-friend, and the adorable werewolf she gave a bra to. Secondly, she didn't hate Sirius. Far from it actually."

"Ok," agreed Astoria. "She may not have hated him, but they most certainly didn't like each other or get along. The real question is why didn't she just marry Snape?"

Both Hermione and Sirius froze exactly were they were. Mid-sentence. Mid-argument. They simultaneously looked to Astoria, who felt like she had just blasphemed from the looks she was getting.

"Don't, um, don't... get me wrong," the girl tried to justify. "I, um, I just, um, mean, like..."

Sirius looked back to Hermione, and Hermione looked at Sirius. 

"She makes a valid point, you know," said Sirius. "You defend him an awful lot."

"And you protect Remus an awful lot," she laughed nervously. "Doesn't mean you two are..." She stopped and looked into his eyes. There was little glimmer at the mention of his name. "Merlin, you have, haven't you?" Her eyes doubled in size and she lost control of her jaw. She was in shock.

"You shouldn't be looking in my mind," he said coldly.

"I'm not," she replied slowly. "I'm being your wife and making a deduction."

"And Snivellus?"

"I don't want to talk about  _that_ ," she said, too intrigued in Sirius' history to remember to think about what she said before she said it. "It wasn't supposed to happen. It was a mistake."

"Hm," Sirius huffed. "Each to their own I guess."

"Let's never talk about this again." Sirius didn't reply. "Sirius?"

"I'm just thinking about how the whole announcement would have gone down with him instead of me." A small smile crept across his face. "I would kill to have seen Molly's reaction."

Hermione's face fell into her hands.

" 'Mione?" Ginny asked. "Are you ok?" 

The girl looked up at her friend for deadly serious moment. Silent tears began to stream down her face. 

"Hermione?" asked Sirius, placing a hand on her leg. She looked to him. She was crying, but she wasn't sad.

"Oh Merlin," she laughed. "I'm sorry, I was just imagining that." She paused a second to try and control her laughter in order to complete full sentences that weren't broken up by chuckles. "My dad would have swung at him," she finally snorted.

"That's not something to joke about, Hermione," he smiled. "I was that close to having my nose broken."

"Molly would have hexed him off the edge of the planet," she continued, trying and failing to stop laughing. Even after wiping her tears away, her eyes began to well again.

"I don't believe you," Ginny interrupted. Hermione wiped the last of her tears and looked up at her friend, while her hand seemed to find her husband's again. "I spiked your drink with Veritaserum earlier. I know Sirius was your first time."

"I know you spiked my drink, Gin," said Hermione. "I'm not an idiot."

"Veritaserum's tasteless and colourless. You can't have known," Ginny announced.

"Whoever told you that lied." Hermione sarcastically exaggerated rolling her eyes for effect. "If you don't brew it properly it's slightly tangy."

"I don't want to know how you know that," Sirius added.

"Probably true," she nodded. "I'm guessing that's the one Draco tried to make last week. He really messed up the temperatures on it."

* * *

Hermione's attempt at a diversion wasn't working. That was clear when Ginny asked her to 'prove it'.

"Prove what?" asked Hermione. "Taste the water yourself. It's slightly tangy."

"No," Ginny said. "I still don't believe you and Snape... y'know... shagged." 

"And how do you suppose I prove it?" said a reasonably-thinking Hermione. "What would it take to resort your faith in me? I've spent weeks telling you that I'm not shagging him and you didn't believe me. It can't be that impossible for you to think that something might have happened in the past."

"Past? You're 18. You don't have much of a past."

"You know you sound like your mother," Hermione stated.

"I bet she would have said something along those lines," commented Sirius in Hermione's ear. "And I doubt Remus would've backed Snivellus up."

“You know, he would probably have tried, but we both know you would’ve been spurring Molly on the whole time.”

"Touché."

"Maybe mum was right," said Ginny. "How old were you when it apparently happened?"

"Old enough," replied Hermione. "Ask him yourself if you don't believe me."

"He's going to lie," Tonks explained. "He's never going to admit anything, ever."

Ginny crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. "I want proof."

Hermione looked to Sirius. She wanted permission more than anything. She wanted to know that talking to Snape about it was ok. Opening an old wound would be bad enough for her; she wanted to know that her husband wouldn’t feel just as awkward. She’d just admitting to sleeping with a certain man in her past. It would have been more that reasonable for Sirius to turn around and say no.

Nothing. That's what she got. His mind was locked away. 

He was silent for painfully long minutes, before he finally exhaled. "Ok," Sirius said. "I'm only agreeing because, more than anything, I'm curious." Ginny beamed beyond belief. "But," he added. “Tell him anything he does to you I'll do to him."

Ginny leapt up from her seat and grabbed her friend's hand, pulling Hermione up. "Come on, then."

"Make sure you tell him," Sirius repeated, after receiving a kiss on the cheek from his wife.

"I'm sorry," said Hermione. "I've barely admitted it to myself. Plus I really didn't want you to think badly of me."

"Love, I've shagged Moony. We're even."

Hermione shook her head in disbelieve. How could that have possibly made up for it? He didn't lie about it. "Yeah, but Remus is adorable. Given the opportunity, anyone would.”

"Hermione," he said in a low voice. "I'm not angry. It's your life. I'm not going to hold it against you."

"But you should," she said sincerely.

"That's not how it works, Herm. You're stuck with me forever. It's going to take much more than that to scare me off."

"I love you."

"I know," he said. "That's why you apparently want to embarrass yourself in front of your friends."

"I've got to at least  _try_  to prove it to Gin. She'll hate me forever if I don't."

Hermione’s logic tickled Sirius. The girl code was not something he’d ever engaged it. He didn’t see why it meant so much to his wife, but for some reason it did, so that meant it also mattered to him. “We can talk about it later. What do you think about that?" Hermione nodded. "Good. We'll clear the air then. You can explain everything because, correct me if I’m wrong, but you were smashed of your face.” Hermione couldn’t help but blurt a laugh at that. She nodded.

With that, Tonks and Astoria joined Ginny's kidnap of Hermione. The three girls dragged their friend down the stairs, out of the common room, and all the way to the dungeons.

* * *

At one point, they ran into McGonagall and Dumbledore, but Tonks simply explained that they were in the middle of a manic game of truth or dare and they needed proof of Hermione's dare or it wouldn't count. Dumbledore understood completely and allowed them to continue on their way.


	33. Proof

"Hermione, it's the middle of the night, what's going on?" Snape squinted. She had been walking back and forth in front of his room, trying to talk herself out of backing out. Ginny watched disapprovingly, as she waited around the corner for Hermione to knock on his door. She never did.

"I, um, wanted to talk to you," she whispered. "It, um, can't really wait."

“Well, your constant pacing of the corridor is going to keep me up anyway, so you may as well come in,” he said. Ginny, Tonks and Astoria had just managed to sneak past him and hide in the room in that moment.

"Yeah, sorry, I should really stop doing that," apologised Hermione. "Old habits, eh?"

She was ushered through the classroom but she stopped herself before she got halfway to his desk.

"Can we talk?" she asked nervously.

"Of course," he said, turning to face her, looking relatively concerned. "What's going on? It's not Black, is it? He's not being an arse again?"

"He's always being an arse," she smiled. "But he's my arse."

"That's not what I meant-"

"I know," she interrupted, not wanting Ginny or Tonks to get involved in that whole malarkey. She'd sorted out his dreams. Albeit in a way that still confused her, but she really didn't want to open that can of worms now. The next few minutes were going to be awkward enough. "I wanted to talk about us..."

“I wasn’t aware there was an us anymore,” he laughed painfully. "You have a loving husband, not some immature boyfriend that you break up with every other second. Well," he rolled his eyes, "I think immature could still describe Black accurately, but you don't need to play happy families anymore, Hermione," he said quietly, but Ginny could just make out what he was saying. "The war is over and I assumed we put all of that behind us. The only one who ever had a problem with that was Crookshanks. I-"

"Severus," Hermione began, raising her hand to his face, just as he stepped away.

"No," he said, pulling her hand down. "Don't do this."

"Severus, please," she raise her other hand, which he also grabbed.

"Hermione, what's going on?" he asked sternly. "Talk to me."

“I told Sirius about us,” she blurted. There must have still been Veritaserum in her system.

"You did what?" He blinked a few times in disbelief and looked away. "I've spent everyday since that trip covering for you," he said, clenching his jaw and flaring his nostrils. "How could you? Why would you?"

"No no no, I don't mean that," she said. "Not that. I just... I just told him we had a thing one time. I didn't say anything else." She, too, looked away.

"You think that makes it any better?" Snape lowered his voice again, talking quietly enough for the girls to only barely make out a few of the words from his mouth.

“What, and you didn’t tell anyone?" she snapped.

"No. How could I? Who would I've told? You're a muggleborn and I was working for Voldemort at the time. I would most definitely've been given to the Dementors."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she mumbled. “Didn’t really think that one through, did I…”

"What is going on, Hermione?" he said patiently. "For real this time. Are you ok?"

She'd proven her point, hadn't she? Ginny wasn't going to argue anymore. The girl had overheard the whole conversation. But she owed it to her other friend to at least warn him. Ginny would make a mistake. She was guaranteed to mess it up at one point or another. She could never keep her mouth shut. Hermione couldn't let her friend find out like that. "No," she finally said. "Ginny didn't believe me."

"I would've liked to have thought that that meant you left it and accepted that no one should know, but I don't think that's particularly why she's hiding in the cupboard."

"She wants a confession," Hermione explained.

He smiled and leaned into her. His lips brushed her ear and she could feel hot breath as he spoke. "Not going to happen," he said, and then stepped away.

"I know," said Hermione, picking up his hands. "I don't want you to."

"But you do want something," he replied softly. "Or you wouldn't be here."

"Apparently Ginny doesn't trust me-"

"Oh," he said quite loudly. "Right."

"No no, I'm quite done with whatever we had," she quickly said in a low voice. "I think you've implied it enough and I'm sure she has to believe me now."

"You sure you don't want to confuse them even further? We could put on quite the show," he laughed.

"A minute ago you said we shouldn't."

"It's just for show," he defended. “Nothing would actually happen and you know I wouldn't mean anything by it."

"That's all it ever was, Severus. We would joke around and pretend because we had nothing better to do. It was only ever an act." His face fell. "Well, that first time wasn't. That was quite real, but in our defence I think we were both way too drunk and close to death to really care."

"Come on, Hermione," he urged. "One last show?"

"Oh," she said, ignoring that comment. "And Sirius says anything you do to me he'll do to you."

"I can live with that," he joked. "Your friends are staring." It was true. They hadn't taken their eyes off of the two the entire time. Ginny was convinced. She was never going to question Hermione again. She watched Snape let go of Hermione's hands as he stepped closer. "It's now or never."

* * *

A sudden sharp pain spread across Ginny’s ribs. Astoria's elbow had swung at her. She held her breath. She tried not to make a sound. She needed to know what was going to happen next. Biting her lip, she tried to squint away the pain.

Tonks, too, was uncomfortable. The cupboard barely fit one of them, never mind three. She was beginning to loose feeling in her legs, but she was too preoccupied to do anything about it.

Astoria had felt something furry run up against her foot, and was doing everything she could not to scream. No doubt it was probably just Crookshanks, but she had no idea.

Speaking in the quietest voice possible, Ginny tried to organise the girls, silently rearranging how they stood. The darkness of the cupboard didn't help either, but Ginny would have done anything to watch what Hermione had just done. That included spending her evening peering through the slits in the cupboard of her professor's classroom.

After a few minutes of shuffling around, she finally looked up...

Her eyes doubled in size. Hermione had gone from holding his hand to... to...

Ginny tapped Tonks on the shoulder, redirecting her eyes to Hermione. She brought her hand to her mouth just in time to stop any noise coming out.

Hermione was muttering something to a topless Snape as he passionately undressed her. (Ginny could have sworn she heard the word 'Sirius' at one point, followed by some laughter, but she dismissed it.) The Potions Professor broke the contact for a moment to look longingly at Hermione in her underwear.

They watched her take control of the situation as she grabbed his body. The girls watched in awe. Ginny, particularly, whose face was resting flush against the small gaps of visibility, didn't know what to do when the couple found their way to her hiding place. She was centimetres away from Snape. It gave her a chance to check him out, and, granted, he wasn't too bad. He wasn't as good-looking as that time she 'accidentally' walked in on Sirius in the shower, but she definitely understood what was going through Hermione's mind on a night that most certainly did happened.

Tonks started tugging on Ginny's sleeve, then, in the lowest possible voice said, "Give them some space then."

Glaring was useless - it required Tonks being able to clearly see Ginny, which wasn't happening. Instead, she directed her friend's line of sight to Hermione, just as she heard some strange sounding noises, followed by Hermione muttering his name.

"Come with me," Hermione said, seductively pulling Snape across the classroom. She didn't have to tell him twice - he was practically chasing after every move she made. "Kiss me," she moaned, throwing herself at him. "Make me feel alive." They reached the storeroom and the door slammed shut. The girls could hear noise coming from behind that door too but they decided that it would probably be the right time to run.

* * *

"Remus? Are you awake?" Tonks called.

"I am now," he groaned. "What're you girls doing?"

"It's Hermione. She's... She's..." Ginny hadn’t said it out loud before.

"She's shagging Snape," said Astoria.

Remus chuckled a little, putting on his dressing gown and getting a drink. "No, she's actually not. See, I thought the same for a fair amount of time, but it turns out it was Sirius all along."

"What are you talking about?" interrupted Ginny. "We mean right now."

"In his storeroom," added Tonks. "Go see for yourself."

* * *

"Your friends are staring," said Snape. "It's now or never."

"I guess it is," she laughed. "I've got an idea." She leaned into a hug, and whispered, "Get Crookshanks in that cupboard. We need a distraction to put them off."

He did. The cat pranced over to the girls' direction, following a swish of Snape's wand.

"Now we need to get to that room behind me," she explained. "That's the only way this is going to work."

"I can do that," he laughed. "If you'll let me, that is?"

"You're the one that's going to have to explain to Sirius whatever you're thinking," she warned. "Bear that in mind."

They broke the hug when Hermione saw the cat leave. "Now or never," she told herself, striping Snape of his shirt. He leered forward, pinning her up against the table and helping her out of her pyjamas.

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry," she giggled into his shoulder. "This is weird. We haven't done this since-"

"Since that night, I know," he replied, equally as awkwardly. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," she said. "We're already half way to the other room. I'm just saying I'm more used to snarky comments and a few pickup lines. We haven't exactly done anything like this anytime recent. Fake or not, I'm just a little out of touch with you."

"But you're more than in touch with Sirius, eh?" he teased.

"I will not have you start," she complained. "I'm only in this situation because Ginny let him join our girls' night. If-"

"So he gets invited but I don't?" he interrupted.

"I've official uninvited him," she explained. "He offered to play truth or dare with Tonks, and look at me now."

"You haven't uninvited me." Over his shoulder, Hermione could see that the girls had their eyes back on her and Snape.

"I didn't invite you in the first place," she said, running her fingers through his hair.

He shrugged. "Yet."

"I'm in my underwear in your office while my friends spy on me getting ridiculously, uncomfortably close to you. You're never joining a girls' night. That's a fact.  _I'm_  also never going to go again. This was the final straw."

"No," he corrected. "Actually you're tricking your friends into thinking you're having an affair with you ex because they apparently don't trust you. I don't know how this is going to make you any more trustworthy, but I'm always up for a bit of fun." He picked her up and sat her down on one of the tables. "Speaking of which, it's a bit nippy in here. Let's get this over with." She nodded in agreement. Placing his hands on her shoulders, Snape gave Hermione a second to breathe before he raised his voice. "Hermione, Hermione, Hermione. Oh, what to do with you?" he said sternly.

Leading with her hips, she hopped of the table and onto her tiptoes. Severus was tall, but it was still quite easy to back him up against the cupboard the girls were hiding in, and wrap her arms around him. Slowly, she brought her lip closer and closer to his. They brushed gently against his and he let out a low, deep moan.

"Severus," she whispered into his ear, loud enough for Ginny, who was on the other side of the door, to hear. "Come with me." He followed her. They were so close to the other room. "Kiss me?" she asked, in Ginny's range. He looked back disapprovingly. "Make me feel alive." Disapproval turned to a suppressed laugh, but thankfully they had reached the storeroom, and the two could let go of each other.

Snape broke into a fit of laughter as they both slid their backs down the door.

"Sorry," said Hermione. "I didn-"

"It didn't happen," Snape justified in a shaky voice. "It doesn't matter."

"That was an act and a half, and it did happen," corrected Hermione. "I'm not lying to Sirius and neither will you."

They sat a few minutes in silence, readjusting to their usual selves.

"You aren't my ex," said Hermione, after running over in her mind a thousand times what he had told her. "That sounds... I don't like that. Ron's my ex."

"Technically so am I," he replied.

"No, you're just... you're just a friend."

"Would you do what you just did out there to a friend?" he asked.

"I definitely wouldn't do it to my ex," she replied.

"Touché."

* * *

"Remus, follow me," demanded Tonks.

"I'm not saying I don't believe you," he tried to say.

"Yes, you are," she argued, dragging him out of his room and heading straight for the dungeons. "And I'm going to prove I'm right."

* * *

Hermione sat on the edge of her bed, fidgeting nervously with her engagement ring. It was clunkier than her actual wedding ring, so it was much more satisfying to play with. Snape stood, staring silently out of the window. He would never admit it, but he was nervous. He had never been to the girls' dorm and hoped he never would return again. The dorm was quiet.

A few minutes later, the door at the side of the room creaked open. Sirius strolled through and clocked her. He took his wand out of his hair, and put it on the side. His wet bangs collide with his eyes, but he shook them away when he looked up.

"What's wrong?" he asked, taking her hand and pecking her on the cheek.

She opened her mouth, but had no idea how to even start.

"As long as you didn't shag hi-"

"Oh my God, Sirius. How many times?"

"You lied to me before."

"Well," she said. "Technically before you asked if I  _was_  shagging him, not if I had, so-"

"Hermione..."

"I didn't shag him. I just, you know, made it look like I did."

Sirius squinted at them, slightly confused.

"My clothes are all over the floor in his classroom. It's a crime scene."

"Was that all you did?" he asked dubiously.

"Well, no. Ginny, Tonks and 'Storia were kind of watching through the gaps in the cupboard door."

"So... you..."

"No, I didn't."

His eyes flickered back and forth between Hermione and Snape. Sirius had two thought. One:  _What the hell did she think she was doing? Snivellus Snape? I thought she had standards._  Two:  _Trouble in my middle name. Why would I ever think to turn down such a golden opportunity?_  He made a decision in the next moment. "But did it at least  _look_  realistic? If you're going to all this effort and Ginny doesn't believ-"

"She does," Snape interrupted. "You should've seen her face."

"I wasn't talking to you. Herm?"

"Ginny believes it," Hermione agreed.

"Ok," he shrugged. "I can roll with this. But you better keep me in the loop."

"Well, duh," said Hermione. "You're already a part of this."

He looked to Snape and back again. All he could see were the Marauders. They were always up to something ridiculous. It was comforting to know the next generation weren't slacking when it came to causing trouble, and he was almost pleased to know Hermione was the worst of them all. "So fill in the gap for me, if you would? Walk me through what actually happened?"

Hermione shrugged and looked to the fumbling man standing by the window. "Do you want me to say or do you-?" she asked.

"Go ahead," he said.

* * *

"Sirius, buddy, are you up there?" Remus called up the staircase. He'd tried in his youth to climb the stairs, and he knew from experience he'd have no luck. "Padfoot I need to talk to you!"

The girls looked between each other, all to afraid to venture first. It really was a crime scene in the dungeons. Remus was  _not_  pleased. He was going to be causing a lot of trouble when he finally found Hermione.

"I'm going to get my broom," he said to himself, politely barging through the crowd the three girls had created around him. With his order, they didn't think to go up the stairs without him.

* * *

"Would you two, for the love of all things magic, stop bickering!" Hermione shouted. "People are trying to sleep in here." She gestured to the other girls asleep in the dorm. Granted, Hermione had knocked them all out as soon as the girls' night started, but she wasn't going to share that information. There was a certain tranquillity in knowing Lavender Brown wasn't about to wake up and scream her head off, but telling the boys would only let them bicker louder.

"He started it," justified Sirius, who had a wand in his face.

"I don't care who started," she said sternly. "But if you don't pack it in,  _I_  will end it. "

Snape began to lower his shaky hand. He had a lot going on and he really wasn't coping well.

"Sorry," both men muttered.

There was a gentle knock on the door before it swung open.

"Stupefy," Snape shouted without thinking. His wand flew back up, followed by his eyes, which saw... Remus.

Shock and fear spread across both men's faces as Remus flew off his broom, head first into the brick wall.

As soon as Sirius clocked the situation, he leered at Snape, prepared to wrestle him to the ground.


	34. Consequences of Last Night

"Arresto momentum!" Hermione shouted, picking up the wand on the side in almost a reflex action. "For crying out loud, Severus, we talked about this. I'm not having another Dumbledore incident. I barely caught him last time."

Remus was frozen halfway down the slide, his head millimetres away from a deadly collision. He began to open his squinting eyes, then looked left and right. His locked jaw wouldn't let him talk or call for help. He was so terribly afraid of dying in that moment.

"Accio," she said, softly guiding Remus into the room and back onto his feet.

He took Hermione into his arms and squeezed. "I... I..." he stuttered, his voice shaking.

"Shh," she whispered into his ear. "It's ok. I was never going to let anything happen to you, was I?"

He didn't respond, only gripped the girl tighter. With her empty hand, Hermione ran her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, trying to calm him. She could hear his heartbeat begin to adjust. His hyperventilating began to turn into deeper breaths.

"Shh," she calmed, attempting to break the hug. Remus wasn't letting her go anywhere. "There's no need to be afraid, sweetheart. I've always got you. You're stuck with me."

Without letting go, Remus finally opened his eyes and looked over the shoulder he was resting on. Sirius and Snape were rolling around on the floor, beating the living daylights out of each other, both trying to secure the wand inches away from both of their hands.

"H-," Remus tried. "Her-Hermione. I think you need to look behind you." He let go of her but she refused to release his hands.

She gazed deeply into his eyes, attempting to clock how he was doing. She brought her hands to his face. "I've got eyes on the back of my head," she laughed gently. "I know exactly what going on behind me." Her voice rose as she turned her head. "And if they don't cut it out," she shouted. "I'll hex them both."

"Hermione," Remus said, quietly sincere. Her head whipped round. "I owe you my life. Again."

"You really don't," she laughed, but her attempt to lighten the mood failed, so she stopped joking around. "I got you in this situation," she said seriously. "I owe you an apology. I'm so sorry. This is the second time this week-"

"You owe me nothing. This is the fourth debt that I will never be able to repay you, and the second time I genuinely thought I was going to die. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be. I really don't know wh-"

"Sweetheart," she interrupted. "You're rambling. I get it. I'm irresistible." Hermione really needed to stop quoting Draco. "Now, I don't think this room has ever been so outnumbered by testosterone, so I think I might have to deal with whatever's going on behind me."

Hermione turned around. Sirius had Snape by his throat, his hand threatening him out of the window. Snape hands were doing everything they could to summon his wand, but he couldn't quite manage to form any words.

Huffing, Hermione opened her free hand and the wand flew into it. Placing both wands into her back pocket, she walked up them. "And what exactly is going on here?" she sassed.

"Nothing," Sirius said, letting go of Snape. He stepped away while the man half way out of the window began to topple backwards.

"Sirius," said his wife, giving him a disapproving look. She reached out her left hand and grabbed Snape's before he fell. "I thought I told you to give him a break."

He crossed his arms, watching her pull him back into the room. "He attacked Moony."

"Yes, and instead of helping Remus, you choose to start a fight."

"Can I have my wand back?"

"Oh, sorry, yeah." She handed it back. "I panicked. It was just on the side and I-"

"Stop apologising. You just saved Moony."

Hermione smiled.

"You do realise he's pretty solidly in his room," Sirius said, nodding at Snape. "Considering where he's standing, I don't think his going to fall out anytime soon."

"You promise not to throw him out of the window?" Sirius shook his head but she let go of Snape's arm anyway.

"One more thing," said Sirius. "Kiss me?"

Hermione suppressed a laugh and pecked him on the cheek.

"Can _I_ have _my_ wand back?" asked Snape.

She offered it, but did not let go until he promised to think before he cast anything ever again. Hermione also reminded him of the lake, saying that next time the squid would be "practically inviting" compared to what Sirius was probably planning.

Hermione paused a second, turned to Remus, then looked to Sirius. She patted herself down. “Has anyone seen _my_ wand?" she asked.

"I have a fair idea," said Snape. "I think you got a little preoccupied." As hard as he tried to stabilise his voice, it wasn't fooling Hermione.

"Oh this is an opportunity I can't miss," said Sirius, running past Remus and sprinting all the way to the dungeons. "I want to see this crime scene first hand."

Snape swiftly followed in an attempt to explain.

Hermione offered Remus her hand, but he did not accept it. "Those stairs aren't the only way in and out of here, you know. Let me show you something."

He nodded.

* * *

Ginny, Tonks and Astoria were sitting, standing, fidgeting in the common room. They were desperate to know what Remus was saying, but they had promised him they would let him deal with it. They had, after all, caused enough problems.

The door to the stairs swung open and a man pranced through.

Ginny wanted to say something, but she knew in her mind that Sirius would blame her for Hermione's... for Hermione's... infidelity? No, Hermione wasn't like that. She wouldn't. Would she?

The door swung open for a second time, and Snape marched through, trying to catch up with Sirius. "Can you at least let me try to explain before you-?"

Ginny didn't get to hear the rest of that conversation as the common room portrait hole swung closed.

Tonks' lips moved to form a word. "W...what?"

"Hm," Astoria agreed.

"Should we follow them?" asked Ginny.

* * *

"We really need to talk," said Remus. "I owe you more than enough to tell you when you're over your head. Hermione, you're over your head."

"I love you and all, Remus," she said, leading him down through the secret compartment behind one of the walls. "But I've got this. I lied to you before and I hated myself. I've got no reason to lie again." She moved from holding his hand to wrapping her arms around him as she walked. "I didn't sleep with Snape."

"But To-"

"I know what the girls said to you," she interrupted. "It was just a show. They didn't believe me when I told them something personal, so I thought I'd teach them a bit of a lesson."

"But Sir-"

"Sirius knows everything. He's a part of the conspiracy."

"But how did yo-"

"I asked him politely."

"I meant Severus."

"I know. I asked him politely." Remus squinted at her. "What do you think the girls didn't believe, eh?" she laughed. "We had a history. It's long over now and it should never have been brought up in the first place. I can't believe I let it slip. I was just arguing with Sirius about... about you."

Remus' head jolted up. "I'm sorry, what? What did I do now?"

"Sirius."

"I'm sorry?"

"I never knew you two had a thing," she teased.

"Merlin's beard. How the hell did that become a topic of conversation? You know rule one with Sirius is not to trust a word that comes out of his mouth. He's a little... rash with his words."

"But his actions speak clear as day," she countered, looking up at him. “And he’s always got the best intentions. Always." Hermione opened the door that they had reached and stepped out. "Come on," she ushered. He stepped out and looked around. They were at the back entrance to the Great Hall. How had Hermione managed that?

"Hermione, what do you mean by 'had a history'?" asked Remus.

"I mean that when I said I would never think to sleep with Snape I was telling the truth. I was drunk and depressed. It was the war. Harry was dead. I was about to join him. I … seized a moment before I ran out of moments. I haven't spoken to him about it in years, and I never planned on letting it see the light of day." Hermione took a deep breath and yawned. "If I ever told anyone, I'd tell you. This is me telling you."

"Thank you for the truth, Hermione," he said sincerely. "You're exhausted. Go and get some sleep. I'll be fine."

“Don't be silly," she said rubbing her eyes open. “You fell down stairs. I’m not leaving you anytime soon. Nor am I leaving Sirius and Severus to fight over who can return my wand to me."

"I'm surprised the school's not in flames already," he laughed.

"There's two reasons for that," said Hermione. "One." She reached inside her jacket pocket and retrieved Sirius' wand. "He dropped this. Two." She reached inside the pocket on the other side of her jacket, retrieving a second wand. "He dropped this."

"They're still going to beat the crap out of each other," said Remus.

"I know, but I can heal wounds pretty easily. That's my speciality," she laughed. "On second thoughts, I think it's probably best we do go to bed. It's pretty late."

* * *

Hermione woke on top of the covers of Remus' bed. Beyond tired, they'd crawled to his room in the dead of night, hoping to get a few hours before the busy day ahead, but Remus was still a little shaken up. She looked over to see a trembling man lying on his back. It was a little too familiar. She took his hand. He squeezed.

"Shh," she muttered. "It's over. It's just a dream. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

His eyes shot open. His hand released. He didn't move.

Hermione freed her hand, allowing it to crack a few times as she stretched it back into place. She flopped fully onto her side, resting her chin on a silent Remus' shoulder. The resemblance to Sirius was uncanny. They almost smelt the same too. She felt his body relax with her touch, so she continued to rest on him. Her arm lay across his chest, while her fingers made variations of a swirling pattern. He closed his eyes and smiled.

"Hermione, I love you," he murmured.

"I know, sweetheart," she whispered back. "Did you want me to cover your lessons this morning?"

"No, no, that won't be necessary, but thank you."

"You sure? Because I have no intention of attending Transfiguration."

"Quite sure, Hermione."

She squeezed his hand in a quick burst, then got up. "Take a hot shower. You'll feel better. I promise."

He nodded and headed to the bathroom.

* * *

Jolting out her seat, Ginny jumped awake. She looked around to see Tonks and Astoria asleep on the adjacent sofa, snoring heavily.

"Tonks," she whispered loudly. "Tonks. Get up. Did you see Remus leave the dorm? Tonks!" She moved to her other friend. "Astoria. Astoria. Wake up. Come on, Astoria. Draco's here," she lied. Astoria's eye sprung open and she sat up.

"What?"

"Did you see Remus leave the dorm?" Ginny asked.

"No. Is he not up there?"

"You're going to miss breakfast," Tonks groaned. "Look at the time."

Ginny boldly headed up the stairs to her dorm, only to find that it was empty. She freshened up and ran down to breakfast with Astoria.

Hermione was nowhere to be seen.

 An infestation of ducks, however, concerned the school much more than the Head Girl missing breakfast.

* * *

Contrary to her conversation with the Defence Against the Dark Art teacher, Hermione did indeed cover his lesson.

"Miss, where's Professor Lupin?" one student asked, brushing a duck off of his books.

"Sitting at the back of the lesson watching you all," she laughed. Most heads automatically swung to face the back of the classroom, only to be greeted by an empty chair. Well, empty if you aren’t including birds. Remus was actually in an apparently tedious meeting with Dumbledore and McGonagall. Through sheer dumb luck Professor McGonagall had also avoided her lesson, so Hermione didn't have to prepare to get an earful the next time he saw her teacher.

"Miss, can you cover our other lessons too?" another pleaded.

"Do you not like your other teachers?" laughed Hermione.

"Professor McGonagall sets us impossible homework and Professor Binns sets 20 inch essays and Professor Snape puts us in detention when we mess up our potions."

"I'm sorry to say the work only gets harder," said Hermione. "You do know you can just come to me with any problems though. I am the head girl so it's my job to look after you. I'm normally in the library or a common room."

* * *

Ginny sulked into her seat. It was too early for lessons, never mind double potions.

Looking up, she clocked the potion she was going to brew. She flicked through her textbook for the right page, glancing at some of the diagrams on the way, but only taking in the tale that Luna was retelling. Apparently nargles have a lot to say.

Luna stopped dead part way through her story. Ginny looked up, then across to what the girl seemed to be staring. In fact, the whole class was staring.

Their professor was eyeing them up. Well, with one of his eyes. The other eye wasn't as threatening, seeing as it was rimmed with a dark purple circle and swollen in one big lump, making it impossible to see out of.

"Pah," Ginny blurtled, before suddenly stopping herself. Maybe the lesson wasn't going to be too bad.

* * *

"Hermione! Hermione!" Ginny shouted, running up to the girl surrounded by Slytherins and ducks in a big circle. "Merlin, Hermione, have you seen Snape?"

”No..." she said. “Should I have?"

"You know he's got a black eye?" one person in the group said as they stroked the duck in their arms, trying to calm it down, before feeding it part of their potions textbook.

Hermione could not control her laughter. "I'm sorry, what?" she giggled.

"Rumour has it, it was you," they continued. The duck, having gone off the textbook, began to favour the student’s robes.

"Well for once, rumour was wrong," she clarified.

"For once?" they asked.

"Well the lake thing was so obviously me,” she laughed. "And whoever did this duck thing is a genius, so blame that on me all you want. Actually... Merlin... I know what happened to Snape. Fuck, sorry, excuse me."

"Where are you going?" asked Draco.

"I'll see you at lunch," she explained. Her hand brushed his shoulder and she whispered in his ear, "Sirius probably punched him, so I guess it kinda was my fault. I'm going to try to fix it before it gets any worse."

"But why would he punch him?" Draco called to her as he turned to watch her leave. "They're both wizards. They could have hexed each other off the face of the earth."

She ushered him to the side. "There was only one wand."

"Whose?"

"Mine..."

"What?"

"I'm going to show you show something that could quite possible get me expelled." She pulled him further to the side. She reached inside her cloak and pulled out two wands, neither of which were her own.

"Are they-?"

"Yes."

"I want to know everything."

"No, not now. Now you're going to go to Charms and cover for me."

"Ok, but tell me later."

"Sure."

"Hermione!" Ginny shouted, running up to her once again, while Hermione stuffed the wands back into her cloak pocket. Wading through a crowd of ducks slowed Ginny down for those crucial seconds. "What happened? Was it Sirius? Did he find out about you and Sn-?"

Hermione threw her hand over the girl’s mouth. "I'll explain that later too, Draco," she said, carrying Ginny out, tightly sealing any words from escaping.

"Where are you going?" Ginny managed to say once they were far enough away from anyone for Hermione to remove her hand.

"To sort out Sirius's mess."

"So it was Sirius?"

"Of course it was Sirius," Hermione said obviously.

"Was it because you shagged Snape?"

“Ginny, lower your voice,” she stated, checking behind her to see who was around. Thankfully, no one. "And no. I didn't shag him."

"Yeah, you did," said a stubborn Ginny. "I was there. I saw it."

"No, you thought you saw it. We weren't actually-"

"Yeah, you were," insisted Ginny.

"No, we really weren't," laughed Hermione. "I was nowhere near drunk enough to do that again." They had reached the dungeons. "Are you going to join me?"

"Um..." Ginny thought about it. It couldn't get weirder, could it? "You know what, ok."

* * *

"Hermione, I don't want your pity," came a smooth deep voice upon entering. "I understa- ah, Miss Weasley..." He swallowed. "Can I help you?"

Ginny crossed her arms while Hermione made her way over to her professor to check his eye. He flinched back with the first touch, but Hermione ignored it and continued to examine it. "What did you do to Sirius?" she asked plainly.

"Nothing," replied Snape, a little too quickly. He kept looking at Ginny. Hermione couldn't quite tell if he was just nervous or actually planning something.

"I don't believe you," she said.

"I also don't have your wand," he clarified. "If that's why you're here. Your dog of a husband punched me and ran."

"And neither of you thought to hex each other?" Ginny asked him. "You went straight into a physical fight? That's actually so immature."

"Hex? With what?" he asked.

"Er, with a spell," Ginny patronised.

"And how would one do that?" said Snape, playing along.

"You just," she got her wand out, "cast something. What were you doing?"

"Well I went into my pocket to get my wand, and can you guess what happened?" he said condescendingly.

"Sirius wrestled you to the ground and upon closer inspection you realised you didn't want to ruin such a perfect face?" Ginny asked.

"Ow," he flinched. Without a wand, Snape hadn't even attempt to sort out his eye. He trusted Hermione more than his own shaky hands and couldn’t bare the shame or questions from Pomfrey, so he was silently thankful that she started to apply the potion that was in her pocket.

"Stop moving," she demanded. "Don't make me hex you to this table."

"You'd like that," he teased, leaning in much closer to her.

"You betcha arse I would," she smirked, biting her lip.

"I really hope you two aren't like this when I'm not here," Ginny commented. The two created some space between them as Hermione reached out and tilted Snape's head to check the swelling from a different angle.

"I'm always like this," Hermione protested, looking quickly to Ginny and then back again. "I live to make inappropriate comments."

"I'm not going to argue with that," said Snape.

"Please stop," Ginny complained. "It's really freaking me out."

"Freaking _you_ out? Ginny, I... I have no words."

Snape laughed a little as his hand crept towards Hermione, reaching inside her cloak and retrieving his wand.  His hand was still shaking and the girl could tell. Something wasn't right.

"Severus what's going on?" Hermione said in a very low voice, well out of range of Ginny, who was standing awkwardly at the side. "Lucius left. He only cared about Draco. He's not going to drag you into anything again. The war's over and he's not got nearly as much power as he did. Sirius barely scratched you so I know it's not that."

Snape tried for a smile but a pained expression fell across his face. It was clear he was trying to blame it on the potion she was dabbing around his eye, but Hermione made sure not to apply too much pressure. "Don't worry about it," he said. "I've got it."

"I don't believe you," she replied. "You can lie to as many people as you like but you're never going to be able to lie to me. You taught me too well."

"I guess so."

CREEK...

It was one of the floorboards outside the room. Someone was there. Ginny's eyes followed the sudden head turns of the other two.

Hermione drew the wand from her pocket and inched towards the door. "Are you expecting a visitor?" she asked.

"No, the door should be locked." He too drew his wand, which then prompted Ginny to copy.

"You better put that bloody thing down," Hermione laughed in a serious tone. “I'm not cleaning up your mess again." He didn't, so she snatched it out of his hand instead. "Don't make me hex you."

As soon as the door opened, Hermione had a wand in the intruder's face.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and leave kudos. I really appreciate what you have to say.


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